Long live Rudolph the red
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pasd84
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...

"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/13harry09
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Rudolph the Red knows rain dear
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CV3C20
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bunch of racist red necks storming the Capitol Building?

The Coup Klux Klan

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobMV03
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
A viking named Rudolph The Red was looking out his window one day

"Its going to rain soon" he said to his wife. "How could you possibly know that?" She asked. He simply replied, "Because Rudolph The Red knows rain, dear."

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the fruit that is green on the outside and red with black seeds on the inside, the name start with an H

Half a watermelon

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a white hat dropped into the Red Sea become?

Wet

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irishlamb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the red-haired elf in the baking dept. at the North Pole?

He’s a gingerbread man.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I was left a package this morning. On the front in big red letters it said, "PLEASE DO NOT BEND"

I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My 12 year old daughter got me today. Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer was playing on the radio.

"What was the other reindeer's name?"

"Um, Dasher?"

No."

"Dancer?"

"No. Olive."

"Olive?"

"Yes! Olive, the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names."

I was very proud.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Snoopy AKA Snoop dogg AKA the Red Baron has been spotted flying his Dogg house today. It is understood that he defeated his enemies in one fell snoop.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Badwolfgyt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is pronounced dead after colliding with a flock of seagulls and a 747 over Madrid.

Eyewitnesses say the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nsh921
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Can’t wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.

Just so I can ask if there’s wife on Mars.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Which red is the hardest to see?

Censored

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unkn4wn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Red Cross not allow Jesus and Muhammad to volunteer?

It’s a non-prophet organization.

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/walrusgumbel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
After the exodus through the Red Sea, Moses's staff could no longer perform miracles, and still he kept it beside him the rest of his life...

...he just couldn't part with it.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the violent crash between the red ship and the blue ship?

All the sailors were marooned!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vanguard_The
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between red and blue thermometers?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/devildocjames
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The other day, I thought my blue car had turned red

But it was just a pigment of my imagination

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TitanGuppie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman driving a minivan with 7 hyperactive kids gets pulled over for running a red light. The cop says β€œDon’t you know when to stop?” The woman says...

They’re not all mine.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaymanRich
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The biggest red flag
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zachattack15782
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What happened when the red boat crashed into the blue boat?

The crews were marooned.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InfiPlayer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
The bass player of Red Hot Chili Peppers opened a second hand store

They're calling it the Flea Market

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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What did the blue sheep say to the red sheep?

Voting third party is a waste.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Urbandale-Apiary
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
The button is RED.

It's REDdit, not ORANGEdit.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ronniemondal
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
So I wanted to buy my wife a nice yellow orchid for her birthday, but then I swapped it for a red rose in the last second...

You could say it was a quick change of plants

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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Why did the bear turn red?

Because he was em-bear-ssed

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: *arriving at the office after lunch in a nice red dress.*

My boss: Why are you dressed as a woman?!

Me: What do you mean? You asked me if i could join the meeting with the Chinese as a trans later?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kjarkr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you swim in the red sea?

Marooned

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blarty97
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
To the scumbag that stole 300 cans of Red Bull from my store,

I don't know how you can sleep at night.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
As a colorblind man, i thought i saw red for the first time

Turns out it was only a pigment of my imagination

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imodigum
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The red scare
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FBI_03
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the elephant paint its toenails red?

So it could hide in a cherry tree. Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree? It works.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the snail paint a big red S on the side of his race car?

Because he wanted to hear everyone say "Look at that S car go!".

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lisajean1234
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL the color magenta doesn't exist, it is your brain trying to make sense of your red and blue cones activating while the green is inactive.

Turns out, it's a pigment of your imagination

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do I have if I have 8 red LEGO bricks in one hand and 16 blue LEGO bricks in the other hand?

Really big hands.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The colours red, white and blue are the colours of freedom.

Until they are flashing behind you.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A French guy started a charitable foundation that symbolizes the coexistence between faiths; combining "Red Cross" and "Red Crescent". What did he call it?

Red Croissant

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
whats the difference between red and purple?

your grip

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jordanvbull
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A Viking named Rudolph the Red

One night a viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, β€œIt’s going to rain.” His wife asked, β€œHow do you know?” He said, β€œBecause Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Tigger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
A viking by the name of Rudolph the Red was sitting in his home, when he looked out the window.

He told his wife that it was going to rain soon. His wife, never hearing her husband predict the weather before asks, "How Rudolph, how do you know its going to rain soon?"

"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pidgeon-eater-69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said

β€œIt looks like it’s going to rain” his wife said how do you know?

He replied β€œRudolph the Red knows rain, dear....

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pasd84
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
One Night a Viking named Rudolph the Red told his wife, It’s going to Rain...she asked how he knew...

Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear

(Yes, I stole this from another sub:))

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJBlue18
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
If you dunk a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeskiePete
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said "It's going to rain". His wife asked "how do you know?"

"Because rudolph the red knows rain, dear"

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TripHasard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What happened when the red ship and the blue ship crashed

They were marooned

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report

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