If you become seriously depressed, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed.

That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a feline paralyzed from drinking carbonated water?

Catatonic

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
A man was tired of drinking well water as he didn't like the taste. In fact, he hated it so much that he decided to destroy the well using dynamite. Unfortunately...

It didn't end well.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Trump did an amazing job, drinking a glass of water.

Gotta hand it to him.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the royal taster say after drinking the poisoned water?

Not much

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A new study is showing surprising advances in primate evolution: Dr. Thomas Ink, a researcher in southern Africa has found certain groups of apes 'brewing' alcohol by leaving old fruit to stand in water pools then drinking from it and becoming inebriated.

Dr. Ink has dubbed these 'Monkey Bars'.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pparten
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
On a thread about quarantining a water drinking subreddit
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperSpiral
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm addicted to drinking water

Guess I'm an aquaholic now

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/just_a_gene
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Stomach's upset from drinking too much water...

It was a pour choice.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pugshugsbugs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a hipster drinking ice water...

He said he liked it before it was cool. I gave him some well water and he liked it because it was so underground.

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/patoms2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2013
🚨︎ report
What do Captain America's Enemies say while drinking water?

Hail Hydrate

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VIVIVUSVICI
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2017
🚨︎ report
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water.

Number 1 and number 2.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Where do hamsters go to drink water?

Amsterdam.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
To all ya'll in Texas without tap water

Get well soon.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kimenon001
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I saw a guy drink a bottle of brandy, then fill it to the top with water and screw the lid back on.

He approached a wild ox. The ox looked at him.

The guy said, "Hello, there, wild ox. Would you like to buy this bottle of brandy from me? Β£50, that is all."

The wild ox mulled it over, before pulling out the money and handing it over to the man.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have jumped up and yelled, "It's a con, yak!"

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My mom bought nasty sparkling water drinks. My brother said it tasted like devil incarnate.

I said it tasted like devil carbonate :D

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the skeleton drink a pitcher of water?

His throat was BONE dry!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bronzeaardvark
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a Marsupial on drugs makes you a delicious drink out of hot water and plants?

High Koala Tea

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cuffbox
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who drinks too much water?

An aquaholic

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CRich19
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do we drink water?

Because we can't eat it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/electricalalarm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
In Mexico, they say if you drink Topo Chico mineral water you'll grow taller.

It is the Legend of Tipi Topo Chico...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MelvinRoseTX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't drink water while studying chemistry.

It lowers concentration.

πŸ‘︎ 200
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πŸ‘€︎ u/packapplejuice
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Drink more water
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
🚨︎ report
How many bottles of water do you drink everyday?

Because you are considered an aquaholic

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SlipperyRoads
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
When the waiter asked me what I wanted to drink, I told him a glass of water please.

Straight away he replies "still water sir?"

Yeah, like I'm suddenly going to change my mind.

Honestly, customer service these days.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RHOrpie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Don't you love it when it's a hot summer day and you take a drink of water? Your mouth feels like it's finally reach salvation.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Masonlevyofficial
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
My coworker has to drink alkaline water to prevent IC flare-upsβ€”the higher the pH the better.

That’s so basic.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jjazzy1990
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the god of thunder drink water?

Because he was thorsty.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WafflesGaming
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
A wolf, a fox and a weasel all go to a diner. The waitress comes over and asks them what they want to drink. β€œCoffee” growls the wolf. β€œWater” says the fox...

And β€œPop!” goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 141
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichNCrispy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2017
🚨︎ report
Wanna know why I don't drink water?

It's because I'm a man of taste.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leecy1320
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
If planes were alive, where would they drink water?

In the jet stream.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I mixed Holy water and prune juice together to make a new drink.

It gave me a religious movement.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goodlyearth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My son said his teacher said to drink 8 glasses of water per day, and I told him it’s not possible. He asked why? And I said...

We only have 5 glasses in our house

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_tupperwhere_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
LPT: Don't drink water if you're trying to focus.

It will reduce your concentration.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Icecreep109
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snake that doesn’t drink enough water?

A Cottonmouth

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/noobmoney_rs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep...

That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
There are two reasons not to drink toilet water.

Number one. And number two.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
There are two reasons you shouldn't drink toilet water

Number one, and number two

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Here are two reasons why no one should drink toilet water.

Number 1.

Number 2.

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What are the top two reasons you shouldn’t drink water from a toilet?

Number 1)...and number 2)

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Study tip: Don't drink water while studying

Because water decreases concentration.

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maximmilliam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
There are 2 clear reasons why one should never drink water out of the toilet.

Number 1 ...and Number 2.

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UriahPeabody
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2017
🚨︎ report
There are two reasons why I would never drink toilet water

Number 1 and number 2

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bilokilla
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you know you shouldn't drink water when you study?

You will lose concentration

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/benloti
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report

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