I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Feb 27 2021
I had a dream that I invented a new color
But when I woke up I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.
ποΈ 118
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οΈ Feb 07 2021
A shitty pun that came to me in a dream.
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Feb 18 2021
Last night I had a dream that I ate a 50 lb marshmallow.
This morning I woke up and my pillow was gone.
Today is the 13th anniversary of my father passing and this was my favorite joke that he used to tell. Enjoy.
ποΈ 254
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οΈ Jan 06 2021
I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Mar 02 2021
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
ποΈ 49
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οΈ Feb 03 2021
What do you call a horse that causes you to have bad dreams?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Feb 16 2021
In a dream I was being chased by a trillion male cows...
ποΈ 25
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οΈ Jan 31 2021
I knew a man who worked in restaurants his entire life. On his death bed, he told me he regretted that he never left to follow his dreams..
It was never the right time, so he spent his whole life waiting.
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Jan 14 2021
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, βIf you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!β
I replied, βI'm on the toilet, please adviseβ¦β
ποΈ 16k
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οΈ Jun 15 2020
A man decides to fulfill his lifelong dream of owning a horse, and goes to a local breeder
Not having much knowledge of the animals, he asks the owner to show him around and tell him about different breeds. "Sure, let's go," says the owner, and brings him over to the paddocks.
"So a lot depends on what you want the animal for," he says, and gestures to a powerful stallion running laps. "Over there, you've got your Type A horse: strong, fast, and a little unpredictable, but great if you want to get somewhere in a hurry."
"I think that'd be a little much for me," the man says, and the owner nods, then brings him over to see a mare quietly chomping at some hay in the shade. "This is a Type B horse - tends to be quiet and they're good companions, but not much for doing work."
The man pauses to think about what he wants the animal for, then looks over at a nearby pond and sees a horse swimming and diving over and over again. "What the heck is that one doing?" he asks the owner. "Oh, him? That's a C horse."
ποΈ 265
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οΈ Oct 25 2020
A wet dream is actually a dream cum true
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Dec 10 2020
I had a terrible dream where I was being chased by a female horse after sunset.
ποΈ 35
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οΈ Dec 04 2020
A man who loved to catch butterflies married the woman of his dreams:
ποΈ 50
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οΈ Nov 19 2020
Had a dream yesterday. It was year 2021, There was a new pandemic of stomach flu...
We all had to wear diapers and we quickly recognised that masks in 2020 were not that bad.
ποΈ 24
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οΈ Oct 29 2020
I had a dream where I thought I was in a trigonometric function of an angle...
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Sep 05 2020
I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT THAT I KNIGHTED AN ELECTRIC FISH.....
ποΈ 165
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οΈ Jun 05 2020
Last night, I had a dream that I had discovered a new color.
But it just turned out to be a pigment of my imagination.
ποΈ 41
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οΈ Aug 30 2020
I recently pursued my dream career of becoming a very successful plagiarizer.
I tried, but I didn't make it.
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Oct 19 2020
My wife left her position as a Geologist to pursue her dream as a tennis coach...
...She went from studying faults to double-faults.
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Sep 04 2020
I once had a dream about the future
There was milk in the fridge
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Sep 15 2020
I went to the doctor, told him I keep having these dreams I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam. Teepee then a wigwam. What's wrong with me, I asked.
Oh, that's easy, said the doctor: you're two tents. (too tense)
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Aug 01 2020
I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor.
Actually it's probably more of a knight mare.
ποΈ 8k
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οΈ Jun 19 2019
It's been a lifelong dream of mine to live in a house with my own clone. But the science has just come out that most people would hate dealing with someone identical to them.
I just don't think I can live with myself after hearing that.
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Jul 18 2020
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
ποΈ 125
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οΈ Dec 11 2020
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
ποΈ 372
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οΈ Nov 11 2020
Today I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram
ποΈ 214
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οΈ Nov 23 2020
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night
ποΈ 18
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οΈ Dec 08 2020
I had a dream I was a muffler last night.
ποΈ 20
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οΈ Nov 28 2020
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
ποΈ 14
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οΈ Nov 25 2020
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
ποΈ 79
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οΈ Oct 24 2020
I had a strange dream last night that I was a muffler.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Nov 17 2020
I had a dream that I was a muffler
ποΈ 37
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οΈ Oct 02 2020
I had a dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow
When I woke up my pillow was gone
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Nov 02 2020
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
ποΈ 50
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οΈ Aug 29 2020
Had a dream that I was a tailpipe last night
ποΈ 21
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οΈ Sep 01 2020
I had a dream that I was weightless
ποΈ 57
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οΈ Jun 22 2020
I had a dream last night that I was a muffler.
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Aug 17 2020
I had a dream that I was a muffler...
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Sep 10 2020
I had a dream I was swimming in a ocean of orange soda...
Turns out it was just a Fanta Sea.
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Jul 01 2020
Had a dream I was a muffler...
ποΈ 37
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οΈ Aug 22 2020
Last night I had a dream that I was a muffler
ποΈ 14
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οΈ Aug 09 2020
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
ποΈ 6k
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οΈ Aug 13 2019
Last night I had a dream I was a car muffler
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Aug 19 2020
I had a dream I was drowning in orange soda.
When I woke up I realized it was a Fanta sea.
ποΈ 26
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οΈ Aug 13 2020
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram....
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Jul 30 2020
Last night, I had a dream that I was a muffler
ποΈ 89
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οΈ Apr 29 2020
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