A widow is mourning at her husband's grave site. A gentleman walks by and says "If you don't mind, I'd like to say a word."

"That would be nice" she said. "Plethora"..... "Thanks, that means a lot."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DaFunkJunkie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Our family went on a long hike, and our youngest son kept slipping and falling. My wife comforted him, saying, "Don't worry, honey, after we get through this snowy part it's all cake after that." "Don't believe a word she says," I interjected...

"There's no cake, it's all just rocks and dirt."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Cronenberg_C137
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/anywhereiroa
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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What is a dadjoke?

I know this topic has been done to death in here and I apologise to the mods for bringing it up again but recent "jokes" have made me question what the point of this sub is.

I'd like to not have a discussion about "should we let NSFW jokes here or not" instead I think it should be important to understand what everyone thinks their defenition of a dadjoke actually is.

Before I say my definition I want to make it clear that I whole heartedly enjoy good NSFW jokes and I'm a regular visitor to r/unclejokes.

My defenition: a good dadjoke is something that is usually based around a bad pun or clever word play that makes people around you groan or roll their eyes, similar to the types of jokes you find in Christmas crackers, they are so bad that they are good. The language involved can sometimes be a bit NSFW depending on the subject material but on the whole if you change things about a bit your can make it suitable for most ages. It is the type of joke where when you tell it everyone's first reaction is to complain how bad it is before then secretly uttering a chuckle themselves.

I want to know what everyone else's definition of a dadjoke is so that we can see what everyone thinks. The old "it's a dadjoke because I'm a dad and I'm telling a joke" I just don't think is an accurate enough description so trying to get a better one.

Thank you.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rossta42
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 01 2021
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It's the holiday season, and you know what THAT means.

...but in case you don't:

that pronoun (1) \ หˆtอŸhat , tอŸhษ™t
plural those\ หˆtอŸhลz
Definition of that

(Entry 1 of 5) 1a : the person, thing, or idea indicated, mentioned, or understood from the situation that is my father b : the time, action, or event specified after that I went to bed c : the kind or thing specified as follows the purest water is that produced by distillation d : one or a group of the indicated kind that's a catโ€”quick and agile 2a : the one farther away or less immediately under observation or discussion those are maples and these are elms b : the former one 3a โ€”used as a function word after and to indicate emphatic repetition of the idea expressed by a previous word or phrase he was helpful, and that to an unusual degree b โ€”used as a function word immediately before or after a word group consisting of a verbal auxiliary or a form of the verb be preceded by there or a personal pronoun subject to indicate emphatic repetition of the idea expressed by a previous verb or predicate noun or predicate adjective is she capable? She is that

4a : the one : the thing : the kind : something, anything the truth of that which is true the senses are that whereby we experience the world what's that you say b those plural : some persons those who think the time has come

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheSolarJetMan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 24 2021
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Itโ€™s a long one

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyerย persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."

She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.

The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bak_286
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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All the dad jokes that have made me laugh/breath out my nose since I had my firstborn at the start of 2021

Some of these are border-line uncle jokes. I'm also an uncle. I keep all these jokes in my dadabase. Aka Google notes.

Some of these I got off of podcasts, the dad joke API, some from movies, but most are from this sub. Let me know if you want a source for a joke or if one of them was yours I'll give credit.

It's ok to be Frank with people. Or josh with them. But try not to Rob or Sue them.

What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck

If the USA is so great then why did they make USB?

Tesla founder Elon Musk is originally from South Africa. Which is strange.
You think he'd be from mad-at-gas-car

How did Jesus keep his abs? Crossfit

What does a Jewish cowboy celebrate Yee-Hanukka

What did the stamp say to the letter Stick with me and you'll go places

I gave my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick She's still not talking to me

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

What word starts with E and ends with E, but only has one letter in it. Envelope โœ‰

Why do people on Athens hate getting up early Because dawn is tough on Grease

What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain A purramid

Why do fish like salt water? Pepper makes them sneeze

If april showers bring may flowers What do may flowers bring? PILGRIMS

Why do cemeteries have fences Because people are dying to get in

Did you know Bruce Lee had a Faster older brother? Sudden lee

Did you know he also had a Vegan brother? Broco lee

Pig black belt in karate Pork chop

How do you put an odd number of sugar cubes in 3 cups of coffee If you have 20 sugar cubes? You have to use all the cubes.

You put 1 in the first cup, one in the second cup, and 18 in the last cup. Because 18 is an odd number of sugar cubes to put on a cup of coffee.

I was going to tell your a joke about Yoga But it's Not working out

What do you do if your wife starts smoking Use some lubricant

did you hear about the woman with 12 breasts? Sounds weird, dozen tit?

What did baby corn say to momma corn ( I got a boy scout selling popcorn to eyeroll me on this one) Where's popcorn

What type of pasta do they serve at a haunted house? Fettuccine Afradio

What do you call a werewolf streamer? Liken subscribe

Why don't Elton John songs have a copyright? You can tell everybody this is your song.

My mom swears up and down cows arent real I was in udder disbelief

Skeleton goes into a bar, he orders a beer and a mop

Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet Because th

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/krowvin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 09 2021
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A paragraph of cooking/food based puns

Yam know, I know alot of ice food plums. I can dumpling em on you right now desprite the pickle I'm in. They're pretea cheesey but they get cheddar! There's eggndless pastabilities when it cucumbers to word plate. I doughn't meat to egg you on butter you should really try it! Just lettuce loose. Mustard up the courage to ketchup with the times and mayoby relish in the potgress of bready made humor! I know it mayo seem fishy butter you'll loaf it! I know you vegemight not carrot about puns but they're truly bratworth it! Clam on, don't be a chicken! Don't let your creams be creams! You donut know what you're mincing! Yah goatta be nuts not to try it once! I meat, water you doing right now anywaffer? Once you do, orange you be glad you tried? I'll even pear you up with someone you can make grape puns with! I'm sugar you'll be able to bake olive the amazucchini ones I'm saying right now! There'll be so much to tacobout. Though, I hope you don't have any beef. I don't think I'm stroganoff to stop boba you if you fight. I won't be able to cashew . Cerealously. Soooda...I guess you batter be ice and things will be all peachy! Oh to be a pizza the fun.. Man, I can go on but I'm dragonfruitn' this out and I avocadon't wanna come off as souper corny. So, lettuce toast to the cake world of puns and mango on like never before!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LaptopArmageddon
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 20 2021
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Talking to our 16mo old son, I don't think he can say anything with a k

Trying to see what words our son can say:

Wife: I don't think he can say anything with a k

Dad: he just said knee

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dtrain323
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 10 2021
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Son: Daddy I can't sleep

Me: Don't worry son, I'll sing you a lullaby.

Me: Hush little baby, don't say a word.

Me: And never mind that noise you heard.

Me: It's just the beasts, under your bed.

Me: In your closet, IN YOUR HEEEEEEAAAAD!

Me: EXIIIITTT LIIIIGGGHHHT!!!! ...... EEENNTTTERRRR NIIIIGGGHHT!!!

taken from dad jokes

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bmantis311
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/communist_scumbag
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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The chicken police

So my family has chickens and in order to understand how this pun came to be I must give a little background on a running joke my family makes. When our chickens do some crazy weโ€™ll say something along the lines of โ€œ(chickenโ€™s name) is on crack.โ€ This was a few days ago so I donโ€™t remember the exact words but it went something like this: Somebody: (chickenโ€™s name) you need to get off of whatever crack youโ€™re on. In my head: Wait a second, I feel like I can make a pun here... And about 10 seconds of thinking later I said some along the lines of โ€œOr else we might have to call the poultrice!โ€

Get it? Poultry + police. Felt like a genius.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PlatypusQueen17
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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Some one stole my dictionary and thesaurus

I don't know what to say, I have no words

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/linkhandford
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 08 2020
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I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but Iโ€™m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, โ€œConstipationโ€? Well it doesnโ€™t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said โ€œNo, doc, itโ€™s dis knee.โ€

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses donโ€™t cause reactions, after all.

Whatโ€™s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why canโ€™t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You donโ€™t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I canโ€™t stop reading books with female protagonists! Iโ€™m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fightโ€ฆ 21.

My friend told me, โ€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!โ€ So I said, โ€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!โ€

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bondโ€ฆ ionic bond. โ€œTaken, not shared.โ€ What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santaโ€™s sleigh cost? $0, itโ€™s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

Iโ€™m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, Iโ€™m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide Whatโ€™s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But thatโ€™s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kinjago
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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How are your fingers?

I was skiing and got onto a chairlift with a father and his son (around 6 years old). The father was asking if his son's fingers were still cold. His son, looking visibly upset said "They were okay, but I had forgot about them and just mentioning my fingers made them start hurting again! Don't say another word about my fingers!"

You could hear the gears turning, and I watched the smirk form on the father's face as he proudly stated "Another word about my fingers". His son burst into tears.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Slothemo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 11 2016
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Great list of excellent puns

How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crรชpes.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop

any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd

never met herbivore.

When chemists die, they barium.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

Why were the Indians in America first? They had reservations.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she

couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A theasaurus.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The

police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Donโ€™t worry about old age; it doesnโ€™t last.

My friend sent me these puns idk source just thought you would enjoy

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/benschweiz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 15 2016
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There's a little known country in central Europe that is ruled by a monarchy...

Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable they are.

The king knows this and he knows that only a small portion of his populace can ever hope to become one of the respected elite, let alone hold one of their masterpieces in their own hands. Being a very just and fair man, the king ordered the most senior watchmaker in the land to create something the likes of which had never been seen. A watch of such great craftsmanship so as to be above monetary value. The man labored long and hard for many nights to produce the king's watch. When he at last presented the completed work to his lord - in front of the entire nation, no less - he was met with thunderous applause and a warm embrace. He had done it! The king then made a shocking announcement.

"This masterpiece belongs to my people!"

When the roaring of the crowd died down he continued.

"This watch shall be a symbol of my love for all of you. Though I rule over you with supreme authority I do not wish a single one of you to feel that you do not have a voice in the ruling of this nation. From this day on let anyone who doubts my decisions or questions my judgment wear this watch and stand as my equal to voice their concerns. Should even a single one of you think me unfair or wrong in any matter then simply come to my castle and I will present you this token of good faith."

The king made good on his word and from that day on all citizens knew they held the right to challenge their king's rulings. Over time the watch became a symbol of fairness throughout the land. Anyone who wore it

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 85
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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 06 2016
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There was once a priest who went to see the world after taking his oath....

After many years of wandering, he finally arrived in a small village in the middle of nowhere. The people there believed in the same religion as he did, but they had no church; they had to go to the nearest one which was in a small town 25 km's from there. The priest took the initiative, asked the Church for support, and with the help of the local men they built their own temple. From there on, he was celebrating the Sunday masses, joining together men and women in Holy Matrimony, and saying prayers at the funerals.

Many years passed by like that.

At the end of an ordinary mass, in early spring, on a chilly Sunday morning he was just guiding the people out of the church, was about to close the gates when an unknown man stepped into the churchyard.

With his dirty and torn clothes, he stood before the priest and said:

  • Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was a good man, and even though he thought the request was a bit strange, he went back to the rectory, took out a lemon, cut it in half, took it back to the man and gave it to him, who looked back to the priest with gratitude. However, the priest was curious. He asked:

  • Son, why do you need this half of a lemon? - with a fright on his face, and before the priest could have said a thing, he rushed out of the churchyard gate and took off.

A week later, around the same time, when the priest was leaving the church, he found himself in front of the same man in the churchyard. The man said:

  • Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was surprised by the appearance of the man and his strange request. Of course he was good, went back to the rectory, and brought the half lemon. Placed it in the strangerโ€™s hand and immediately he asked:

  • Here it is, my dear son, but please tell me why do you need this half a lemon? - the man was obviously frightened and immediately ran away but the priest was not sluggish either and ran after him. He wasnโ€™t in a very good condition, he has never run so much and so fast before so he was out of breath by the end of the village, almost fainted. He thought the strange man might appear again next week, and it would be nice if he could keep up with him, so he spent his week working on his cardio. It turned out to be a good idea, because as he thought, the stranger entered the churchyard on Sunday. The priest didnโ€™t even wait for the request, he was good, and brought the half lemon. He received these words from the man:

  • Thank you

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Doty152
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
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The best joke since sliced bread

So was heading out of my room to the hallway and right when I opened the door, I ran into my roommate eating a plain slice of bread. We both surprised each other, so we just froze for a second. I don't even know how it happened, but the words instinctively came out of my mouth as if I was born to say them.

"Looks like I caught you...bread-handed."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/guess_my_password
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 08 2015
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Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PraetorSolaris
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A short collection of fresh puns.

Most of this is my own work, if not, it was inspired by something clever!
I hope this will tickle your funnybone and produce a jolly good set of laughs.

A guy didn't register that the wet paint signs about the handrail was still drying, his hand immediately stuck to the rail. My only response to him was, well you see there, it's an application problem, not hardware.

A researcher's obsession with mixing sand, stones, lime and water has started to yield concrete results.

Eyeglass makers who profit well can frame their success.

Joe: I gave the backyard squirrels Christmas presents!
Abby: Are you nuts?
Joe: No, that's what I gave them...

What did the supervisor at the tortilla factory say at the end of a long workday?
That's a wrap!

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. (Insp)

People who don't answer the phone sometimes miss their calling in life.

His words were heavy, but his friends didn't get the gravity of the situation.

Time flies like crazy!
Fruit flies like apples!

Never let logic and reasoning get in the way of telling a good story. (Sounds like something that would be said on TopGear/Grand Tour)

There are a few words that will open many doors for you in life - Push and Pull (Insp)

Somehow people really don't like it when I throw lamps at them to encourage them to lighten up.
Same goes for tossing handles for when they need to get a grip or soap for cleaning up their act.

When you're on the ballot for the water council and they have a runoff election.

Ghosts speak latin, it's a dead language (Insp)

If you work at a grocery, send the interns down to the meat market to get some red herrings.

There was a river in Egypt that no one believed existed, it was known locally as De-Nile.

Bad luck Brian - Invests in uranium, profits decay.

There was an explosion at the film manufacturing company, reporters say the story is still developing.

Why do bagpipers walk around?
To get away from the noise (Insp)

Most people have a six-figure income, just the decimal point is in the wrong place.

It has recently been discovered that scientific research causes cancer in rats.

In Russia, the term road has had a controversial meaning for a very long time.

In Canada/Russia, you put things in the fridge to warm them up.

Did you know that the creator of Barbie was named Barbara Dahl?

Doc: There's something not q

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/techtornado
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 09 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Funny quotes from Blackadder the Third

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): I have come up with a plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel.

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): Morning, Mr. B.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Leave me alone, Baldrick. If I wanted to talk to a vegetable, I would have bought one at the market.

[Referring to a suicide pill they have both been given, after being captured by French revolutionaries]

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): Iโ€™m glad to say you wonโ€™t be needing that pill, Mr. B.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words โ€œI have a cunning planโ€ marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): They certainly are.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Well, forgive me if I donโ€™t do a cartwheel of joy; your record in this department is hardly 100%. So what is it?

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): We do nothing โ€ฆ

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Yup, itโ€™s another world-beater.

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): No, wait. We do nothing โ€ฆ until our heads have actually been cut off.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): And then we โ€ฆ spring into action?

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): [to Baldrick] Unless I think of something, tomorrow we go to meet our Maker: in my case God, in your case God knows.

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): Sounds like a bag of grapefruits to me, Mr B.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): The phrase, Baldrick, is โ€œa case of sour grapesโ€ โ€“ and yes it bloody well is.

Mrs. Miggins: The Scarlet Pimpernel, Mr. Blackadder! Heโ€™s so exciting, donโ€™t you think?

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Actually, I think heโ€™s the most over-rated human being since Judas Iscariot won the AD31 Best Disciple Competition.

http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/funny-quotes-from-blackadder-the-third/

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tfraymond
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to...

โ€ฆ u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

  1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

  2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

  3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

  1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

  2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

  3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

  1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

  2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

  3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Skormes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Not a dad, but I hope you can torment your kids with this one.

So, Arthur's dad is writing a letter to his sister when he suddenly feels a sharp pain in his hand. So he yells,

 

ARTHUR! ARTHUR!

"Yeah, Dad, what's going on?"

ARTHUR!

"Dad, what's wrong?"

Quick, don't ask any questions. I'm going to say some words and you write them down.

"Why can't you write them down?"

Arthur, write this.

(If it doesn't make sense, read the last line out loud.)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tiltedlens
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Wedding Puns

The funniest and cutest wedding puns by Puns Ville

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.


Letโ€™s talk about rights and lefts. Youโ€™re right so I left


Marriage is: Finding the one person to ANNOY for the rest of your life!


To some, marriage is a word. To others, a sentence.


When they bought a water bed, the couple started to drift apart.


Honeymoon: The holiday a man takes before he begins to work for a new boss.


When the TV repairman got married, the reception was excellent.


An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.


When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.


What do you call a melon thatโ€™s not allowed to get married? Cantelope.


Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe


To many girls think the word โ€˜marriageโ€™ has a nice ring to it.


Marriage is like a bar of soap. It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it!


Two nuclear technicians got married. She was radiant and he was glowing.


Two florists got married. It was an arranged marriage.


Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.


Two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.


When a psychic showed me the girl Iโ€™ll marry, it was love at second sight.


The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.


At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, โ€˜Arenโ€™t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?โ€™ The other replied, โ€˜Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.โ€™


After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, โ€˜You know, I was a fool when I married you.โ€™ The husband replied, โ€˜Yes, dear, but I was in love and didnโ€™t notice.โ€™


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.


A man inserted an โ€˜adโ€™ in the classifieds: โ€˜Wife wantedโ€™.ย  Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: โ€˜You can have mine.โ€™


When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.


Whatโ€™s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?ย About 30 pounds.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.ย  Second marriage is

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 26 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A piece of string walks into a bar...

A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The barman says, "I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve string in here". The string, without saying a word, walks outside where he proceeds to tie himself into knots and mess up his hair.

When he walks back in and asks for a beer the barman says, "Aren't you the piece of string that was just in here?โ€ "Noโ€, he answered, "I'm afraid not".

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Warcraft3_Rufus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DontFuckWithMyMoney
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Cosmetic Dadjoke

I was blathering on about eyeshadow to my mother and I said that I know way too much about makeup. She says it certainly seems that way.

Dad: "Don't believe a word she says, she's just making it up."

OH, DAD.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ScathachRises
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 26 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Two children are talking,

A: Meet my new born brother. B: Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name? A: I don't know. I can't understand a word he says.,

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Teachdis
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics โ€“ the only department of linguistics where itโ€™s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kieuk
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Don't try and dadjoke your angry dad.

Over the years my dad has done the very old, very lame "Hi _____, I'm Dad."
Today he got stuck in a ditch after sliding on some ice. Once home he looks angry so I said "Hey, you look pretty angry." He says "I'm pissed off." FINALLY. My moment has come, I will have the great pleasure of doing it, I open my mouth and these little words come out. "Hi I'm piss-" WHACK
He knew what was coming and wouldn't allow it.
TLDR; Don't dadjoke your dad when he's angry.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Faable1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 21 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My roommate hates me sometimes

My roommate isn't a fan of reading. "It's a waste of time," according to him, so he prefers movies. After finishing a movie today he told me it happened to be based on real events, saying he might have to look it up. The following was our IM.

Me: Neat, that sounds like a good read, yeah?

Roomie (b/c the movie had a sex scene): But words don't have tits, so there's one problem, lol

Me: Lord. Maybe you should try reading some smut sometime. It's puts on sunglasses titillating! Yyyyeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

Roomie: Guh. Awful

I think I owe him a pint, now.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MidtermMassacre
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 20 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dad just got my mom...

My mom is taking one of those online spelling quizzes and her mind just totally went blank with the word accommodate. When she usually asks for spellings she says the spelling she thinks and then says the word, so she says this to my dad and he says

"accommodate? I don't date commas."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SparkyyHD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 09 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My doctor told me this rash on my upper torso would disappear if I vent my frustrations.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ido22
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Ok guys, this is super serious.

SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the socks are coming off, the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really ruffles my jimmies. First of all, dad jokes CAN be lame, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child, then it was probably just a conversation, not a joke. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes, because children arenโ€™t allowed to make cheesy dad jokes. Ever. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a ritz cracker would understand it better. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my breast.

โ€”signed,

Moms.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Timmeh-toah
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 87
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Josvys
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A dadjoke set for the kindergarten crowd

If you ever end up having to entertain kids around kindergarten age (5 or 6 years old) here are some jokes you can use.

Write the letter Y on a board or piece of paper. Ask, "Can you tell me what this letter is?" and they'll say "Y", to which you respond, "Because I want to know how smart you are."

After a bit of back and forth you can look exasperated that they don't get it (when of course it is you who don't get it), then say, "Okay here's an easy one, can you tell me what this word is?" Write down the word NO and of course the kids will say "NO" and you can say, "You don't know what this word is?" or "You know what it is but you won't tell me?" Kids usually think it's hilarious that an adult can be this dense.

For kids who can spell words, you can use ones like "duck" and then when they say it you can duck as if something is coming at you.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dmethvin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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My sons first, solid dad joke/pun - I'm so proud.

My son is four. We do a lot of puns around our house and he has tried hard, but they don't really make sense. The other day I made a mistake and said, "Oh, crap!" He told me I shouldn't say that word and I agreed, but was frustrated because I made a mistake. A minute later:

"Dad! I have a joke for you!" "What's that, bud?" "What do you say when you make a mistake and have to throw it away?" "I don't know, what?" "Ohhh, SCRAP!"

I'm so proud.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 63
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SuccessiveApprox
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 25 2015
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