I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."
Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.
they are both empty rappers
A square dance
Every calculator counts.
It was Litter Ali, a work of art.
A few years ago, was playing a card game with my frisbee team. We were competing in a frisbee tournament for spring break, and we had discs lying all around the Airbnb we were sleeping in. After playing the first few hands, I realized I didn't know what to do with my old cards.
I asked my teammate where I should put my used up cards. They pointed to some cards lying in a frisbee.
It was a disc card, discard pile.
I guess I'll have to hide it somewhere else now.
Jake returns home after a long days work, finds the cupboards bare and thinks "that's strange we went shopping this week". He goes to the garbage can to find jars of peanut butter, yogurt, pill bottles, assorted food they've just bought discarded. He asks "Honey why is all the food in the garbage?" he finds her watching TV in the living room she says "Roger is dead", stunned he runs to the backyard to find their pet seal dead. He runs inside shocked and says "wow that's terrible, but why did you throw out all the food?!" she replies "They containers all said DO NOT USE IF SEAL IS BROKEN".
From a new deck of Rook cards I just purchased: Insert Discarded Joke Here
I recently came up with a joke about spheres, but decided to discard it since it was missing a point.
Rachel 2.0 from Blade Runner 2049 was discarded the moment she became too dull
Disposable Blade
I live on a sail boat and started what I thought would be a small project. I wanted to ensure that my toilet plumbing was working correctly before having a guest over so I turned on my macerator and began pumping clear water through the system to clean the toilet and clear the system completely. For those that don’t know, a macerator is basically a garbage disposal like you would have in your kitchen sink buttttt for your poop. It cuts up your poop and toilet paper so that it can be discarded over board in smaller pieces. Of course the pump wasn’t working correctly so I detached some plumbing, looked into the macerator motor and got way more into it than I had planned for. My guest was on her way and I didn’t want to necessarily tell her what I was dealing with because I didn’t want to gross her out. When she showed up I was just putting stuff away and had finished the project. Of course she asked what I was working on, I proclaim “ oh I just needed to deal with some shit” and left it at that.
Walking with my girlfriend, noticed a discarded soda can on the sidewalk.
"I hate people who litter! It's so trashy."
"...cute."
"Wh-- ...AUGHHH"
I walked around, picking up discarded bottle caps and put them on peoples knees and would just look at them and say "...Knee Cap."
And walk away.
