I caught my son chewing on an electrical cord...

so I had to ground him.

He's doing better currently.

And conducting himself properly.

👍︎ 9k
💬︎
👤︎ u/XIIXOO
📅︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
When I use electric clippers to trim my pubic hair

I really go balls to the Wahl

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Police are warning electric car drivers their cars have enough charge for the entire journey.

If you run out of electricity, you could be charged.

👍︎ 13
💬︎
👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Jun 17 2021
🚨︎ report
When people ask me if i've always been in the IT industry, i tell them "No, i used to be a diesel fitter."

"I worked at a factory that made women's undergarments, and i stood at the end of the line. Every time a pair came down, id put them on my head and say dees'l fit'r."

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/5L1mm
📅︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What thought popped into my Head when I mixed Water and Electricity?

A Shocking Realization

👍︎ 18
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I told my dad I was accepted as an electrical apprentice...

He was shocked!

👍︎ 21
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Five years back I couldn’t pay my electricity bill, those were the dark days of my life
👍︎ 16
💬︎
📅︎ May 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a dictator's least favourite electrical component?

A resistor.

👍︎ 59
💬︎
📅︎ May 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I bought an electric toothbrush.

It's like my acoustic toothbrush just a bit cooler.

👍︎ 54
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the only band you can listen to while doing electric work?

Lead Zeppelin

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/Rathabro
📅︎ May 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Electric cars can't get exhausted...

...but they can get wheely tired.

👍︎ 11
💬︎
👤︎ u/Advnchur
📅︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Generating all our electricity from solar power...

is not going to happen overnight.

👍︎ 24
💬︎
👤︎ u/jigsatics
📅︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I was putting a fork in an electric outlet.

What happened next, shocked me!

👍︎ 23
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Tesla to launch a new Electric lawnmower

I think it's gonna be called E-Lawn Musk.

👍︎ 14
💬︎
📅︎ May 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Today, I told my son about a book I was reading. It was on how to discharge electricity

He asked me for the name. I told him that the book was called

"Kil-a-watt"

👍︎ 5
💬︎
📅︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the perfect gift for an English lit / electrical engineering major with a lisp?

Othelothcope.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I came up with the top ten reasons you shouldn't pee on an electric fence...

(#1 will shock you!)

👍︎ 98
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
In college, my roommates and I were so broke that we couldn’t pay our electricity bill.

Those were the darkest days of our lives.

👍︎ 45
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife says I'm useless at fixing electrical appliances.

Well, she's in for a shock .

👍︎ 28
💬︎
👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Igloo 2: Electric Boogaloo
👍︎ 15
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...

...it would be called buttery.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/No152249
📅︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Dad, how do I catch electric eels?

Dad: Easy - you just throw a click bait into the water

Son: Got it. What's next?

Dad: What happens next will shock you

👍︎ 83
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Amazon are offering free fast delivery on every electrical transformer this week

Just search optimus prime

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ May 25 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife has been taking a course in advanced electrics and it's taken over her life. Everything she says these days concerns resistors, transformers, circuitry, voltage, ampage etc. All fucking day long, I've tried explaining to her it's driving a wedge between us, but she won't listen to reason.

She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Who can drink 2 litres of gasoline?

Jerry can

👍︎ 113
💬︎
👤︎ u/TheGasMove
📅︎ Jun 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do people in Africa only use electric cars?

Because they’re Mad-at-gas-cars

👍︎ 9
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Despite being an electrical engineer, my son couldn't fix the circuit

So I grounded him

👍︎ 44
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Helen Keller reads “Warning! Electric Fence!” in braille

“Well that’s not a good sign” she said

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/Akorical
📅︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
A jazz guitarist couldn’t play a gig at a venue that had only six electrical receptacles.

His equipment required a seventh cord.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between Taxes and Texas?

Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.

👍︎ 13k
💬︎
👤︎ u/labink
📅︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
The rather oppressive female mechanic was trying to sell me 5 new manual transmissions

Luckily, I managed to escape her clutches.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/jnolife
📅︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Growing up, there was a time my parents couldn't pay the electric bill.

It was the darkest day of my life.

👍︎ 12
💬︎
👤︎ u/elster000
📅︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
If Volkswagen makes a luxury electric car I want it to be called

Volt swaggin

👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Thousands of people have found the device that can cut their electric bills in half......

Scissors.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/denandbil
📅︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I caught my son chewing on electrical cords. /r/Jokes/comments/mmfkuv/…
👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/Rakeboiii
📅︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Ever since the power company shut off my electricity

I’ve been in a very dark place.

👍︎ 27
💬︎
👤︎ u/vagdryna
📅︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I just finished making a short film in Russia about Vin Diesel’s body double.

It’s considered a Vin nyet.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/Theeclat
📅︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Vin Diesel should commission a heraldic crest under his first name, a pair of snakes intertwined with fangs bared...

Vin's Shield: Vipers

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/Ranzear
📅︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
(true story) After having my son install an electric keypad deadbolt on the man door in my garage, my daughter says:

Dad, are you sure that new deadbolt was man-door-tory??

Making daddy proud.

👍︎ 18
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What would you call an electric train in Japan?

A Pikachu-chu.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/DENelson83
📅︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I just purchased an electric car.

Do I need a current license?

👍︎ 127
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who bought an electric car and got in a wreck just after he left the dealership?

He turned over a new Leaf.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/joepopp
📅︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I was putting a fork in an electric outlet. What happened next, shocked me!
👍︎ 10
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I caught my son chewing electrical chords, so I had to ground him.

He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

👍︎ 49
💬︎
👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I caught my son chewing on electrical cords.

So I had to ground him. He’s doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.

👍︎ 19k
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My son kept chewing on all the electrical chords we had set up for the holidays, so I grounded him...

He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly...

👍︎ 114
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.