I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Good morning everyone. I hope we have a nice melt up! Donβt care if I have XENE puts 25 strike November at 2.75β¦. Looks nice and green. Everything was against Chinese stocks, and I understand the danger as well. I have taken 2 losses in 2021 [SLQT, JOAN] and down on 25 stocksβ¦ of these 25 stocks half are Chinese! Thanx DIDI! Because we do not know when and if positive confidence is coming back, I have told some of my generals there is no need to buy the shares but buy leaps which are future calls bullish without laying out the cash. Options can be traded [oddly in 2020/2021] almost as liquid as stocks.. Not quite trading every penny but I have never seen anything close. I suggested leaps with actual dates on TIGR, BABA, VIPS, JD, PDD, BIDU! Now is the payoff baby! Want to sink $150 per share in BABA to make $1-3 dollars? 100 shares $15,000 or and make $100 to $300 or invest $1,000 in the Calls and make $300? About 2 weeks ago I did describe the BILL puts that went up 350% in 2 days!! CEI PUTS that went up 1,000% percent in under 24 hours!!! I did buy BILL puts they expired September 17th worthless and September 20th BILL announced they were printing shares and started to crash! My puts were 75 cents each expiring September and I could have paid $3 for a November dateβ¦ I did not do this because BILL over extended its rally. This was my first option in 4 years! I traded options since a kid and I was still accurate about 80% of the time, never yolo! I am right 98-99% on stocksβ¦..In any case this isnβt about me, it is about buying leaps when you have a company in positive/negative sentiment but you truly believe in the company without shelling out a lot of moneyβ¦ Do not be confused by GAMMA/VEGA/DELTA/THETA/RHO, because in 2020/2021 these terms do not mean the same anymore.. people are trading options and do not care about time/volatility/interestβ¦ they are gamblersβ¦ in any case the actual figures are estimates and worked well pre 2020 covid.
SBSW is on fire baby! Tons of the team are trading this everyday with me. They make money! They mine gold/silver, dividends 10+ %, buyback, strong earnings, no it wont go up 25-50% in a day and some/many new traders do not want to buy a stock up 2% a day⦠I even have generals who refuse to buy SBSW, CONN, CYH, TWI, NYMT.. and it is several traders not just 1⦠they have gotten used to throwing grenades and fast money, which is ok but you have to be willing to win or lose⦠I got a lot of messages on CEI⦠CEI/DATS movin
... keep reading on reddit β‘For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
BamBOO!
Theyβre on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Christopher Walken
Nothing, he was gladiator.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
