Donβt challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless youβre prepared for the reaper cushions.
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︎ Jan 24 2023
Request - Jokes about death
A beloved coworker that always had a dadjoke ready to go suddenly passed recently. Weβre ready to grieve him with dadjokes about death. Can your share yours?
I found this one today that I know he would have loved: I hope my coworker is cremated because itβll be his final chance to have a smokinβ hot body.
Edit: thank you everyone for the dadjokes. Many of these are absolutely dead-on!
If youβre the person at work that greets everyone and has a dadjoke or two, even if people usually groan, you are likely more loved than you know. Keep up the groans!
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︎ Oct 26 2022
Did you know Ancient Romans had four types of poison? Poisons I, II and III killed victims instantly upon contact. However, to make them scratch themselves to death...
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︎ Jan 09 2023
Never challenge death to a pillow fight
You wonβt be able to handle the reaper cushions
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︎ Dec 24 2022
What do you call a death match between E.T. and a nerd with no social skills?
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︎ Jan 22 2023
What is the leading cause of death for Egyptian cats?
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︎ Jan 14 2023
What did Admiral Ackbar say when the Death Star was blown up, following an epic battle between good and evil, redemption of the super villain and the reappearance of a mystical sage?
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︎ Jan 13 2023
Due to the Queenβs deathβ¦
All British music is now Royalty-Free.
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︎ Sep 08 2022
A student copied an essay on the Black Death from the Internet.
He was a bubonic plagiarist.
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︎ Dec 22 2022
Iβm so sorry, I crushed your chickpeas to death
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︎ Nov 06 2022
There was a macramΓ© artist who became entangled in their own creation, and strangled to death.
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︎ Jan 06 2023
A woman was on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
Judge asked, βFirst offender?β She says, βNo, first a Gibson! Then a Fender.β
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︎ Jul 20 2022
A judge is deciding who to sentence for the death of a matador.
The bull's in his court now.
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︎ Nov 26 2022
Surprisingly, the Incarnation of Death Itself owns lots of comfy furniture
I guess those are the unexpected reaper cushions
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︎ Dec 31 2022
When the ex-President's treason trial ended with a death by hanging sentence, what did he really begin to pray for?
π︎ 4k
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︎ Jun 16 2022
Explaining Christine McVie's death to my daughter
Me: Did you hear Christine McVie from Fleetwood Mac died?
Daughter: Yeah, I'm sad about it. Do you know what she died of?
Me: The article I read said she died after having a "short disease," so maybe it was dwarfism.
Daughter: I hate you.
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︎ Dec 01 2022
I've Learned What Comes After Death
Dictionaries really are a good source of information.
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︎ Jul 31 2022
I almost froze to death at -459.67Β° Fahrenheit
π︎ 4k
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︎ May 13 2022
Do you what to say on your death bed moments before you die?
"I dont know what happens after death but im dying to find out"
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︎ Oct 23 2022
What should you do if you get bitten by a death adder?
Get bitten by a death subtractor.
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︎ Nov 04 2022
Made a death costume for Halloween and won the best dressed prize!
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︎ Nov 05 2022
At the end of the trial, the convicted Mr. Potato Head was sentenced to death by guillotine.
He would soon be decapitatered.
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︎ Aug 13 2022
I almost choked to death on Italian foodβ¦
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︎ Sep 18 2022
Police are investigating the death of a man killed by a can of chickpeas.
It's likely a case of hummuscide.
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︎ Oct 10 2022
Grandpa Corn has one last request on his death bed.
π︎ 13
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︎ Oct 02 2022
Shortly before his untimely death, Barry White was collaborating with Boyz II Men to record songs about a popular fruit...
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︎ Sep 28 2022
Why didnβt Princess Leia simply email the Death Star plans to Obi Wan
The Jedi Code forbids attachmentsβ¦
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︎ Sep 12 2022
Until death do us part
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︎ Jul 17 2022
I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death.
The police are treating it as a hummuside
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︎ Jul 07 2022
The death star has an exhaust port about 2 meters in diameter.
That makes no sense... It's imperial.
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︎ Jul 21 2022
The hardest part about my grandmothers death?
Making it look like an accident.
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︎ Oct 05 2022
What do you call Emotional Baggage after someoneβs death?
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︎ Apr 02 2022
I was reading a tweet about how a girl thinks Angela Lansbury's death looks suspicious as a possible cause
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︎ Oct 11 2022
I like my coffee how I like my Death Stars
Big, on the dark side, and powerful enough to destroy a planet
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︎ Oct 08 2022
Little known fact, the death star was measured in feet...
Only because they wanted to use imperial units
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︎ May 04 2022
I commend anyone donating their organs after death.
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︎ Aug 23 2022
Which rock group has four men, one named George and another who was shot to death?
π︎ 7k
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︎ Nov 18 2021
What is the major cause of death in US?
dehydration, becasue they are not suppose to drink before 21
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︎ Aug 13 2022
The video records how a person called Terry got bitten to death by a vicious dog
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︎ Sep 27 2022
The Grim Reaper receives soft furnishings as punishment for causing death.
They're his reaper cushions.
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︎ Jul 27 2022
Death by pig would be classified as a sooie-cide
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︎ Jul 08 2022
Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight
Unless you're prepared for the Reaper cushions
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︎ Dec 13 2022
Donβt challenge death to a pillow fight.
Unless youβre prepared for the reaper cushions.
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︎ Nov 01 2022
Never challenge Death to a pillow fight,
Unless, your ready for the reaper cushions.
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︎ Aug 13 2022
Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you're prepared for the reaper cushions
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︎ Jun 08 2022
Never challenge Death to a pillow fight
You can't handle the reaper cushions
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︎ May 05 2022
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