What do you call a spider with outdated dance moves?

A dabby long legs

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akewlname
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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What technology does the Chinese Government use to determine which dance moves are appropriate and respectable?

Motion censors

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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Do you think 70's dance moves will ever come back into style?

Well...I know The Sprinkler will always come back around.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegoodsock
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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What's a cows favorite dance move?

The Milkshake!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZuperSean
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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What is Stephen King’s favorite dance move?

The Running Man

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anotherlame
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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What’s a magicians favourite dance move?

Abarca-DAB-ra

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_m1cr0w4v3_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
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What do you call a dinosaur that knows the latest dance move?

A flossoraptor

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ickyfeet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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What is the favorite dance move of locksmiths?

Pop & Lock.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wohf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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What is a deer with no eyes' favorite dance move?

A no-see-doe

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aveganzombie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2016
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If you were moving something illegal, and a cop caught you, but you started dancing....

Who 'bust a move'? You or the cop?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PacMook_Bro
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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I never know when I start dancing whether I'm going to drop down and do my signature move.

It's a split decision.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I asked my Dad if he could move because he was in front of the TV. He then starts dancing.
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/derpface135
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
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Are you taking people's temperature at your son's party?

Only if your dances moves are hot

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihatemycat92
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Can you tuna fish?

It’s this fun new dance move that is best when danced to the tune of phish!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trollfaceguy1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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My Irish Great Grandfather (from Kerry) told me this one in the pub a few months before he passed.

You know why our dancers don't move their arms when their dancing?

Their arms have been decommissioned.

Spat ma Guinness.........

RIP Finn you funny bastard.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seipounds
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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"Move"

Growing up if I ever asked my dad to move out of the way he would start dancing (moving) his body and not get out of the way. I hated it and eventually trained myself to never say the word "move" to my dad. Now that I'm married I can't help but to dance around when my husband asks me to move. The audible sigh he makes should be enough for me to stop but I can't.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/that_is_so_fetch
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2014
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Dadjoked while moving in

Helping my dad move in. One room had nothing in it yet, and was completely empty besides a nightstand and a painting of two bears dancing in a forest.

My dad walks in: "Wow, this room is too bare".

Me: stares Dad: "Two. Bear."

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ezrs158
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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Walking in a Public Place

When my dad is walking in a public place and him and another person (female) are walking towards each other, unsure if the other person is going to go left or right. So the two people awkwardly move from side to side several times before ultimately choosing a side to walk past the other person. My dad always smiles and says, "Well I enjoyed that dance."

He just makes an awkward situation more awkward.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goatpussy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2013
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Dadjoked the wedding photographer...

So I'm at a family wedding. The dance floor has been pretty quiet all night. It's getting late and a lot of people left already. For some reason, the DJ brings up YMCA and finally manages to get the remaining people going. By the time the Beejees come on with Stayin' Alive everyone is moving around, myself included, and there's a somewhat big group really going crazy and doing dance moves. The photographer gets real close and starts taking pictures. Then she leans over to me to talk, as I'm dancing with my girlfriend and one of her kids.

Photographer: "People suddenly really came to life, huh?"

Me: "Yes. This party is really... Staying alive."

Her groan was louder than the music.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TaTonka2000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2014
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On Dance Clubs.

I was working in the design studio with a bunch of other students. It's late and everyone is exhausted. A couple of the girls from my class start dancing and coming up with "new moves". Eventually they started giving their moves breakfast related names.

Girl 1: This is the scrambled eggs

Girl 2: And this one is called frying bacon.

Me: Wait, wait, wait... Can we open a bar and call it... The Breakfast Club?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mildlynegative
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2015
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What's a horse's favorite dance move?

The Neigh-Neigh

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skives47
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2017
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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