A daily pun thread
I propose we start a daily competition.
Each day the winner of the pervious days thread provides the word for the day.
Then you lovely lot will go off into reddit and try make the best pun around that word/phrase you can, and link your best result in that days thread. The comment with the most up votes wins for the day. Only one pun per account per day.
Ill start with a relatively easy one:
Pun
More daily puns from the Inversnecky Cafe in Aberdeen, Scotland.
On my pill bottle it says, "Take I pill daily and keep away from children."
Why!! What happens to children after I've taken my pill ?
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex
But my wife insists it's for Dyslexia
Given that a case of the sniffles means staying home from school, we give my daughter a daily allergy medicine. My wife was giving her breakfast before school, and when I walked out, I asked if she’d had her medicine yet.
My daughter said yes, and I replied, “So you’re de-Claritin that you’ve had it already?”
Peter Parker lost his photographer job at the Daily Bugle
Now he works in web development.
We draw puns for each other daily.
A legit conversation today with my 2 1/2 year old son as we do our daily stroll past a train station that for once, has no trains stationed...
Son: Daddy, where is Thomas?
Daddy: I don’t know, mate.
Son: He must be working from home today.
Is this his first dad joke?? Strange what they must be picking up from conversations. Got me good.
My 16 year old son spilled wine while I was doing my daily breathing exercises..
I give myself 30 minutes in my daily schedule to do abs.
I call that time period Crunch Time.
I'm so damn tired of these daily repetitive boring Herb jokes. Honestly..
Julie Andrews’ Daily Schedule: 1. Impersonate Homer Simpson 2. Read about bushcraft 3. Watch ludicrously silly play 4. Replace button on blouse 5. Start making coffee flavoured bread
D’oh, Ray Mears, Farce, Sew, Latte Dough.
From the daily sign of the El Arroyo restaurant in Austin TX
I almost missed my daily dough
A local man shows up to his local Starbucks for his daily cup of coffee.
“Grande macchiato with oat milk, please.”
The cashier started to process his order, until the man asked “Why are you wearing a surgical mask?”
“I’m not”, said the barista, “it’s a coughy filter”.
I don't get it (Puns Daily calendar)
My stoner friend used my daily agenda notebook to roll up a joint.
He is now high on my list of priorities.
What did the Minecraft developer say when he looked as his daily schedule?
This was an interesting pun from my daily life.
With daily practice, the lumberjack’s musical ability improved
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the Daily News! Get it?
Me neither, I get the Times.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
Here's Your Daily Dose Of Encourage Mint!
I eat a lot of salt, but the WHO suggests consuming 2,000 mg of sodium daily.
I don't know what a band knows about health, but I take it with a grain of salt.
There was a drug dealer who had conditioned his men such that whenever the clock struck 12 at midnight, they would come to him for their daily stash.
And he was known as Pavlov Escobar.
I would visit this restaurant on the daily
My very religious Aunt attends mass daily.
She says that's because missing church for seven days makes one weak!
How do one armed people go about the it daily routines?
A group of kindergarteners stand single file, anticipating their daily juice boxes.
I always wondered why my dog has to stop and sniff a ton of things for ages on our daily walks...
...and then it dawned on me she's just checking her peemail.
I suppose this morning's half-hearted squat to pee while moving was a reply-all.
I wish I had a dollar for every Dad joke, turn of phrase, or play on words I manage to rattle off on a daily basis.
You know what they say though, "Punny doesn't grow on trees..."
My dad used to get me and my little sister with this daily.
Before I could put my own shoes on I would always ask m dad for help and This was his response every damn time.
me "daddy can you put my shoes on please"
Dad. "I can but I don't think they will fit me"
Followed this my dad would laugh hysterically and me whining saying "Nooo on meeeeee".
I sing on a daily Bass-is
Out of 20 I’d say my singing level is like a tenor eleven.
I email my kids Dad jokes daily, but they never seem to respond.
They probably installed Dadblock Plus.
The motorists always got angry at the same place on their daily commute
This is what I have to deal with on a daily basis
After lunch, walking back to the office with two of my colleagues. One of them is carrying a lemon. The other one asks him: "Do you want me to help you with that lemon? So I could be your lemonaide"
sigh...
...Now guess which of the two is a dad
I've started writing my updates for my team's daily meetings in the form of a nineteen-line poem with two rhymes throughout, consisting of five tercets and a quatrain.
Alas, I'm not a very good poet.
In fact, my manager told me he's never seen such a wretched scribe of scrum and villanelle.
How much does an active woman need to eat daily?
Daily Special
Brexit tacos - leaves eu satisfied
Not a dad, but this happens daily in my physics class.
Me: Hey, what are the units for power?
Friend: Watt.
Me: I said, what are the units for power?
Friend: Watt.
Me: No, I said what are the units for power?
Friend: JOULES PER SECOND
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.
My wife insists that it's dyslexia.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
