David Hasselhoff walked into a bar and ordered a drink.
βItβs a pleasure to serve you, Mr. Hasselhoffβ, said the bartender.
βJust call me Hoffβ, he replied.
βSureβ, said the bartender, βno hassleβ.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Aug 01 2020
David Tennant recently got into renting out houses
Now he is David lanndlord
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
I Figured out the secret chord that David played!
π︎ 70
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︎ Oct 19 2020
My friend David lost his ID during a trip.
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 27 2020
Daughters boyfriend introduced himself to me he said "Hi sir I'm david, nice to meet you".
He put out his hand and I said "David are you nervous?" He said no so I grabbed his hand looked him in the eyes and said "then why are you shaking?"
π︎ 28k
π
︎ Mar 07 2020
My uncle smokes and loves David Bowie:
We call him Ciggy Stardust.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
It occurred to me today that I would have loved to see two of my favorite bands from the 90s, led respectively by David Usher and Gavin Rossdale, on the same ticket. The sign on the theatre would have been epic.
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Doctor: Relax, David. Itβs just a small surgery, donβt panic.
Me: my name isnβt David.
Doctor: I know. Iβm David.
π︎ 949
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︎ Jul 12 2020
My buddy David has his ID stolen
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
Someone stole my friend David's ID
π︎ 95
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︎ Aug 24 2020
In a recent interview with David Draiman a reporter commented on his remarkable quarantine weight gain.
Disturbed's lead singer just laughed like a monkey and said he was "down with the thiccness."
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 08 2020
My nameβs David, but my Chinese friends call me Dawei.
I guess thatβs just dawei it is.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jul 29 2020
I finally figured out why David Hasselhoff changed his name to The Hoff.
π︎ 513
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︎ Jan 23 2020
"Bowl of Chocolate Mousse" by David Gilhooly, 1989
π︎ 29
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︎ Oct 11 2019
There's a lot of talk about zamboni driver David Ayres getting a once-in-a-lifetime win, but I don't think we've seen the last of him in the NHL.
/r/hockey/comments/f8c0jhβ¦
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 23 2020
What does Craig David announce when he does a pyjama wash?
"This one goes out to all the P-P-Js"
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 12 2020
My friend David lost his ID...
Now he is no longer instinctual, with only his super-ego left. Is this a psycho-babble joke? Yes, I'm a-Freud so.
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 11 2020
What was David Bowieβs favourite Christmas dessert?
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 28 2019
Pink Floyd's "The Gnome" and David Bowie's "The Laughing Gnome" were released within a month of each other.
It was bignomeial.
Courtesy of my dad.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 26 2019
Iβm looking for punny popsicle names. Iβd like them to be a play on actual names like Pop Ross, Mary Pop-pins, Pop Seger, Albert Ice-stein, Freezy F Baby, David Pop-perfield, and Iggy Pop. Iβm particularly interested in playing upon the names of historical female figures. Help please and thank you!
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 18 2019
A student visits the principalβs office one day and the principal says to him, βWhatβs your name, son?β He replies, βD-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.β The principal looks up and asks him, βOh, do you have a stutter?β
The student replies, βNo sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was an asshole.β
π︎ 73
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︎ Jun 15 2019
Did you know Bing Crosby gave David Bowie a pom pom for Christmas?
And not just any old pom pom but a proper pom pom!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 16 2019
My uncle smokes and loves David Bowie:
We call him Ciggy Stardust.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
My mate David had his ID stolen...
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
My buddy David had his ID stolen.
π︎ 80
π
︎ Jun 18 2020
My friend David lost his ID.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
My friend David had his ID stolen.
Now we just call him Dav.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
My friend David lost his ID...
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 05 2020
I refer to David Hasselhoff as "The Hoff"
It's less of a hassel π
π︎ 270
π
︎ Sep 17 2019
My friend David lost his id.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Apr 02 2020
Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague?
Now we just have to call him Dav.
π︎ 91
π
︎ Nov 07 2019
My uncle David just lost his wallet and phone and ID.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 11 2020
David Hasselhoff has started to refer to himself as Hoff.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Feb 03 2018
Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague?
Now we just have to call him Dav.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Nov 15 2019
My mate David has his ID stolen
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 09 2020
My friend David had is ID stolen
π︎ 23
π
︎ Nov 19 2019
My friend David had his ID stolen
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 17 2019
My friend David lost his ID...
π︎ 74
π
︎ Oct 15 2019
David lost his ID...
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 09 2019
My friend David lost his ID...
π︎ 18
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︎ Sep 21 2019
My friend David just lost his ID.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 17 2019
Your uncle David just lost his ID
Now you can call him uncle Dav.
π︎ 93
π
︎ May 11 2019
"Hi my name is David and i lost my ID...
... I guess you can call me Dav now."
π︎ 44
π
︎ May 12 2019
Did you head that David got his ID stolen ?
We have to call him Dav now .
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 25 2019
Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague?
Now we just have to call him Dav.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 14 2019
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