Cap’n Crunch and Tony the Tiger are getting married next month.

Don’t laugh, this is cereal.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StankleyTucci
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I just heard that Snap, Crackle & Pop, Tony the Tiger and Capn Crunch have all been killed.

Sounds like the work of a Cereal Killer.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Red-Beaulieu
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I like Synonym Toast Crunch.

It's tasty. And yummy as well.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tafkat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
They found the murderer of Captain Crunch.

It was a cereal killer.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thefrayedfiles
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I heard that the Cap’n Crunch guy pranked the Froot Loops guy.

It’s ok, Toucan play that game.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shartnado3
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
When they crunch the numbers, shouldn’t they get smaller?
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DavidBlackledge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Captain Crunch is a pirate

So he has probably killed people

Making him a Cereal Killer

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/N00BM4ster69-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
People only trust high ranking navy sailors. for instance there's Captain Morgan rum, Captain crunch cereal.... You never see seamen crunch!
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sisterblisterblob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s Captain Crunch’s favorite exercise?

Sit-ups.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Onna_Beach
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I finished off a box of Cheerios at breakfast, a box of Lucky Charms at lunch, and a box of Captain Crunch at dinner.

I’m a real cereal killer.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gecko_echo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you get ahold of Captain Crunch?

His cereal number.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the opposite of cinnamon toast crunch?

Antonym toast crunch

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dark_Devin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2017
🚨︎ report
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.

They are looking for a cereal killer.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Oh no! Captain crunch is dead!

He was murdered by a cereal killer.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Marraqueta_Fria
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did Captain Crunch get arrested?

Pirating serials!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LichLand
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
After doing my morning crunches, I ate an entire pizza.

I consider it an act of abnegation.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigMacAttack14
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
🚨︎ report
My priest prescribed a circuit of crunches, flutter kicks, bicycles, and plank holds for the guilt I confessed about neglecting my stomach muscles during workouts.

I finally received my abs solution.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterPlumbean
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
We grew up SO POOR I drank Nurse Pepper...

...she was an LPN.

We had a Don't Bother Checking account.

My first pet only had 3 legs, and it was a centipede.

Mom had one bra, and it was a lease.

For breakfast we ate Lieutenant Crunch.

My first spoon was monogrammed though ("1/2 TSP").

We were too poor to even say "awesome." We had to say "awefew."

We sat at the campfire and made S'Lesses.

My pillow only had one side.

Repossession was 9/10 of the law.

Five kids had to share one shoelace, and instead of toenails we grew toe staples.

Our scotch tape was scots-irish.

(I'm allowed)

My first shower came with sound effects and a lightshow.

One year Santa had to bring stockings.

The next year he filled them with nooses.

I did have a jumprope with a rattle on the end. And fangs on the other.

Other kids hunted eggs for Easter but we just died.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_YOUR_BLOOMERS
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Guys, today I created the perfect sandwich!

Dutch crunch, ham, turkey, provolone, tomato, sprouts, and honey mustard.

Oh, sorry, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fatkidskinnyjeans
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
People that do a lot of crunches go through a lot of abuse.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/surgicalfunnel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Which holiday character can do the most crunches?

The abdominal snowman!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My 5 yr old girl told her first dad joke today: "Dad look what happened to my tooth!" Smiles and has a disgusting mouthfull of crunched up nachos.

"It's chipped!" Tears of pride and joy

πŸ‘︎ 113
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simmsnation
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Who is captain crunches supervisor ?

GENERAL MILLS

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jediesel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2015
🚨︎ report
I maintain my stomach tone by doing as many crunches as I can, every single day.

(Usually either Nestle or Captain)

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NeverBob
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What is an English teacher's favorite cereal?

synonym toast crunch

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhamboyYT
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Sit-ups and crunches are classic forms of abuse
πŸ‘︎ 116
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CNYguy82
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2016
🚨︎ report
As part of my new religion, gluttony shall be given a penance of crunches.

Finally sinners will achieve absolution.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyspaereunia
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
You know about the weird guy who did very few crunches at the gym?

He was pretty abnormal.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TacoNumeroJuan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the shark eat the ship?

...It wanted captain crunch for breakfast.

My 12 year old daughter hit me with this one this morning.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fyrefrog25
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I did a bunch of crunches today..

Nestle and Cap N.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BreakBeatJumpUp
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
🚨︎ report
(White)Bored at work
πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/olive-bernie
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the kids eat their homework?

The teacher said it was a piece of cake.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AUTOSHAWT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Obituary for the Pillsbury Dough Boy, Pop N Fresh

The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyes_and_teeth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Pun with numbers
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Igknightor1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
She does 100 sit-ups and 100 crunches everyday!

She's so hard-core.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RichNCrispy
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the herb farmer say when he was running behind schedule?

We’re in a thyme crunch

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSquirrelyOne_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried juggling some candy bars but kept dropping them.

I have Butterfingers.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bhjeff
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Not on my watch!
πŸ‘︎ 300
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BanAllPineapples
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I give myself 30 minutes in my daily schedule to do abs.

I call that time period Crunch Time.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lol_u_ded
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the potato chip working really hard?

Because it was crunch time

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FaceForward1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My Cat hasn't been well lately

... She's recovering from a massive Stroke.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
In college, I double-majored in accounting and dentistry...

Now I can crunch numbers AND numb crunchers.

πŸ‘︎ 348
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rowanowski
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who likes anime and eats one type of cereal?

An oataku.

πŸ‘︎ 409
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Moral of the story: living well is the best revenge

Once upon a time, there was a small desert village with a single well on the outskirts of the town. One morning, a woman went to the well to fetch water for the day. The lady was crying and the well heard this. A voice came from the well and asked β€œwhat’s wrong?”

The lady stopped sobbing and asked the well, in utter disbelief, β€œyou can talk?”

β€œYes” the well said, β€œlong ago, the witch living in this town gave life to me so I could protect the towns people”

β€œAlas” the woman said, β€œI am the daughter of that witch. She lived in peace with the town for many years, but the new mayor, who is a violent and hateful man, riled the townspeople up against her. The town burnt my mom at the stake! I am still young and do not know much magic. I tried to curse the town, but failed, and now I fear I may never avenge my mother.”

β€œDo not be afraid” the well said, β€œI will take care of this.”

The next morning the mayor was going to the well to fetch water when he heard an odd noise. He peered over the edge to look down as far as he could when an impossibly long arm shot up at him. The arm grabbed the mayor and dragged him down into the depths of the well. There was a horrible crunching sound and the mayor was never seen again. The townsfolk apologized to the witch’s daughter and everyone lived happily ever after.

See moral above for the pun...

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ManGood2002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What's Conan's favorite cereal?

Cimmerian Toast Crunch.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FourthSalty
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Who shot Captain Crunch?

A cereal killer.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeBurge
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Captain Crunch in jail?

Because he was a cereal killer.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cromosapien
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I do crunches every morning...

Captain.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Futureman16
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.