Solar powered clippers attached to a drone that I can program to do most of my landscaping.
It’s real Cutting Hedge Technology.
Is that how you get your electrolytes?
Horse radish.
Seems like a great place for criminal records.
everything was going well until the housewarming party
Unless my friends like it, then I guess it's cool
I'll tell you later.
Me: You've heard of Murphy's Law, right?
Mum: Yeah.
Me: What is it?
Mum: It's to do with bad luck.
Me: Cool, have you heard of Cole's Law?
Mum: No. What is it?
Me: It's thinly sliced cabbage
My dad worked in construction for most of his life, and because he worked with his hands, he sacrificed many watches. But if you don't have a watch, how are you to tell time? My dad has a great sense of humor and is always thinking of new ways to do things to make them more practical or thinking of ways to change things to make them work better for him. So after spending way too much money on a heavy duty watch that inevitably broke on him, he came up with a better solution.
He used the working part of a clock and stuck it on the inside rim of his hat, so if he wanted to know what the time was, he just had to look up. Simple. And the way his hat was, you couldn't see the clock when looking at him unless you were underneath him and looking up.
And then came the funny part. Every time he was asked what time it was, he would look up at the sun, scan the horizon, pretend to do a math equation in his head, and tell them the exact time down to the minute. I've witnessed him doing this a few times but never gave it away. The look of surprise and confusion this gave people was priceless.
My dad had done other funny things like this, but this was by far the funniest.
So i packed up my stuff and right
(noun) A hand gesture used by a midget as a greeting.
Cool, that midget over there just gave me a microwave!
^{Source: ^Bullwade ^Anguish ^Dictionary}
I asked two friends for the best pun Bond would utter if he'd just shoved a bad guy into a huge industrial deep-fat fryer. Their responses were:
Friend #1: "Play with fryer, get burnt.
(Isn't there an old saying of don't play with fire unless you want to get burnt?)"
Friend #2: "Why is my instinct to say cool off there?
Let's assume it's christmas. 'Thats a real Crisped Kringle' is what I'd say
Or do I know the guy's dad? Let's say I do. 'Youre a chip of the old block'"
I know, I need new friends. Do me a favour redditors and please tell me whose pun is least awful? And if you have any better ones, I'm all ears! (Mine was "Thank God it's fry day", I'm sure you can all do better).
He drank it before it was cool!
(My old Language Arts teacher said this.)
"He really had a cool head."
He ate his food before it was cool
It was a cool ant.
since he lived on the earth before it was cool.
Can't wait to see his face light up, when he opens it.
He says "what do you call it when an environmentalist sets a forest on fire?"
She says "I don't know."
He says "Treeson." The girl laughs
He follows saying "Yknow, if you'd like more of these jokes, I got them from a cool source if you're interested."
The girl says "Yes, I'm interested."
The boy then replies "Good to know SOMEONE is interested in me."
They were there before it was cool.
It said it was lava before it was cool.
“This takes me back.”
That was some cool shit!
It was a cool singles bar.
He's the new temp. Seems like a cool guy.
Because I might vote for it...
You're too cool for her
They deemed it cool and amusable pun-ishment
But actually they're pretty cool
Well that's pretty cool!
Son: “I hate crumbs.”
Me: “That’s not cool. Crumbs never did anything to you.”
Son: “Well I don’t want to eat them.”
Me: “And they don’t want to eat you.”
Son: “Crumbs can’t eat anything, Dad. They don’t have a mouth and they can’t swallow things inside them.”
Me: “What if there’s a river of crumbs going into the ocean and a duck lands on them and it’s like quicksand so the duck gets swallowed up at the mouth of the river of crumbs? I’d say it just got eaten.”
Son: “And I’d say you’re ducking weird.”
It's way too cool for me
What a cool way to go!
...on one hand, you wear a super cool ring, on the other hand, you don’t
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
He ate pizza before it was cool
He ate the pizza before it was cool
