Computer desk Puns

http://i.imgur.com/EDbzzlW.jpg

She said “Adele was a good person to work for, but we had problems with her computer desk. I put it on one side of the room, and Adele got pretty angry.”

She said Adele replied “No! I want to play Halo from the other side”

... "Please help me! My electron has been stolen!" The desk officer looks up from his computer and asks: "Are you positive?"

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who’s on first?" might have turned out something like this:

Bud Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

Lou Costello: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

Bud Abbott: Mac?

Lou Costello: No, the name’s Lou.

Bud Abbott: Your computer?

Lou Costello: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

Bud Abbott: Mac?

Lou Costello: I told you, my name’s Lou.

Bud Abbott: What about Windows?

Lou Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

Bud Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?

Lou Costello: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

Bud Abbott: Wallpaper.

http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/abbott-and-costello-meet-microsoft-windows/

I didn't even mean to make a dad joke, apparently after seven years of being a dad, it just starts to happen.

I was installing some shelves up on the walls over my computer desk. Having just finished marking the walls where I was going to insert the screws, I was now installing the brackets onto the boards.

From behind me, I heard my wife say, "How's it going?"

Me: "Well, it's shellfish."

Wife: "It's what?"

Me: "Shellfish. I'm still putting the mounting brackets on, so it's not a shelf yet. It's shelf-ish. Shellfish."

At least my daughter thought it was funny.

Help-desk : double click on “My Computer”. Lady : I can’t see your computer.. Help-desk : No .. Click on “My Computer” on your computer. Lady : How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ??? !! Help-desk : There is an icon labelled “My Computer” on your computer .. double click on it. Lady : What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?

So we walk into a car shop to get some wiper blades and go up to the cashier's desk to ask for help. The cashier asks as a joke whether dad broke his computer (I guess it wasn't working? ). Dad responds "I've been told I have a magnetic personality". Brilliant.

So there's two day traders looking at the commodity stocks for office supplies on their computer. "What's the movement on desks and chairs?" asks the first stockbroker.

"Um, that's moving up," says the second. "We should get into it."

"Okay what about stocks for desktop computers? Are they moving?" says the first.

"Yep, they're dropping," says the second. "We've got to sell that off."

"Okay what about paper? Is that moving?" says the first.

"Paper? No," says the second. "Paper is stationery."