Common sense Puns

Icy dead people.

They're invisible

Pi. It’s irrational.

That's broken logic if you ask me

I guess I'm just not that intuit

Son (6 years old): Daddy, how many senses do we have?

Me: We have 5 senses.

Son: No, daddy, 6: a sense of smell, a sense of taste, a sense of touch, a sense of see, a sense of hear, and [with a big smile] a sense of humour.

This way I can’t be accused of lacking common sense.

I was so proud of my own dad joke, I still remember this 20 years later.

My family was at a food court with lots of options so we all wanted to get different things. My dad opened his wallet and said to me, "Do you think you can eat on $5?"

To which I replied, "I'd prefer a plate, but I guess I could give it a try."

Given that I'd learned to dad joke from my dad, he smirked at me with what I knew to be pride.

Because it was common sense.

That's common sense leaving your body.

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

• Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
• It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
• What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
• Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
• Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
• Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
• If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
• Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
• Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
• American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
• The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
• Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
• Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
• Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
• Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
• Rittal me this, Batman!
• Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
• Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
• If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
• When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
• You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
• Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
• Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
• Don't think Seton is

Icy dead people

Icy Dead People.

"Icy" Dead People

Icy dead people

Icy dead people.

Icey dead people

"Icy" Dead People

Icy dead people.

Icy dead people.