Descartes Puns

René Descartes in the afternoon: “I think, therefore I pm.”

“I think I’m sick, there for I am”

The bartender asks Smith if he wants a martini; he says "I think so." The bartender then asks Descartes if he'd like a martini as well, and Descartes says "I think not"...

...and then he disappeared

(Courtesy of my history teacher)

He disappeared

"I stink, therefore, I am."

Alternatively: what did Descartes say after becoming an alcoholic? "I drink, therefore, I am."

The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by René Descartes.

But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.

Chardonhay... 🤦🏻‍♂️

After all, you can't put Descartes before the horse.

When he’s finished, the barkeep asks if he wants another. The horse replies, “I don’t think I do...” and vanished from existence.

To get the joke, you need to know Rene Descartes’ theory “I think, therefore I am.” But if I explained that before the joke, I would be putting Descartes before de horse.

<Staring into the crowd like Fozzie Bear>

... I’ll show myself out.

The barkeep says, "You're in here pretty often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic"

The horse replies, "I don't think I am," and vanishes from existence. See, the joke is about Descartes' famous philosophy of 'l think; therefore, I am", but to explain that part before the rest of the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse.

But I said I Kant.

Who’s there? Descartes. Descartes who? Don’t put Descartes before the horse.

A man decides to see if he can teach his horse to read. He starts with fiction and finds that the horse actually enjoys it. He then works his way through non-fiction, suspense and fantasy, all with favorable results. However, when he tries philosophy the horse rears and kicks and destroys the stable, proving once and for all...

Never put Descartes before the horse.

Don't put Descartes before de horse.

...although René might Descart his.

The bartender says "You know, you're in here pretty often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?"

The horse says "I don't think I am..." and promptly vanishes from existence.

See, this was a joke about Descartes' famous line from philosophy, "I think, therefore I am."

But if I had explained that before the rest of the joke, it would have been putting Descartes before the horse.