Teacher : βCan you list the 10 Commandments in any orderβ
Johnny: β3, 5, 6, 1, 8, 9, 2, 4, 10 and 7β
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 14 2017
How did the Jewish people learn the Ten Commandments?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 13 2017
My daughter came home from school and asked me, dad, what are the ten commandments?
I said, salt vinegar pepper mustard....
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 09 2017
What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
What do you call a commander in Mcdonalds army?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
Did you know you can change the breed of your poodle by teaching it to giggle on command?
It will change the breed of your dog into a snicker-doodle.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 05 2020
Youβll likely get this if you watched Russell Crowe in Master and Commander...
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 25 2020
"Plagiarism squad reporting for duty"
π︎ 75
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
What did the russian commander say to his troops?
"We're late, stop Stalin, Putin some effort."
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 06 2020
Why was the captain of the USS Roosevelt relieved of command?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 03 2020
We got a new dog at the weekend, he only obeys commands in Spanish....
π︎ 32
π
︎ Aug 20 2019
[OC] The Final, Most Essential Command
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 01 2019
I had the pleasure of serving under one of the calmest commanders in the US Army
General Anesthesia always helped put internal disputes to bed.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 17 2020
Did you hear about the Native American cook who rose up to become second in command at Bobby Flay's restaurants?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 22 2019
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
Sorry guys, a bit corny that one.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 30 2019
Where are our desssssks
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Apr 28 2019
What did the German commander say to the ticking clock?
Ve haf vays and means of making you tock.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 18 2019
Which day of the year commands you to do something?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 05 2019
What do you call the head coach of the Kansas City football team?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
What is a dancer's favorite video game series?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
What do you call a robotic dog, that take commands through bluetooth?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Nov 27 2018
There's no escape
π︎ 3k
π
︎ May 28 2019
It's true! The Clinton Administration's second in command DID invent the internet!
Look at any web page's source and you will see an Al Gore-ithm
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 20 2018
Why couldnβt the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldnβt get any up-boats
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 08 2019
What did commander broccoli say to Sargent potato when he discovered that he was leaking information to the enemy?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 09 2018
Why will button controlled remotes always be better than voice command?
π︎ 167
π
︎ Feb 26 2018
Todayβs Command Day
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 04 2019
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 25 2018
i need dad jokes for my discord bot
well i made a discord bot and i added a dadjoke command.
welp nobody was enjoying the lack of dad jokes.
any one got some good dad jokes?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
In the future...
In 1,000 years, snails will evolve into being an advanced civilization. They will develop their own advanced technologies. In an effort to increase their mobility, they will equip their shells to be modular vehicles called Snail Cars, S-Car for short. Since snails do not have upper extremities, controlling the cars will be voice activated. The initiation command would be, "S-Car, GO!" ππ€£
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
I had to highlight this gem from r/Skyrim
π︎ 60
π
︎ Dec 29 2019
Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
But that tablet only had 10 commands.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
Son: dad, what does it mean to be a man? Dad: It means to be the one that command! To be the one that take all the decisions at home.
One day I want to be a man like mom :)
π︎ 27
π
︎ Mar 28 2018
What do you call a commanding officer whose briefings always put you to sleep?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 16 2018
What do you call the pocket change of a ship's commander?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 25 2018
How many ears does Commander Spock have?
Three: the left ear, the right ear and the final frontier!
π︎ 67
π
︎ Aug 18 2016
That was gneiss of him
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Sep 10 2018
What is a Nazi's favorite keyboard command?
π︎ 39
π
︎ Nov 23 2016
I met a dog recently that could only understand commands in Spanish.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 03 2018
A nervous soldier had jumped from a helicopter. He Radioed to his commander: "Are you sure these parachutes are safe?"
The commander chuckled, reassuring the solider. "We've had no complaints about them."
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 27 2017
My dog only listens to commands in Spanish.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 15 2019
My dog only understands commands in Spanish..
π︎ 84
π
︎ Feb 16 2018
My dog only responds to commands spoken in Spanish...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 23 2018
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
