Color Pun Riddles

Q: What do you do if a piece of purple fruit gets stuck in the drain and clogs it?

A: Call the plumber.


Q: What do you do if you live in a purple house and the lights go out?

A: Go to the fuchsia box.


Q: What do you do with unruly green kids?

A: Make them do limeout.


Q: Why did the purple family have to move out?

A: They were plum too loud, excessively violet with one another, and were fuschiatives of the law.


(I've posted these on various places on the web outside of Reddit over the years under various screen names.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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I need help with a pun for "maroon"

My team color is maroon and we need a team name! Color puns are desired

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmygreen717
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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Why are camels sand colored?

camelflage

πŸ‘︎ 231
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kvnhntn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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What’s it called when a chameleon cannot change colors anymore?

Reptile dysfunction

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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A cats favorite color is...

Yellow, because they certainly seem to color the furniture in it a lot.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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What color is the wind??

Blew!

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ab1113
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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What's Helen Keller's favorite color?

Corduroy.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyBob_TX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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How does a color laugh?

Hue Hue Hue.
edit: im dumb

πŸ‘︎ 163
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ineedapapaya
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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My favorite colors are red, green, and blue.

They are the only colors I see.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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What color is your Afghan?

My Afghanistan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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A painter forgets to paint the trim a different color.

The home owner comes out and says β€œThat’s all white.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karrathan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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The hardware store just told me they didn’t have any intermediate paint colors between green and violet.

That was out of the blue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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More (mediocre) OC in honor of a woman who lived a bright and colorful life. We will miss you, RBG.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeeveryoneup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/august-sage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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My least favorite color is purple

I hate it more than blue and red combined

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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America: color

England: colour

America:humor England:humour

America: flavor England: flavour

England: what are you doing? America: I’m just getting rid of u

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πŸ‘€︎ u/levonsafaryan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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What is blue in color and not much heavy?

Light blue

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_clickhere_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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What does the color blue do when it's done using the computer?

It'll cyan out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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What color is an old platypus?

Perrywrinkle!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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What is a doctor's favorite color?

#CLEAR!!!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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What is the Easter Bunny’s favourite color?

Eggwhite

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robindc_93
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Last night, I had a dream that I had discovered a new color.

But it just turned out to be a pigment of my imagination.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Long-Afternoon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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What's Cardi B's favorite color?

OCHRE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jemminger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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How does Bono spell Color..?

..With Or Without u.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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I applied a red food coloring to my sheep.

It dyed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOnlyShyG
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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I’ve decided to put an end to color-based segregation in my household...

...however my wife disagrees, and is no longer letting me use the washing machine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eagle4523
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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How do you color a cactus?

With a Sharpie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gngwarlord
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeusJZ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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I've just been diagnosed as color blind

It really came out of the purple

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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What color are military submarines?

Deep navy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keyseymoney
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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Did you hear about the guy who went into the Everglades, found this huge sea-cow thing and beat it to death with the oar of his boat?

They're prosecuting him for crimes against a manatee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fitz_cuniculus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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The guy who colors the cloth quit my uncle's factory without warning.

My uncle's in dyer need.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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What did the first person in a colored photo say?

Color me impressed!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Icystuff
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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It has actually been confirmed in a recent Batman comic that Robin's dick has no color at all.

Dick gray, son!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRedBlade
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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I just found out that I'm color blind.

The news came completely out of the green.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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Vermeer was eerie, Vermeer was strange, he had his own color range imgur.com/gallery/NG4f9NU
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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Pretty sure I just discovered a new color that’s not on the color wheel -

Though it could just be a pigment of my imagination.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_-SLAYER
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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Breaking News: In the Atlantic Ocean a ship carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying purple paint

It’s believed both crews have been marooned

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simfy44
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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What's an Eskimo's favorite color?

I dunno, Alask-em

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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I tried looking at the world through rose colored glasses

Unfortunately, it just made the world cold and gray...

That’s when I finally realized I’m colorblind

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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Colors
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bongnazi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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How can colors be used to predict the weather?

By their huemidity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coop620
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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What's a fish favorite color?

Deep blue

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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I love people of all colors!

If that makes me a chromosexual, then be it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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Have you heard about the new book by Rubik's Cube inventor ErnΕ‘ Rubik?

It's full of twists and turns.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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What do you call a respectable color changing lizard?

A stand-up chameleon.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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What do you call a rainbow of 50 colors?

50 shades of gay

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Draykonslayer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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What do you call a color that doesn't exist?

A pigment of your imagination.

πŸ‘︎ 141
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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Did you hear about the artist that has been drawing very small, colorful noodles?

He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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well color me impressed
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/suisimon20
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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TIL the color magenta doesn't exist, it is your brain trying to make sense of your red and blue cones activating while the green is inactive.

Turns out, it's a pigment of your imagination

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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We were learning about politics and discrimination in class. Our teacher told us to grab colored pencils.

He then corrected himself. What he meant to say, was pencils of color.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Sparky_
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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My favorite color is ultraviolet...

It glows with everything.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sockyg
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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I lost my mood ring today.

I don't know I feel about it.

πŸ‘︎ 121
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ima420r
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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I only believe in 12.5% of the Bible.

I guess that makes me an eighth-theist.

πŸ‘︎ 802
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kikasphalt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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I told my friend I don’t see color. He was shocked and said,”But you’ve known me for forever and you’re saying you don’t know I’m black?” Then I said,

β€œI don’t know man, you look kinda gray to me.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ApUmKinFaCe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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What color are a smoker's lungs?

Toblacko

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/augsburg71
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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What do you call a color infection?

Crayola virus

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Horses77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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I met a Mexican fellow that always seemed very pale, as tho drained of color...

He's wan.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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I bought my wife one of them new wireless mouse chargers.
πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ErockLobster
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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These vegetables are colored green. google.com/search?q=colla…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PS4_noobmaster69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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Why don’t you ever hear a pterodactyl urinate?

Because the pee is silent....

Credit my buddy Cameron.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/witty-repartay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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What’s the best color in the entire world?

Hy-purple-y!

Made up by my 7-year old daughter. So proud

Edit: should have spelled it hy-purple-e

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beetlebath
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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I swear I just thought of a new color

Or maybe it was just a pigment of my imagination

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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The Letdown

A high schooler wants to ask his best female friend to prom. Because they’ve been friends for so long, he really wants to make his β€œpromposal” special. He talks to his friends, he talks to her friends, and spends days planning the perfect moment. Happily, she says yes!

Over the next couple of months, she sends him different styles and colors of ideas for her dress. He tells honestly that she’s always been beautiful to him, and privately to himself, he is now realizing he has strong feelings for her. He knows he needs to tell her.

The night of the prom, he’s extremely anxious. What if he says something stupid? What if she laughs at him or doesn’t return his feelings? What if she thinks he’s a terrible dancer? All of these thoughts are swirling around in his mind as both their parents fuss over them and make them pose for a million photos.

They get to the prom and he’s even more anxious. It’s dark, it’s loud, it’s crowded. They have to shout to be heard. But she grabs his hand, leads him to the dance floor, and they forget everything and everyone around them. A while later, as the songs have gotten slower, he can feel his heart pounding. He thinks it’s finally the right time. He leans down and whispers the truth in her ear, the truth about having loved her since they met in second grade. She starts to cry happy tears, saying she’s always loved him too, and they kiss. As the song ends and changes to something fast again, he asks her if she’d like to sit and have a drink. She says yes, could he please get her some punch?

He feels like he’s walking on clouds as he goes over to where the drinks and food are laid out. He wants to get back to her right away and hopes he doesn’t have to wait too long at the refreshments table.

He makes his way through the crowd, and is able to get their drinks and return to his waiting love within just a couple of minutes. Because, would you believe it?

There was no punch line.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrsBunnyPants26
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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Or just straight up color
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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My son told me he didn’t want to color anymore.

I asked him why, he says β€œI don’t wanna get crayola virus”.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theoverseer20
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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I always wear different colors of Haynes socks

bc their comfort is unmatched.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/riz_lemon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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Am I seeing things now?
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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I'm color blind and the other day I thought I could actually detect purple...

...but it was just a pigment of my imagination.

πŸ‘︎ 202
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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I ate some food coloring

The doctor said I'm okay

But inside I'm dyeing

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourTooSlow08
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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What's blue, wet and smells like red paint?

Blue paint

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meeksta11
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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If Matthew McConaughey had a cat, what color would it be?

All white, all white, all white.

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoosierdaddiesx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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Thin soup
πŸ‘︎ 314
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πŸ‘€︎ u/markrakosfalvy
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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What's the color of the wind?

Blew.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/el-duce
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What color is the wind?

Blew

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oakenshield-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What color is the wind?

Blew

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sillusober
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What color is the wind?

Blew.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lil-_-nuggs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What color is the wind?

Blew

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpicyMozzarella
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What color is the wind?

Blew

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nabeel_27
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?

He had a reptile dysfunction

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/always-paranoid
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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Did you head about the chameleon who couldn’t change color?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rk6615
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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My chameleon won’t change colors anymore...

I think he has a reptile dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchinatr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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Color Blind

I have recently been diagnosed with color blindness. It really came out of the purple.

Don’t hurt me.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/420_coolguy_69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn’t change colors?

He had a reptile dysfunction

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shabbos_roller
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Paturious
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color?

He had a reptile dysfunction

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Did ya hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boiboiboi21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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