I cricked my neck a few weeks ago and it’s changed my life forever.
I haven’t looked back since
My sister said I looked like a German composer and musician of the Baroque period, especially when wearing my powdered wig... So I changed everything and it changed my life!
I haven't looked Bach since!
Why did the car stop working after it got its tires changed?
I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
The school made the use of "bullet points" illegal because it incited violence in the classroom, and I must admit I couldn't have cared less. That's all changed now, though.
The bus driver isn't allowed to drive my kids anymore because we live on a dead end street.
My first username was Footloose. Then I changed it to Im_Alright, and now it's Danger_Zone
But enough about my Kenny Logins.
What the local Hungry Howies changed their sign to after someone crashes their car into it.
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.
It's only a phase, after all.
Air Force Two should have its name changed
My last name is the same as my first name, never changed it.
I just can't eat sushi again, I saw a documentary about sushi that changed my mind about it.
So I was monitoring our progress on Google Maps and calling out the distance to the next turn as it changed...
Daughter: "Dad, maybe you don't update our progress every mile?"
Me: "Actually, I'm updating our progress every .1 of a mile. Does that make you tenth?"
Earned me the coveted groan with double eye roll...
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but the lightbulb really has to want to change.
Istanbul kept changing its name over the course of history
We could say it wasn't Constantly Nople.
How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One... Or two.
One......... Or two.
What’s it called when a chameleon cannot change colors anymore?
It's amazing how some word's spellings change between America and Britain
For instance, in America they call Tyrannosaurus Rex a T-Rex and in England they call them a Tea-Rex
When the mystery machine gets a flat tire who has to change it?
How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None - that's a hardware problem.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
How many Mystery-genre writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
How many tropical birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many computer scientists does it take to change a lighbulb?
None. That is a hardware issue.
Why hasn’t Activia yogurt made a commercial with Jamie Lee Curtis singing a parody of Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic” and change it to “Probiotic”?
How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.
How many college students does it take to change a lightbulb.
None, they can't afford the lightbulb.
Did you know you can change the breed of your poodle by teaching it to giggle on command?
It will change the breed of your dog into a snicker-doodle.
How many introverts does it take to change a lightbulb?
Why does it have to be a group activity
How many rappers would it take to change a lightbulb?
None because they were all too lil to reach it.
What is it called when you change a bike's tires for the very last time?
As I thought, the publisher of my book called "Bio" wants me to change the name. It figures...
That's the story of my life.
If Netflix did a documentary about the change in presidency in 2016, they should call it.....
How many cats does it take to change a lightbulb
Really, you expect to much form cats
My Music Pun of the Week. I have to change it Every. Single. Week. I'm running out of ideas.
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. Now it's syncing.
How many witches does it take to change a light bulb...
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ideally three, but Toucan.
How many opticians does it take to change a light bulb?
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. We are very efficient and not funny.
How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ideally three, but toucan
How many birds does it take to change a light?
Sometimes 3, but usually toucan!
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Ideally three, but Toucan.
How many grammar police does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many Jedis does it take to change a lightbulb ?
One. Ani Skywalker will do!
How many country singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to sing about how much better the old one was.
How many South Americans it takes to change a bulb?
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
One. They’re efficient and not very funny.
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