I accidentally turned a wrong valve in the factory which disabled the central cooling system and increased the temperature abruptly. I wasn't able to do anything, so I fled the scene immediately.

The police are now charging me for a 'Heat and Run' incident.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, ...

an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub...

The doorman stops the

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chainz4Dayz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Dad, I can't seem to spell the sovereign state in central Europe.

Dad: "That's because you have Spellczech turned off"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Which city will shock you if you go there?

Electricity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonp27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Wowwww meow
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iconic_CHACHA
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Top of my fridge is now pun central.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Azar002
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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Ive never been to central europe,

but I might czech it out.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SOMEDUDEKILL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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My friend was leading his wild, shaggy-haired ox thru the mountains of central Asia when it projectile vomited all over his feet!

It yakked on his shoes!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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What do you call chubby people from Central and Eastern Russia?

Siberian Huskies.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gradymegalania
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been fired from Comedy Central and from Pizza Hut

Something about delivery the screwing up.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7_Pillars
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a central asian obsessive fan?

A kazakh stan.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/castleblocks
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
There's a little known country in central Europe that is ruled by a monarchy...

Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable they are.

The king knows this and he knows that only a small portion of his populace can ever hope to become one of the respected elite, let alone hold one of their masterpieces in their own hands. Being a very just and fair man, the king ordered the most senior watchmaker in the land to create something the likes of which had never been seen. A watch of such great craftsmanship so as to be above monetary value. The man labored long and hard for many nights to produce the king's watch. When he at last presented the completed work to his lord - in front of the entire nation, no less - he was met with thunderous applause and a warm embrace. He had done it! The king then made a shocking announcement.

"This masterpiece belongs to my people!"

When the roaring of the crowd died down he continued.

"This watch shall be a symbol of my love for all of you. Though I rule over you with supreme authority I do not wish a single one of you to feel that you do not have a voice in the ruling of this nation. From this day on let anyone who doubts my decisions or questions my judgment wear this watch and stand as my equal to voice their concerns. Should even a single one of you think me unfair or wrong in any matter then simply come to my castle and I will present you this token of good faith."

The king made good on his word and from that day on all citizens knew they held the right to challenge their king's rulings. Over time the watch became a symbol of fairness throughout the land. Anyone who wore it

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2016
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Me: I hate having to jack up my car because there's no central place to put the jack so it takes twice as long.

My Dad: (without missing a beat) Man, that's jacked up...see what I did there?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gingerCB
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
How does the colour of a pine tree change in central China?

It starts beige-ing

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CVSSR
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I play chess online with a guy that lives in a small land-locked country in Central Europe.

He’s my Czech-mate.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
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Priorities during a tornado

Multiple tornado warnings in south central Wisconsin where I live and my dad's first response is "We better not have a tornado. I just mowed the lawn, I don't want my house's debris all over it."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattyJV
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that seating spot in Central Park that says β€œGimme More” on it?

It's Britney bench

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clifwith1f
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Making puns is so easy, it's really a
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeeist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
🚨︎ report
I have the heart of a lion...

And a life time ban from the Central Park Zoo

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ar1stocrat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do spanish programmers code in?

SΓ­ ++

πŸ‘︎ 737
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yuberz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an ex-comedy-central comedian's favorite organ?

The John Oliver

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTeaPod
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2017
🚨︎ report
I made friends with a guy from Central Europe on chess.com earlier

He's my czech mate

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinie_Snipah
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2015
🚨︎ report
What part of the body has the most anxiety?

The central nervous system.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm so anxious ...

... even my central system is nervous!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Central Florida bartender dad jokes a granddad.

Setting:waterfront bar/restaraunt.

Granddad: "you guys get a lot of manatees in here?"

Me: "no sir, they can't fit through the door"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tophOCMC
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2014
🚨︎ report
A Catholic High School had a legendary American football program

Every year, the team was in the state championship game, and usually won it handily. Every able lad within a few hundred miles wanted to play football for Central Catholic Fighting Knights.

Those who were familiar with the program, knew that the true heart and soul of the Knights football program was Sister Mary Margaret, an aged nun who would, in full habit, get out on the practice field and work on routes with the receivers, give pointers to the quarterbacks on their stances and releases, but most of all, love them like the second mother that she became to all of the boys in that program.

One year, on the eve of the state championship game, some evil malefactors broke into the convent and kidnapped Sister Mary Margaret. Everyone was stunned by the news, but none more so than the Knights of Central Catholic. They were devastated at the loss of their mentor.

As you might guess, the state championship game didn't go very well. For the first time in the history of the football program, the Knights were shut out. The Spartans beat them 42-0.

The next day, the headline on the local sports section read:

No Offense, Nun Taken

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SaintMeerkat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My mom has jokes of a dad...

"Chinese takeout dinner: $8.45

Gas to go pick it up: $2.12

Coming home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: riceless"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaclyngrace
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2014
🚨︎ report
What is the capuchin monkey’s favorite drink?

Capuchino!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/triet1703
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call my Eastern European buddy who plays chess?

My Czech mate.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PacifistSocialist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2015
🚨︎ report
Reasons Why I Didn't Like Dante's Inferno
  • It's too deep
  • It's the pits
  • The places made me go "What the Hell"
  • It took an eternity for anything to happen
  • I didn't get a lot of it , because the devil was in the details
  • The so-called "smart" people in Hell use too much circular reasoning
  • The main character is too down-to-earth
  • Lucifer is unlikable, even though he is a central character
  • It uses too much inflammatory language
  • A lot of the action is too sin-tilating for me

Ok, that last one was pretty bad. I should be punished. I'll go die in a fire now.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShowingMyselfOut
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2015
🚨︎ report
GPS...

Navigation system; 'Bare left after 300 yards'

Dad; Oh my God take cover, there's a massive grizzly bear on the left!'

We were in Central London.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nott96
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2015
🚨︎ report
They spelt it wrong

My 9yo saw my wife's shopping bag she brought home from the "TYPO" gift store and declared, "Hey, they spelt it wrong."

I said, "Maybe it was just a 'typo'..."

(Photo of TYPO Store) http://www.canelandcentral.com.au/~/media/retail/au/caneland-central/stores/typo8905.ashx?as=0&mh=1130

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bishslap
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2016
🚨︎ report
Riding in the car

I'm in the car with my dad and roll down the window saying "It's muggy in here!" He responds with, "Just like Central Park. It's also robby and stabby."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DerpyDash13
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
🚨︎ report
Got some coworkers good today

So I just got to Panama City today on business. I'm traveling with 6 other coworkers, and we had a chauffeur pick us up from the airport in his van. There was room for all of us to sit; however there was no room inside the van for all our luggage. The driver decides to store all the luggage on top of the van - only problem is this is Central America and it rains A LOT. One of my coworkers said "I really hope it doesn't rain with all our luggage on top of the van". To which I replied, "Yeah, that would really put a damper on our trip". Needless to say I got a few pity laughs :)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rambo2189
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2015
🚨︎ report
Husband got me today on vacation.

My husband, mother-in-law and I are in Panama for thanksgiving. We were hanging out by the pool talking about the weather back home vs the weather here in Central America.

Then my husband said "do you know what South American country gets pretty cold?"

Mother-In-law: "Argentina?"

Me: "I believe Brazil gets kind of cold in some parts"

Husband: "No, Chilè!!"

Me: "oh goodness"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wrenbirds
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Ohh dad. The funny part is I'm only 26 and I'm starting to show his humor.

"Hey Robosho, did you know that there was a major crime today in the Central Valley (California, all this part is true). The thieves got away with stealing over 400,000 dollars worth of walnuts"

Then he added, "yea, the cops called it a real nutcase"

And with a huge grin on his face, he ended , "I made that last part up"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robosho
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2014
🚨︎ report
An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran

An Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a bar..

The doorman stops them and says sorry I can’t let you in without a T

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 143
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frase32
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A bar joke for y'all

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean

All go to a bar

The doorm

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zarni1410
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian....

, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub ..................................

T

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 292
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πŸ‘€︎ u/k0r0ze
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A Catholic High School had a legendary American football team. Every year, the team was in the state championship game, and usually won it handily…

Every able lad within a few hundred miles wanted to play football for Central Catholic Fighting Knights.

Those who were familiar with the program, knew that the true heart and soul of the Knights football program was Sister Mary Margaret, an aged nun who would, in full habit, get out on the practice field and work on routes with the receivers, give pointers to the quarterbacks on their stances and releases, but most of all, love them like the second mother that she became to all of the boys in that program.

One year, on the eve of the state championship game, some evil malefactors broke into the convent and kidnapped Sister Mary Margaret. Everyone was stunned by the news, but none more so than the Knights of Central Catholic. They were devastated at the loss of their mentor.

As you might guess, the state championship game didn't go very well. For the first time in the history of the football program, the Knights were shut out. The Spartans beat them 42-0.

The next day, the headline on the local sports section read:

No Offense, Nun Taken

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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An Afghan...

...an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Jap, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2017
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