I was appalled.
"Bargain" the man says.
"Thanks" the woman replies. "That means a great deal."
They call it mourning wood.
Is that you coffin?
...and then the coffin stopped.
Success I guess, remains to be seen.
It watched the news and became convinced it had contracted the coronavirus from it's intended inhabitant, a Chinese woman from Wuhan who had died of the disease.
The casket went to the emergency room at the nearest hospital.
After overcoming her initial shock at diagnosing a casket, the ER doctor ran a blood test and determined the casket definitely did not have the coronavirus.
"But I feel like I'm dying doctor, and I only just came to life. If it isn't the coronavirus what is it?" worriedly asked the casket.
"I'm not sure," answered the doctor, "we'll have to run some more tests."
"But my fever, the pain in my lungs...what could it be? Doctor if you had to give me your best diagnosis right now without the tests, what do you think could be causing these terrible respiratory symptoms?"
The doctor thought for a moment then answered, "SARS cough I guess."
...was that you Coffin ?
Mourning wood.
I looked at him and said “Forget it man, that’s the last thing I’ll ever need.”
He opened the lid and there was Ludwig... maddenly erasing sheets of his greatest works. "Just as I thought!" said the gravedigger. "He's decomposing!"
“Hey, it’s your funeral”
Because he couldn't stop coffin!
Is that you coffin?
H/T to /u/ctp2nd for the early morning phone call dad joke.
They are nothing but dead weight.
Is that you coffin?
The first one was for when I got on board. Here's the one from when I was getting off the bus: What did one strawberry say to the other? If you weren't so sweet we wouldn't be in this jam!
He's a fantastic bus driver.
Is that you coffin?
Is that you coughin’?
Why you coffin?
I said, “Look buddy, that’s the last thing I need!”
Is that you coffin?
..is that you coffin?
Is that you coffin (coughing)
