My ex- rapper friend decided to stop his gardening business because he was really careless with his tools.

He has hoes in different area codes.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Apr 05 2019
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Still scratching my head in confusion, trying to understand why was I thrown out of the interview room???

My answer was spot on, upon being asked to give an example on a "Business being completely ruined due to carelessness" All I said was... "A Pregnant Prostitute"

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👤︎ u/ball5deeper
📅︎ Dec 26 2020
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What kept the Soviets from making careless mistakes?

common cents

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📅︎ Aug 24 2019
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In an alternate universe, George Michael had an allergy to chocolate

He was killed by a careless Wispa

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👤︎ u/Saltedpretzel64
📅︎ Dec 12 2020
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Did you hear about the teacher who carelessly assigned every student a good grade, regardless of their actual work?

She gave zero F’s.

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👤︎ u/vicious_viridian
📅︎ May 26 2018
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Why was the man sad that he lost his cookie from the Chinese Restaurant?

His carelessness cost him a fortune.

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👤︎ u/Dr_Wheuss
📅︎ Sep 10 2020
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Did you hear about the piece of fruit that left its wallet at a George Michael concert in Zurich?

It was a Careless Swiss Pear.

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👤︎ u/toucantwist
📅︎ Aug 21 2019
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How did George Michael end up with chocolate all over his hands?

He was careless with his Whisper

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👤︎ u/Caius0607
📅︎ Feb 08 2019
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My dad's perfect response to my sisters complaint

My older sister recently had a new roommate move in and found that roommate to be a bit careless with shared items. She had recently just bought new ceramic knives and came home to find one of the tips broken off. Lamenting to my dad when she came home to visit she exclaimed "$80 knife I just bought is already broken", slamming the broken knife down on the counter.

My dad without missing a beat, looks up from his book, straight faced and says "Well, this is why you can't have knife things."

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👤︎ u/ron_pope
📅︎ Aug 05 2014
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What's a cats favourite song?

Careless whispurrr

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👤︎ u/SquawkMcQuawk
📅︎ Nov 11 2017
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While whistling a tune at work today...

My colleague says: Stop that! I can't stand George Michael.

Me: Sorry, I'm such a Careless Whisteler!

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👤︎ u/aquasulis
📅︎ Feb 09 2016
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A double whammy with my co-worker yesterday

Co-worker: "I can careless about today, but tomorrow will be a different story."

Me: "Well, what if there was a book called Today is Tomorrow? Then it would be."

Coworker: "Fyphoon, that doesn't make any sense."

Me: "Don't worry, I brought change."

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👤︎ u/Fyphoon
📅︎ May 09 2015
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Did you hear about when George Michael dropped a chocolate bar?

He was Careless with his Wispa

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👤︎ u/Fandam_YT
📅︎ Jul 09 2020
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