My friend Charles lived away for a long time. So when he came back, I started calling him Harles.
What do you call a unidentified body after a long time?
What do you call a scandal concerning a rich engineer where the list of accusations only gets longer and longer over time?
I once dated two girls called Edith and Kate. Kate found out and told Edith that I was dating both of them at the same time. They both broke up with me on the very same day!
Moral of the story is you can’t have your Kate and Edith too
What do you call a person with one eye that's sad all the time?
What do you call a non female, time travaling car?
I guess it's time to answer the call of Nature..💩
My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes
How many mexicans does it need to change a light bulb ?
Why do you call the guy that’s afraid a pear will annoy him at any time?
What do you call the time period between the Bronze and Iron Ages where humans learned to cure meat?
A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..
.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
What do you call a guy who always arrives on time
Justin time. (Got it from that tracer voiceline)
What is it called when two mummies fart at the same time?
What do you call it when two Egyptians fart at the same time?
What do you call two people looking at the same thing at different times?
What do you call a time travelling killer whale?
What do you call someone who works part time on a train?
What do you call a man who’s short of time?
What do you call it when a teacher watches his class as they take a test and plays online poker at the same time?
If doing something two times is called Twice, what do we call doing something nine times?
What do you call a clock that can't tell time ??
Lance is an uncommon name nowdays
But in mediaeval times people were called lance a lot
I went to this restaurant called Warren one time in college
It really was a terrible buffet
What do you call a ghost that haunts the set of a day-time tv talk show?
The Phantom of the Oprah.
What do you call Spider-Man when his hands shake all the time?
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
In an alternate universe, Hercules was a girl.
Have you heard about the new game getting released? It’s AI is 20 years ahead of it’s time, graphics are truly real life, an open world concept where anything you want to do is truly possible. It’s called:
Go outside and ride your bike
What do you call a person in prehistoric times that wanders around aimlessly?
I have started carrying a piece of stone with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving.
It’s my jingle bell rock.
What is it called when you change a bike's tires for the very last time?
FIRST DATE: Her dad: "I want her home before midnight."
Me: "But you already own her home."
Dad: -turning to daughter- "If you don't sleep with him, I will."
Credit to u/psybermonkey15
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!
What do you call two Egyptian guys farting at the same time?
what do you call fries every day at the same time
It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar, but a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house...
The difference is staggering
I sat down for dinner at a restaurant, and the waiter asked me, “Do you want to hear today’s special?”
I said, “Yes please.”
Waiter: “No problem sir. Today is special.”
Edit: You guys are way too generous. Thank you.
What is the only 4 letter word sport that starts with a 'T'?
What do you call it when you do the Hitler salute 5 times?
What do you call a caveman who takes his time?
What do you call a nordic person who never shows up on time?
Breaking news: Scientists have discovered a new element that disappears and reappears at random times. They have called it the element of...
I've called Bloody Mary three times now
I think she's ghosting me
What do you call an occupied time machine?
What is it called when two mummies fart at the same time?
What do you call it when two ancient Egyptians fart at the same time?
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