If a male person bursts into laughter...
... can he then be accused of manslaughter?
π︎ 27
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︎ Jan 07 2021
A man bursts into his therapist's office and says, "Doc, you gotta help me. I keep dreaming I'm stuck inside a deck of cards!"
The therapist looked up from his paperwork and said, "I'm busy now. I'll deal with you later."
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 17 2020
An armed robber bursts into a store one day.
Pointing his firearm at two cashiers, he shouts βhand over the contents of the cash register! I need it to set myself up in a trade or profession...you know, a habitual occupation followed for a livelihood and involving commercial transactions!β
Cashier 1: βWhat do we do?β
Cashier 2: βDo what he says, I think he means business!β
π︎ 21
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︎ Oct 16 2020
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears...
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 4k
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︎ Apr 18 2020
A man burst into a ski resort in Vale, Colorado.
He shouted into the room, "Everywhere I go, there's a black bird that sticks to me. He sticks to my fleece jacket, my wool hat, even my velvet gloves!"
The concierge shakes his head and says, "Oh, that's just the Vale crow."
π︎ 32
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︎ Aug 22 2020
Burst out laughing!
π︎ 16
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︎ Jun 20 2020
I burst into the kitchen and shouted at my wife, "Honey! Whatever you do, do NOT let them take your temperature on your forehead when you go into the supermarket!! It erases your memory!! I went in for bread and milk like you asked..."
"...and came out with two cases of beer!!!"
π︎ 14
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︎ Jul 28 2020
As if 2020 wasn't crazy enough in Texas today, a herd of cows suddenly burst into flames.
Scientists still don't know what the cattle-lyst was.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jul 14 2020
When youβre sliding in to first and you feel your britches burst...
You should have bought a high quality denim jean with plenty of room for your legs. Those tight jeans are just not practical.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 26 2020
My dad burst into my room and said, βWanna hear a joke?β, and then proceeded to fart for a whole minute.
He said. βSorry. That was a long winded story.β
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jul 03 2019
My wife Lorraine left me because I always burst into song.
I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone.
π︎ 27
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︎ Feb 20 2020
My inflatable dock burst after my friends kept telling me to fill it with more air.
π︎ 89
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︎ Nov 02 2019
Be careful to not burst your bubble.
π︎ 33
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︎ Oct 08 2019
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
/r/Weekness/comments/erz6β¦
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 21 2020
A man burst into a doctor's office and began asking all sorts of strange questions to the people waiting inside. When the doctor asked him to stop, he didn't. The doctor replied
You're really testing my patients.
π︎ 95
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︎ Apr 04 2019
A boy was sitting at home playing video games when suddenly his dad bursts in through the front door and says, βSon, look, check out my new AirPods!β
The boy looks at his fatherβs ears but sees nothing. βDad, thereβs nothing there.β
βYeah I know, theyβre literal!β
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 06 2019
A patient bursts into a doctorβs office, "Doctor, I believe I'm a deck of cards!" The doctor calmly replies, "Go sit in the waiting room, please, I'll be dealing with you later."
short-funny.com/best-punsβ¦
π︎ 17
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︎ Jul 10 2017
I was walking down the street when a group of kids threw a block of cheese off me, they burst into laughter and I yelled
βThatβs not mature is itβ
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 04 2019
Have you heard of the woman who periodically bursts into a pet shop asking if they have big white bears?
She's been diagnosed with buypolar disorder.
π︎ 19
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︎ Mar 26 2016
My brother's surgeon burst out into song in the ER
He said it was Open Mike night.
π︎ 39
π
︎ May 22 2017
What do you call a jacket that bursts into flames?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 26 2017
Today my son asked "can I have a book mark" and I burst in tears
19 years old and he still does not know my name is Luke
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
A therapist was with a client when another client burst in and said, "Doc, you gotta help me! I keep having a nightmare that I'm stuck inside a deck of cards."
The therapist looked at him calmly and said, "I'm with another client. I'll deal with you later."
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
A patient bursts into his therapist's office and shouts, "Doc, you gotta help me. I keep dreaming that I'm trapped in a deck of cards!"
The therapist turns from his current patient and says, "I'm busy now. I'll deal with you later."
π︎ 75
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︎ Mar 09 2020
Today my son asked βCan I have a book mark?β And I burst into tears. 15 years and he still doesnβt know my names Brian.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Apr 08 2020
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 43k
π
︎ Nov 24 2018
Today my son asked "can i have a book mark?" I burst into tears.
He is 11 years old and still doesn't know my name is Brian
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 23 2020
Today, my son asked "Can i have a book mark?" And i burst into tears
11 years old and he still doesnt know my name is Brian
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 12 2020
Today, my son asked "Can I have a bookmark?" and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 19 2020
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 272
π
︎ Oct 07 2019
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 110
π
︎ Oct 12 2019
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Oct 17 2019
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian
π︎ 89
π
︎ Jun 12 2019
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 35
π
︎ Oct 30 2019
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 24 2019
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Oct 24 2019
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 07 2019
Today, my son asked "can I have a book mark?" And I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian!
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jun 18 2019
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 27 2019
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 01 2019
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
π︎ 10
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︎ Jun 20 2019
My daughter asked me "do you have a book mark". I burst out crying
Shes 11 years old and still doesn't know that my name is bob...
π︎ 8
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︎ May 29 2019
Today, my son asked me βcan I have a book mark?β And I burst out crying, 11 years old and he still wonβt call me dad
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jan 09 2019
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