Bubbly Puns

Me: I think we have some pear cider leftover from last night. Dad: You wouldn't want that, it'd make you impeared.

Because he is a chew chew train

Postaste

Bubble 07

Improbable.

I came so close to winning but I blew it

A soap opera!

My 3 month old son is blowing bubbles, and my wife says, "I hope we get giggles out of you soon!"

I said, "He's pretty close, maybe next year!"

Wife to son: "That's the oldest dad joke in the book, buddy!"

Me: "It gets older every year!"

She hated the chews

Double Bubble

He was Boba-fettered.

Pop

It'd make cents off so many levels.

/edit:rephrased punchline

Yes son I do.

Me: Well he's back in town and he's looking for you

"Goodbye water, you will be mist."

I call it the HEPA-weizen.

a boba fete!

...I'll just show myself out.

Unbeliebubble

Next week the museum I work at begins a three-week run of what we call Bubblefest. There will be bubbles everywhere, a bubble laser show, all kinds of exhibits and interactive shows explaining some of the science involved with bubbles. So I need some jokes and puns to replace the old standby of "my pop is bigger than your pop!"

I know it's been done before, and many a dad before me and many a dad after me will get to experience this, but in these dark times this was a ray of light that pierced me right to the core with joy.

I came home, and my bright and bubbly ballerina 6 year old runs up and says can I have a hug!?

She asks very tentatively because she knows I have been out all day and the routine is for me to grab a shower (COVID) before I let them get all over me.

So I say, not yet I'm dirty.

She says awww... then she turns to walk away, but then spins back around and looks at me dead in the eye and says:

Hi! um...

wait a sec,

um, I know um,

um, wait.... dir...

[Face beams the biggest smile of accomplishment]

Hi Dirty! I'm [daughter]!

I know we have those proud moments when they turn, but man her delivery, the awkwardness, and the sheer pride she beamed out when she realized she just pulled the reverse dad joke on me...

It's not the getting reverse dad'd, it's the joy and pride she had... she could have just graduated college, and that's how big her beaming smile was right then...

It's a memory I am going to keep and it really lit up this dark time.

All offenses aside, I’m originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.

So an Irishman stumbles upon a genie’s lamp and says to himself “ooh laddy what have we found here? I tink I’ll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!”

So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genie’s form becomes solid. It speaks, “Oh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.”

The Irishman’s eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts “tree wishes?! That’s just brilliant!” For me first wish, I’ll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.”

The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. “Well I tink we’ll have to put this to the test!” He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, “Ahhhhhhhh!!!” And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping “bulp!”, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. “WELL I’LL BE! THAT’S THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!”

The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman “Master, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?”

The Irishman looks to the genie and says “oh tat’s easy! I’ll have two more of these!”

Bubble rap

Cause it was a chew chew.

I got a daughter otw, and the gf got me a book of dad jokes, more to come!

It left a bad taste in my mouth.

Kung Fu Man Chew

"Well, of course I did."

"Well, he's back in town and wants your number."

My dad told this joke to me for the first time when I was like 10.

Pop!

I guess you could say we blow through them.

Any ideas on bringing Office Management and Hockey Terms together for a good team name?

A shampoodle!

He’s back in town and wants your number

How do divers communicate? They use speech bubbles

Bubble 07

Chew chew train.

What do you call James Bond in a bath?

Bubble 07

Bubble 07

Bubble-07