SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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📅︎ Jan 15 2022
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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

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👤︎ u/snc8698
📅︎ Jan 29 2022
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What's the opposite of lady fingers?

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

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👤︎ u/GamerJoe85
📅︎ Jan 31 2022
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I’ve got this disease where I can’t stop making airport puns.

The doctor says it terminal.

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👤︎ u/xIR0NPULSE
📅︎ Jan 28 2022
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Just because it's a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

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📅︎ Jan 23 2022
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

👍︎ 5k
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📅︎ Jan 02 2022
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I heard that by law you have to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

👍︎ 10k
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📅︎ Jan 25 2022
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How to learn Indian Mathematics

I recently learnt Fibonacci was inspired by indian mathematics, called it the most logical and worked on the series by Pingala/Virahanka, which others called the Fibonacci series. It is said that though Fibonacci was European, he was an Indian Mathematician by deed. Since we all know how little Europeans think of India, it is of great amusement to me that Indian Mathematicians affected a European so much. This inspires me to learn Indian Mathematics But all I can find are basic addition/multiplication tricks claimed as vedic mathematics. Can someone guide me to how to learn Indian Mathematics ?

Additional request: I have made a very basic list of some mathematicians and their works from Wikipedia. If someone can provide the same along with hindi/English translation or written commentary, it would be of great help (though no problem with sanskrit of nothing is available, but I dont know any other language except these three) Pingala: Chandaḥśāstra

Virahanka: Chandaḥśāstra Commentary

Aryabhata: Aryabhatiya

Varāhamihira: Pancha-Siddhantika Brihat-Samhita Brihadjathaka

Brahmagupta: Brāhmasphuṭasiddhānta Khaṇḍakhādyaka Grahaṇārkajñāna

Bhaskara II: Siddhānta-Śiromani

Madhava of Sangamagrama: Golavada Madhyamanayanaprakara Mahajyanayanaprakara Lagnaprakarana Venvaroha Sphutacandrapti Aganita-grahacara Chandravakyani

Narayana Pandit: Ganita Kaumudi

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📅︎ Jan 09 2022
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Puns make me numb

Mathematical puns makes me number

👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/tadashi4
📅︎ Jan 26 2022
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So my mom is getting her foot cut off today.. (really)

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

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👤︎ u/Slimybirch
📅︎ Jan 27 2022
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Petition to ban rants from this sub

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

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👤︎ u/drak0ni
📅︎ Jan 24 2022
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.
👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jan 29 2022
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French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

👍︎ 9k
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📅︎ Jan 20 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

👍︎ 14k
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📅︎ Jan 14 2022
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Why does Spider-Man's calendar only have 11 months?

He lost May

👍︎ 8k
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📅︎ Jan 26 2022
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When I was a single man, I had loads of free time.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

👍︎ 7k
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📅︎ Jan 25 2022
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You've been hit by
👍︎ 6k
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👤︎ u/mordrathe
📅︎ Jan 20 2022
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Girlfriend got me good. Never been more proud of her.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

👍︎ 12k
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👤︎ u/Mannheimd
📅︎ Jan 29 2022
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I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

👍︎ 11k
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📅︎ Jan 21 2022
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My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

👍︎ 9k
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📅︎ Jan 22 2022
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As a doctor, I have never made a joke about unvaccinated babies before.

But let me give it a shot.

👍︎ 8k
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📅︎ Jan 30 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

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📅︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jan 13 2022
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A coworker named Celcius recently retired from my company, so they hired a guy called Kelvin to replace him.

He’s the new temp.

👍︎ 5k
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📅︎ Jan 30 2022
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My wife left me because I couldn’t stop doing impressions of pasta

And now I’m cannelloni

👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jan 23 2022
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

👍︎ 11k
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👤︎ u/Eoussama
📅︎ Jan 17 2022
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Argument at family dinner...
👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jan 30 2022
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Steve JOBS would have made a better President than Donald Trump

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

👍︎ 8k
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📅︎ Jan 22 2022
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I just flew in from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs.

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👤︎ u/JhopkinsWA
📅︎ Jan 23 2022
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What do you call a woman who’s really good at darts?

Amy

👍︎ 5k
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📅︎ Jan 29 2022
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My 7 year old daughter just told me this one. I'm so proud. What did the duck say when he bought chapstick?

Put it on my bill

👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jan 26 2022
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So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

👍︎ 7k
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📅︎ Jan 18 2022
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No gains
👍︎ 8k
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👤︎ u/ridi86
📅︎ Jan 22 2022
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I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

👍︎ 8k
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📅︎ Jan 19 2022
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How eggs-traordinary
👍︎ 5k
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👤︎ u/Rix27_
📅︎ Jan 21 2022
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Duckduckgo
👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jan 28 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

👍︎ 11k
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📅︎ Jan 12 2022
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Geometry sucks
👍︎ 3k
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👤︎ u/Kash30
📅︎ Jan 25 2022
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What is the scariest tree?

BamBOO!

👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jan 18 2022
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My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary?

A play on words.

👍︎ 6k
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👤︎ u/ah1887
📅︎ Jan 20 2022
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A queen size statement.
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📅︎ Jan 22 2022
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Orion's belt
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👤︎ u/mordrathe
📅︎ Jan 25 2022
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Did you know all dogs are made up of only 3 elements?

Calcium, nickel, neon

👍︎ 3k
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👤︎ u/redneckvet
📅︎ Jan 25 2022
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Geddit? No? Only me?
👍︎ 6k
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👤︎ u/shampy311
📅︎ Dec 28 2021
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My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after Star Wars characters...

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

👍︎ 9k
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📅︎ Jan 21 2022
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

👍︎ 3k
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📅︎ Jan 07 2022
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My ex girlfriend was a beautiful woman...

... olive skin, green eyes, snakes for hair.

But I had to break it off with her because she was constantly objectifying me.

👍︎ 3k
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📅︎ Jan 30 2022
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E or ß?
👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/Amazekam
📅︎ Jan 03 2022
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My fencing opponent laughed at me for bringing a block of cheddar to a sword fight.

Until he discovered it was extra sharp.

👍︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/JoeFas
📅︎ Jan 28 2022
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