Fancy stores are now adding bleach packets to their clothing that explodes if you try to steal them

Police say it’s a great a crime detergent

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MLaBolle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2021
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A man was murdered by being forced to drink bleach

It was a clean kill

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZJoe2316
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2020
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My health science teacher said to drink milk to neutralize the acid in bleach

I told her she told us a lye

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gaerat_of_trivia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2020
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My girlfriend asked me if I could help bleach her hair. To my response:

I'd rather dye.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/delo357
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2020
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LOCAL MAN ARRESTED FOR HITTING HIS WIFE WITH A BOTTLE OF BLEACH

The police were called for domestos abuse

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/guyfieriscousinmoist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2019
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Bleach the crap outta it
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AetherScience
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 21 2019
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What do you call bleach obsessed with starbucks?

Basic

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hdeifh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2019
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Does drinking bleach make me a clean eater? Because if so isja shan..z.?,.;;@
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MysteryRelevant
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2018
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My wife asked what happens if you get bleach in your eye.

You go color blind

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/b1kerguy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2018
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What do you call a spy who bleaches his hair?

James Blonde

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/joelaray
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2021
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I got my butthole bleached yesterday

After all these years, I finally changed my ringtone

πŸ‘οΈŽ 536
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Suhspence
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2018
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I bleached half my hair about 6 months ago and I drive a Corolla. Corolla de Vil?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SlytherinAhri
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2018
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I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Boomkiller
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2018
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Did you hear about the black guy who accidentally bleached his skin?

He's all white now.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2015
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Got my girlfriend with this one.

So my girlfriend calls me and asks if I can bring her some of my tide detergent pods because she is out of detergent. So I go over to her dorm and I brought a few extra and as I give them to her I say "here are a few extra to tide you over until you get more detergent." And she rolled her eyes and told me to get out but it was worth it

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/arretez1512
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2016
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Dad just told me this zinger.

I went to mass during the week, the priest was taking rubbish so I poured Bleach on him and he phoned the police for Bleach of the priest.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mickfalcon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2017
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My First One on wife and daughter

The family and I stopped in at local store to buy some things. Driving home from store I hear an "oh no!" from the back seat. My daughter was holding a new bottle of bleach on her lap and I guess the lid wasn't on tight and it spilled a little on her skirt. We get home and she and my wife are working diligently on trying to prevent any stains from forming on her black skirt.

Me: "I hope you understand if I say I hope things don't turn out all white"

Wife: disgusted and odd stare in my direction.

Daughter: "What?"

They continued to ignore me the rest of the evening. I guess I failed; or maybe succeeded.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dadof4girls
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2015
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Friend got us good talking about food

A few friends and I were talking about our food preferences. One friend says, "White rice isn't that good for you, since most of the nutrients and fiber are taken away during the bleaching and processing. Brown rice is a lot better for you." Then my other friend replies, "You know what they call people like you in Australia? Ricest."

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/right_in_two
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2016
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Global warming is causing the colors at rodeos to fade and get lighter

They are calling it Corral Bleaching.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/teslarobot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2016
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Dad provides interesting commentary to TV show

I was watching a singing competition on TV (The Voice) with my parents and I noticed that one of the judges had bleached his hair. I turned over to my mom and asked...

Me: "Mom, why did Adam bleach his hair?" Dad: "He had a blonde moment."

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/alex_morena
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2014
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