Ok this needs a bit of context: η« is a Chinese word that is read as 'mao'
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︎ Jan 31 2021
When I was first learning Photoshop I got a bit creative. I could hear my friends roll their eyes.
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︎ Jan 26 2021
My Child's Paediatrician is usually a bit short tempered when we visit, but then again..
..She always had little patients.
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︎ Jan 23 2021
A Man rushed into a Doctor's office shouting ' help me Doctor, I'm shrinking' The Doctor calmly said ' Now settle down a bit '..
.. you'll just have to learn to be a little patient.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Every summer I get bit by one thousand and twenty four bugs.
My wife told me to get over it cause it was just one byte.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
I arrived early to the restaurant. The manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said no.
Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
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︎ Jan 08 2021
When the road is a bit rocky...
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︎ Dec 26 2020
The sky looked a bit foreboding this morning, so I asked Siri "Surely it's not going to rain today?" Siri replied "It is, and don't call me Shirley."
I must have left my phone in Airplane mode.
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︎ Feb 01 2021
2 of our friends came over at around 1 AM and to be honest, I was a bit embarrassed to let them in
Hadnβt cleaned the house all year
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Switching things up a bit, today.
Going to sit on the television and watch the recliner
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︎ Jan 30 2021
My dog was acting a bit angry since I took him to the vets and get him neutered
But Iβm not worried, since he doesnβt have the balls to do anything
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︎ Jan 20 2021
Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"
The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"
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︎ Dec 16 2020
I turned off the fan because I was a bit cold...
I wonder why everyone else on the helicopter is panicking?
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Let me give you a bit of advice....
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︎ Dec 14 2020
A bit later than usual, but here's Dadvent day 9!
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︎ Dec 09 2020
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︎ Nov 27 2020
My employer asked me to tell a bit about myself
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︎ Dec 18 2020
My girlfriend owns a bit of a golden Nile serpent...
She has a nice piece of asp!
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︎ Jan 01 2021
I'm going to open a pizza joint where they shake a box a bit before they hand it to you.
I'll call it Little Seizures.
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︎ Sep 20 2020
I know, I know... This pun was a bit nutty
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︎ Nov 20 2020
Imade a similar one a few days ago bit i fpund more squirrels
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︎ Nov 01 2020
A girl came up to me and said she recognized me from her vegetarian restaurant. I was a bit confused.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
What's the best bit about a Covid cake?
It'll never run out as the Government is always adding new tiers.
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︎ Dec 20 2020
my friend bit me and told me I was transgender
so I said βoh wow, I didnβt know it could transpireβ
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︎ Dec 20 2020
Punny & a bit wholesome.
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︎ Oct 08 2020
What kind of shoes do bakers wear?
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︎ Jan 22 2021
Many Folks Donβt Know that Santa Often has to Clean the Small Bits of Poo from his Reindeer Butts.
They call them Jingle Berries.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
Itβs a bit calculated to understand this pun
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︎ Oct 24 2020
I was going to tell an Amish joke, but it's a bit insensitive
But then I remembered they'll never read it here anyways.
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︎ Nov 24 2020
What do you call a guy who comes across a bit rude and abrupt?
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Why are 0 and 1 the only numbers with genders?
All the others are non-binary
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︎ Jan 24 2021
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
... so I bought a seal iron
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︎ Oct 08 2020
I had a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Why date a geologist?
Because they know what make the bedrock! π
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Looking to learn a bit more about the foods we traditionally eat on Thanksgiving...
Can anyone recommend a good bog about cranberries?
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︎ Nov 26 2020
My 4y olds temp is a bit high this morning so I told her she was as sick as a dog we have to take her to the vet.
She was a bit scared a very confused until we showed up at grandmas house as usual. Happy Veterans Day to my mom and those who served ! and thanks to all of you that are AD | NAD | TRS | TAMP for your service.
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Dress code
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︎ Oct 31 2020
I am not proud of this... okay maybe a little bit
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︎ Sep 21 2020
My infant son is a bit constipated. My wife was like "I want to weigh him today" and I said that's not a good idea. She asked why...
Because he is full of shit.
She responded "you shouldn't say that"
I responded "what he just lies all day."
Real convo
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︎ Nov 03 2020
βBack in the day...β my dad started to say. βYou could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a bit of butter as well. But today...β he lamented...
βWherever you go, there are those darn cameras!"
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︎ Aug 11 2020
Where do naughty rainbows go?
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︎ Jan 18 2021
My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it!
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︎ Nov 01 2020
How does the moon cut his hair?
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︎ Jan 23 2021
Dig a hole in me tonight
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︎ Nov 01 2020
Which kidney to take?
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︎ Oct 05 2020
Milk is good
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︎ Jan 07 2021
I saw yet another fence joke but this one seemed a bit out of line
So I offered to repost it
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︎ Sep 07 2020
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