You know, out West they're started to ban those big round bales of hay you see in that field over there..

.... The cows aren't getting three square meals a day.

(Also, to those who tell dad jokes at every opportunity, I really appreciate you. As a person who grew up without the joy of a pops embarrassing me with terrible jokes, I was always bewildered by the stereotype. Recently though, I've been taking a microeconomics course I was dreading having to take and my professor has "big econ dad" energy. There's a joke every few minutes in his lectures and they give me the energy to keep going. You are appreciated. Even if your kids, spouse, partner, friends, strangers groan at you, undoubtedly someone out there really appreciates your goofiness).

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/plantborb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
"A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load.

Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralysed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/always-paranoid
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I took my kid shopping and he asked me why cookies were $1.99 instead of $2.00

I looked at him bewildered and told him because $2.00 doesn't make cents.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PurpleFlame8
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My pregnant wife hobbled into the hospital with one hand on her back...

A nurse asked her what's wrong, and my wife screamed, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Didn't!"

The nurse shook her head and said, "I'm sorry…I don't understand."

My wife's face contorted in pain as she shouted, "Can't! Won't! Don't!"

The nurse, bewildered, turned the doctor.

"Admit her," the doctor said. "She's having contractions."

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
🚨︎ report
I cannot be-weave he said this

I’m terrified of spiders and had to summon my boyfriend to relocate a rather large one hanging out on the back door.

Him: Actually I think I’ll put him in a jar. We can keep him as a pet and name him Frank.

Me staring at him bewildered:.... name him frank?

Him: Yes because he frankly terrifies you.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I just sarcastically told my grandfather that he was very funny.

He said "I guess that makes me a farmer."

I look at him, bewildered.

"A corn farmer."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jar_of_salt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I turned to my son and asked him to name two pronouns.

He looked bewildered and replied, "Who, me?"

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sofishtication
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Too early for this ...

I woke up early for work,and was getting dressed while my girlfriend lazily poked at her phone. I was laying out my clothes, saying as I go: "undershirt ... work shirt ... underwear ... jeans ... French bovine ... can't wear shoes without the French bovine ..."

I noticed my girlfriend was staring at me, bewildered, but also wearing her "what sort of stupid thing are you saying now?"

I asked what was the matter, and she inquired what a French bovine is.

I said, you shouldn't wear shoes without ...

A Paris ox.

edited: stupid mistakes. It makes better sense now.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NobodyWhatsoever
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2016
🚨︎ report
Don't leave me hanging

Was rock climbing at the gym with my brother yesterday and we saw a girl struggling to make a move. Her friend yelled for her to put her left foot into the nook by her knee, and I suggested that she put her right foot into the Kindle. Nothing but bewildered looks.

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Norsbane
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2015
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked my date last night

Went ice skating, she was wearing gloves that were meant to resemble Koala bears. I told her they wouldn't let her in if she was wearing them. She looked at me, bewildered.. so I informed her that her gloves didn't meet the koalifications.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clutchmasterflex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2015
🚨︎ report
Got my whole family on Christmas with this one.

My mother was talking about a friend of hers who is really skinny because she works out all the time.

Mom: All she does is bike and exercise, she doesn't even have a stomach.

Me (with a purposely bewildered look): Then how does she eat anything?

Many eye rolls and groans were had and my wife just glared at me.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mydrumluck
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2016
🚨︎ report
I Am My Father's Daughter

Today, my husband is cooking dinner and I gloriously get to observe. I see he's reaching into the cupboard and taking out the rice, then pipe up,

"Oh, so we are having really small rice then?"

Cue, bewildered look, shortly followed by an impressive groan.

Yep, it was minute rice! My dad would be so proud!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BloominGroovy
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.