Breaking news from Wuhan: Widespread attacks on locals by large black-and-white bears.

Authorities fear a pandamic.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 540
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dlowbeer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 23 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A bear attacks a man and the two fight.

The man wins the fight and says "That was grizzly!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LuigiMSS
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 02 2022
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If you've seen one bear attack...

...you've seen a maul.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 81
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bearontheroof
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 09 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
There hasn't been a bear attack in Russia since my Uncle Vlad left in 1994...

I honestly don't see what his problem was. I think they're kind of cute

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MAN-LIKE-WELSHY
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 13 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
To avoid bear attacks, carry little bells and pepper spray.

Itโ€™s also helpful to know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung has plants and fruit material in it. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I witnessed a bear attack at the food court today!

I was at the shopping maul.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/boogerknows
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the dude who survived a Kodiak bear attack with only a .22 to defend himself?

After taking a bullet to the knee, his friend wasn't as lucky.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jan_Tik
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
There was a bear attack in my neighborhood last night...

it was grizzly.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 65
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Suwannee_Gator
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 11 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the brown bear that had a heart attack while being detained?

It was a Kodiak arrest.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ConasviM
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 11 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Dadjoked my wife about a bear attack

So I was telling my wife about the guy in Russia that was saved by his cell phone's Bieber ring tone, and ended it with: "It makes sense that it ran off. It was a Brown Bear, not a Beliebear."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PKMKII
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 09 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I had a French friend who was attacked by a bear

Claude

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 04 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My girl and I got attacked by a bear while camping, luckily her beauty scared it away. You can say she's pretty in-tents.

Sorry, not sorry.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Leet_As_Sin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 09 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My roomba went out my front door and a pack of bears attacked it, an eagle carried it away to the ocean, and a shark finished it off.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 42
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dingogordy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him

It was unbearable to watch

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PanDzikipan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
When do I stop

Once I got attacked by a bear but instead of playing dead I accidentally played dad & now he can tie his own shoes is this enough to stop?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TStrippleX
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 22 2022
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
When I was in university I was living with a man that spoke very broken English

After my first term ended I decided to move back to my home town. A few weeks later I saw a news article, a zoo had been broken into and all the animals had escaped, noticing the zoo was right near my old house I decided to call my old flat mate and ask if he was okay. When he answered he seemed terrified, but no matter how many times I asked he wouldn't tell me what was wrong. In the end I got frustrated and hung up.

I later discovered he was seriously injuried in a vicious animal attack right after that phone call and I felt terrible for hanging up the phone, but I tried my best, he wouldn't tell me why he was scared he just kept telling me "bear-with-me, bear-with-me" and a man can only wait so long

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Spedding1998
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 07 2022
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Grizzly attacks intels

How reliable is your intel on the grizzly attacks?

Bearly

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dimatrixg
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 26 2022
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the man who was attacked by a bear that ate his whole left side?

He's all right now.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/WheelyMac
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man was savagely attacked at The Teddy Bear's Picnic...

His condition is said to be improving, but he's not out of the woods yet.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 22 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Some Campy Humor

Three men go camping in the wilderness; a German, an Italian and a Czechoslovakian. While asleep, their campsite is attacked by a couple of bears and all 3 men are presumed killed. Forest Rangers get deployed to find the missing campers. After inspecting the campsite, the Rangers discover the bear tracks and follow them to the den. Inside are the 2 bears, a male and a female, which the Rangers quickly kill. First, they opened the stomach of the female and inside were the remains of the German and Italian men.

"Looks like our work here is done," the lead Ranger says to his partner.

"But we only found 2 bodies!" The partner cries back.

The Ranger removes his sunglasses and looks vacantly into the distance before finally telling his partner:

"Clearly the Czech is in the male."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/a_leash_on_a_sloth
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
So my foreign friend and I went hunting

So the other day, me and a foreign dude I know went hunting in the woods (you know, since itโ€™s such an classically American thing (I know)). Anyways, so while weโ€™re there, we get attacked by a four armed bear. Luckily, we were able to kill it before it killed us. Then I realized how rare this was, so we decided to take a couple of arms each as a trophy. So I let him, the foreigner, have the left pair, while I, as an American, got the right two bear arms.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JacobMHS
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
So a black bear was spotted near my work. Here's what my dad had to say about it.

Dad: Don't leave food in your car.

Me: I checked. No food. Not even a picnic basket. I wonder if insurance would cover bear attacks?

Dad: I checked, you have bear minimum insurance lol

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pockytelly
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 16 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.