What do you call a rap battle between two lizards? A reptile diss function
๐Ÿ‘︎ 24
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AMswag123
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What would you call your knee if it engages in a rap battle? Disney
๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hellgirlxoxo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
This Sacramento comedy show is basically a pun-themed rap battle

A few years ago, we started a show that I quite frankly never thought would work.

Nearly four years later, including two sold out appearances at San Francisco Sketchfest and a local TV featurette, our show "Capitol PUNishment" is now streaming on Twitch Friday night at 8:30pm PST.

I hope it's ok to post this in here. If not, feel free to remove with no hard feelings. Just encouraging pun lovers to check out what is best described as "a fast-paced, in-the-moment spectacle that combines everything you love about gameshows, rap-battles, and "dad" jokes, into a unique and hilarious competitive format."

Our channel is twitch.tv/capitolpuns
Here's a little video to help paint the picture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2RE9PgmfXo

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/capitolpuns
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a prearranged rap battle?

A diss appointment.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 55
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheMasonX
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which chemical liquid would destroy bacteria in a rap battle?

Dissingfectant

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Suss-it-out
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Two rivaling rappers, named Jim and Tom planned to meet up for a rap battle. Jim totally destroyed his rival.

Tom's fans didn't expect this kind of diss appointment.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a member for a royal court who you can hire for cheap to represent you in a rap-battle?

A dis-count.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/zeframecochrane
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 21 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was in a rap battle and during my opponent's turn he was sat on the floor shaking.

I think it was a nervous diss position.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TommehBoi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the computer win the rap battle?

He had the best algorithm.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Griffy_42
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A friend challenged me to a rap battle

We agreed to meet the next day at the park, but he couldn't make it, i guess it was a diss appointment.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BlownMC
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dad just owned me in a facebook message rap battle.

First of all, yes my family have rap battles over facebook, we are that white. It's been a fun rap battle of sorts, and my dad just threw down then well... Here is the conversation:


Father: Parental rap battle, game over with this one...

Father: You say we are weak

that our rhymes are the worst

Just remember my lad that we were here first

Rap didn't begin right now with your gang

It started with ours and came out with a bang

That we can't rap - on Twitter you say

o what a betrayal, Et tu, Brute

Oh no, oh snap, did that happen here

Dad threw down some latin from Will Shakespeare

I'm done with this battle and now I'll decree

Just remember my apple you fell from this tree

Me: I honestly have no words.

Father: Shit.... [TheLegitMidgit] is speechless. How could that be?

Me: Color me impressed.

Father: Is that green?

Me: Stop while you're ahead.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 193
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheLegitMidgit
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 15 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Some of the best puns I've heard. Not many videos on here but enjoy this rap battle. youtube.com/watch?v=lNtw6โ€ฆ
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/In_for_a_pound
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 10 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I'm so ready to be a dad

I really want to have a daughter and name her Zelda.

I imagine, as she gets older she will spend all her time writing sick poetry and rhymes in her journal, growing her hair down to her back, not to spite me, but so she can donate it later, and expand her wit by studying improv comedy through highschool.

As she becomes famous, I hope she will invite me to one of her rap battles and put me in the front row. My heart will grow as she takes the stage, but fatherly intuition tells me something is wrong...Zelda is frozen at the microphone.

I see her up on the stage, eyes alight with fright, hair pulled tight into a bun. She and I lock eyes, a moment of silence passes and serenity slowly enters...THIS is the moment we have been waiting for all our lives.

Looking up calmly, I couldn't be more proud as I exclaim, "Rap puns, Zel. Rap puns, Zel! Let down your hair!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ImDyxlesic-
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I called work this morning and said, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today, I have a wee cough."

He said, "You have a wee cough?"

I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 05 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.