My dad kept talking and babbling about making money and it didn’t understand.

While he was talking, I finally said angrily β€œYou don’t make any cents!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sad_Depression
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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What do you call a robber who talks a lot?

A babbling crook

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cee_ayy_vee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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My friend David lost his ID...

Now he is no longer instinctual, with only his super-ego left. Is this a psycho-babble joke? Yes, I'm a-Freud so.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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Urban farming

My neighbor just told my husband that she’s going to get some chickens in her back yard. My husband replied β€œCool. Sooooooo... you’re going to be a chicken tender.” She just kept on babbling about it, and I can’t stop smiling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lorettarebelle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Discussing history last night and I went off on a tangent about Nebbacanezzer

Sometimes I just babble on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mapguy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2018
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Lowe's: A place for dads

At Lowe's volunteering my truck to move some lumber that a friend is using to make his girlfriend shelves. He and I are standing with the boards, distracting her kids while she settles up at the counter. Among the continuous babble from her youngest was "I'm thirsty." Simultaneously from three directions around him, my friend and I and a passing Lowe's employee:

"Hi thirsty, I'm Mike!" "Hi thirsty, I'm Dave!" "Hi thirsty, I'm Neil!"

We all shared a moment while mom shot us the most exhausted and disappointed look I've ever seen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BubbaFeets
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2014
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A dad joke so bad (good?) it killed my brain

My family is on the mailing list for the National Arbor Day Foundation, so we get begging letters from time to time.

In the most recent one, there was an additional flier that had the phrase "Hurry! You don't want to leave behind all the great benefits of being a member of the Arbor Day Society!"

I was immediately disappointed that they didn't say "You don't want to LEAF behind..." I then got SUPER excited to tell this joke to my wife who was in the other room, so I run in to tell her the joke, but by that point, I was so jazzed about the leaf pun, I completely forgot the rest of the phrase, so all I could babble out was (and this is literally what I said) "Something something LEAF! Something something something," all the while giggling like a madman. I have not heard the end of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crepusculi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2016
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