Accidentally knocked my grandmas ashes into a fog machine....
π︎ 116
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
I put my grandfather's ashes In a new container recently.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 01 2021
One of my fathers last wishes was to have his ashes pressed into a record....
It was his vinyl request.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
I accidently dropped grandma's ashes into my fog machine.
π︎ 51
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
My grandfathers last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.
Thatβs a lot of pressure.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Nov 14 2019
My dad told me that when he dies, he wants his ashes to be made into fireworks so he can go out with a bang.
π︎ 218
π
︎ Jul 05 2020
What did the log say to the ashes?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 22 2020
My grandfather keeps telling us that when he dies, we should try to convert his ashes into a diamond.
Thatβs a lot of pressure.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Apr 29 2019
Name woes... translation: imagine the difficulty when she is ashes what her name is by French people..
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 16 2020
I went to Hell for burning a Bible and shooting up the ashes with a syringe.
I guess I shouldn't have taken the Lord's name in vein.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jan 19 2020
Hagrid cremates Harry Potter and throws his ashes into a snowstorm
"You're a blizzard, Harry"
π︎ 141
π
︎ Jul 02 2019
When Joe died I put his ashes in his favorite mug
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 15 2020
When my grandma died, I had her cremated and put her ashes in a trophy that said "World's Best Grandma."
π︎ 98
π
︎ Jul 30 2019
A wizard dies and they lock up his ashes in a lamp
The lamp is then fastened by the sea, just so none of the townsfolk get into trouble. One day, an inquisitive young chap opens the lamp and the wizard starts wreaking havoc upon the town. All the scientists gather and decide to chemically dissolve the lamp. But all the chemicals they have fail to work. They try to burn it, melt it and what not but nothing works. Finally one scientist says βI know exactly what we should do. Pour excessive chemicals and try to dissolve it. I know weβve tried it before but letβs give it another shot.β They bring in acids and other corrosives from the neighbouring cities and pour it on the lamp and it successfully dissolves and the wizard disappears. Everyone is amazed and asks the scientist βHow did you know about the extra chemicals?β The bald, black scientist looks at them and says βOh thatβs easy. Moored urn problems require more darn solutions.β
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 03 2019
Did you know you could have your ashes grown into a plant when you die
I'm going to have my ashes grown into an ash tree, with a grave stone that reads "he was dying to be grown this way" and in the back it will read "that pun was a grave mistake"
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 05 2018
When my cousin Frank died, his body was cremated, and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jul 08 2019
A man was found crying hysterically between the ashes of a burnt forest
He had lost a deer friend in the wildfire
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 07 2019
I put my dead wife's ashes in the entrance
She will always be adored
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 28 2019
A dear friend of mine passed away recently. He asked that we spread his cremated ashes in the big fountain in the town square.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 08 2019
My girlfriend was telling me about how this lady had her dog's ashes turned into glass and then made into a ring
I then asked her when I die if she could turn me into a window, so even after I die I can be a pain (pane).
She walked away and said she hates me, but I can tell that she was laughing inside
π︎ 231
π
︎ Jan 09 2017
My friend burned a bible and injected the ashes into his arm
I think it was a mistake to take the Lord's name in vein
Credit: Cyanide and Happiness
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 26 2018
I just threw my father's ashes in the garbage...
I wish he'd stop smoking or empty the tray himself.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 27 2018
As the title suggests, this is how to successfully catch an elephant: First, you need to dig a hole in the ground that is capable of holding an elephant. Fill the hole with ashes. Line the hole with peas.
And when your elephant comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Jul 18 2017
What do you call a bird which rises from the ashes but is unable to fly?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 13 2017
A good one from a Angela's Ashes
Frank's mother is sick in the hospital. When Michael says to Uncle Pa Keating, "she's got pneumonia." Uncle Pa replied, "well now that's better than oldmonia"
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 31 2015
I just had to laugh when I found this while giving "Angela's Ashes" a read.
imgur.com/SNh2g10
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 29 2013
Before he died, my grandfatherβs last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.
Thatβs a lot of pressure.
π︎ 52
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
My grandfatherβs last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.
Thatβs a lot of pressure.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
When my father dies he wants his ashes pressed into a record
π︎ 34
π
︎ Mar 13 2020
My grandfatherβs last wish was that we should convert his ashes into a diamond.
Thatβs a lot of pressure.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jul 25 2019
My friend once burned a bible then injected the ashes into his arm
He took the Lord's name in vein.
Credit: Cyanide and Happiness
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 26 2018
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
