My wife took off her shirt and bra during an argument where I was winning
ποΈ 312
π
οΈ Jun 27 2020
My wife and I were having this huge argument as to whose turn it is to do laundry.
Finally, I threw in the towel.
ποΈ 137
π
οΈ Jul 10 2020
Argument at family dinner...
ποΈ 22k
π
οΈ Mar 23 2020
I would make the argument for Swiss cheese being the best in the world
But it would probably be full of holes
ποΈ 14
π
οΈ Jul 12 2020
I was in an argument about what the best kind of bread was
But the conversation went a rye.
ποΈ 30
π
οΈ Jun 16 2020
Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best...
The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey stood nary a chance. The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength. None in the forest dared to challenge him. The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature. As the trio debated the issue, an alligator came along and swallowed them all... hawk, lion and stinker.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Jul 03 2020
Two droids were having an argument...
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Jul 11 2020
My brother and I had an argument as to which is the most important vowel.
ποΈ 10
π
οΈ Jun 07 2020
I got into an argument with a friend about whether pens were better than pencils...
...Iβll admit, they had a point, but I still think the argument will be erased in time.
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Jun 28 2020
What did the Eskimo say to the man trying to start an argument with him?
I really don't want to get inuit with you.
ποΈ 24
π
οΈ May 21 2020
I was having an argument with my wife and she said I had a point
I didn't realise we were meant to keep score
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ May 29 2020
I canβt win arguments against sharp knives
Theyβve always got the best points
ποΈ 30
π
οΈ Apr 30 2020
Arguments are like Beers
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ May 19 2020
Just PUTIN this here for everyone to see.
ποΈ 5k
π
οΈ Jun 17 2020
My wife and I had a long argument as to which vowel is the most important.
ποΈ 22
π
οΈ Apr 05 2020
What do you call an argument between two vegans ?
ποΈ 31
π
οΈ Apr 28 2020
I got into an argument with a friend about what the best medieval weapon was. I said the Warhammer, he said the Mace. It got so heated we are currently not speaking to each other...
Talk about blunt force drama.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Apr 05 2020
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture...
But when I got home, the tables were turned...
ποΈ 6k
π
οΈ Oct 12 2019
I got into an argument with a stroke victim last night
it was all very one sided.
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Apr 11 2020
Things have been a bit tense with my wife, with both of us stuck in quarantine all the time. We even had an argument about herbs the other day.
To be honest, it was about thyme.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Apr 16 2020
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying heβd walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
Heβll come around, eventually.
ποΈ 16k
π
οΈ May 17 2020
My wife told me she thought we'd have less arguments if I wasn't so pedantic.
I told her, "I think you mean fewer".
ποΈ 137
π
οΈ Jan 12 2020
A lot of people are shocked by the recent events in NASCAR
What is often characterized as a very conservative organization has taken a stance against racism. I'm not surprised at all though. To anyone who's been paying attention, from its very beginnings, NASCAR has always been veering to the left.
ποΈ 97
π
οΈ Jun 22 2020
I've just had a huge argument with my wife due to being stuck with her in lockdown at home...
Thankfully, it's just an isolated incident.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Mar 24 2020
Flat-earther arguments are always terrible since they're never well-rounded
ποΈ 20
π
οΈ Jan 11 2020
How the turn tables... (Son and I argument)
Me: Do you think the world just revolves around you?!
Son: Well I am a s(u)n...
Me: ...
Sun: ...
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Feb 19 2020
I just had an half hour argument with my 5 year old about the importance of wearing pants in public, and she won.
So today Iβm wearing pants to take her to school.
ποΈ 11k
π
οΈ Dec 21 2018
A lawyer and a law maker had been in an argument for several years, escalating into a bet to see who would break the law first. The lawyer then found himself in a trial against the law maker.
The law maker was outlawed.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Feb 05 2020
If 90Β° says anything in argument with the other angles, it's always correct.
Cuz it's the only right angle.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Dec 27 2019
My wife accused me of trying to win every argument we had...
So I told her why that was wrong.
ποΈ 18
π
οΈ Jan 17 2020
Most people back up their argument by saying: "I read it ...", But what do Redditors say?
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Jan 19 2020
I finally won an ongoing argument with my wife about Einsteinβs Theory of Relativity.
ποΈ 17
π
οΈ Dec 29 2019
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Nov 12 2019
I got into a huge argument with my wife over what kind of bread to order at the Indian restaurant
But it turned out to be a naan issue
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Jan 04 2020
If two vegans get in an argument
is it still considered beef?
Told by my 12 year old brother, he got poor reactions from my siblings but I assured him the joke was well done.
ποΈ 7k
π
οΈ Aug 01 2018
Had an argument with my physiotherapist regarding my posture
But now I stand corrected
ποΈ 239
π
οΈ Jul 15 2019
I had an argument with my wife in a lift the other day...
I was wrong on so many levels
ποΈ 124
π
οΈ Jul 27 2019
Why are dads so witty and quick in arguments?
Because they have great response ability.
ποΈ 29
π
οΈ Oct 28 2019
Iβve recently designed a miniature IoT smart kitchen implement for straining vegetables. Itβs a source of much discussion and argument between people in the culinary world.
You could say my creation is a little device-seive.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Nov 26 2019
What do you call an argument between two linguist salmon?
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Nov 25 2019
I once won an argument against an amputee.
As it turns out, he didn't have a leg to stand on.
ποΈ 19
π
οΈ Aug 12 2019
I was having an argument with my wife about who should brew the coffee each morning. She said, βYOU should do it because YOU get up first and then we won't have to wait as long to get our coffee.β
I went full sexist pig, βYOU'RE in charge of cooking around here woman and YOU should do it, because it's YOUR job and I can just wait for my coffee.β
She replied coldly, βNo, YOU should do it and besides, it's in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.β
I guffawed, βI canβt believe that, show me!β
So she fetched the Bible and opened to the New Testament and showed me the top of several pages, that it indeed says, βHEBREWS!β
ποΈ 6k
π
οΈ Feb 22 2018
I was having an argument and the other guy went off on a tangent
I said: Hey, man, whats your angle?!
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Sep 30 2019
Last night, my wife and I had a long argument about whose turn it is to do laundry.
ποΈ 45
π
οΈ Jul 23 2019
What do you call an argument you have while you're high?
Grass fed beef.
Came up with this myself, am proud.
ποΈ 48
π
οΈ Jun 12 2019
My wife and I got in a big argument over how she wanted to give birth.
It was our first midwife crisis.
ποΈ 90
π
οΈ May 07 2019
Split a steak with a friend the other night after having an argument.
He ended up still having a beef with me
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Sep 21 2019
What do you call an argument between two ticks?
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Jun 01 2019
Question: Is an argument between two vegans still a beef?
*copied and pasted directly from a text from my dad
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Sep 10 2019
After a long argument with my boss, I quit my job at the helium factory.
I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
ποΈ 631
π
οΈ Oct 16 2018
Today I started an argument with my wife while riding in an elevator
I was wrong on many levels
ποΈ 190
π
οΈ Jan 09 2019
I got into an argument with the guy one farm over. He got so mad, he threw a rooster at me...
"Careful now!" I said. "Them's fightin' birds."
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Jul 19 2019
I hate arguments on moving stairs
They escalate so quickly.
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Apr 21 2019
When someone on Earth transmits complaints to an astronaut in space, their argument is quickly escalated.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Jan 12 2019
My wife and I had this giant argument about which vowel is the most useful.
ποΈ 38
π
οΈ Mar 06 2019
My wife and I had an argument because I spent Β£1000 on a record collection.
Itβs my decision and itβs vinyl.
ποΈ 22
π
οΈ May 16 2019
My wife and I were having an argument and youβll never guess what my cat said when I asked him to back me up.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Jun 26 2019
A husband and a wife got into a heated argument
Both of them are working, but the husband never did house chores and left it all to the wife. It's also the wife who dealt with everything about their children.
One day the wife can't take it anymore and lashed out.
Wife: "I'm tired with work too you know? Why don't you try putting yourself in my shoes?"
Husband: "I can't. Your shoes are too small."
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Jun 20 2019
I got in an argument with beauty supplies and now we're not friends anymore.
We just couldn't make up.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Jul 05 2019
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away
They always resort to straw man arguments
ποΈ 47
π
οΈ Jan 14 2019
True story: My SO and I got into an minor argument while laying in bed last night. I jokingly exclaimed βomg, I literally cannot stand you!β
To which he replied, βgood thing youβre laying downβ. Ugh.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Mar 17 2019
I had an argument with my friend about his small boat.
ποΈ 62
π
οΈ Jul 21 2018
I had an argument with my friend about what the longest river in the world was. He wouldn't believe me that the Amazon river was the second largest river.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ May 25 2019
Is he a field agent? Does he always make straw-man arguments?
ποΈ 26
π
οΈ Jul 20 2018
My wife and I had a huge argument as to who is supposed to take care of the laundry after itβs done.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ May 19 2019
Solid Argument
ποΈ 20
π
οΈ Nov 28 2018
During an argument, my friend accused me of an βad homonymβ attack.
Itβs not what it sounds like.
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Mar 31 2019
I heard Steve Harvey and his wife got into an intense argument
It was a real Family Feud
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Apr 22 2019
A couple was having an argument about leaving some roof trusses exposed when they remodeled their house.
They had some real truss issues.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Mar 31 2019
Arguments between P.E. teachers never last long.
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Mar 25 2019
Wife and I are walking in St. Petersburg and get into an argument whether the precipitation we feel is rain or snow. So we ask the communist officer Rudolph standing next to us.
"Office Rudolph," I ask. "Is it raining or snowing?"
"Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.
I turn to my wife. "See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
ποΈ 156
π
οΈ Jun 08 2018
Did you hear about the two artists getting into an argument over who was the better?
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Mar 20 2019
Iβd make an argument for Swiss cheese being the best in the whole world
Iβd make an argument for Swiss cheese being the best in the whole world, but it would probably be full of holes
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ May 05 2020
My wife and I had a long argument about which vowel is the most important.
ποΈ 72
π
οΈ Dec 06 2019
If two vegans are having an argument, is it still considered beef?
ποΈ 78
π
οΈ Nov 04 2019
If two vegans are having an argument, is it still considered beef?
ποΈ 22
π
οΈ Nov 16 2019
If two vegans are having an argument, is it still considered beef?
ποΈ 22
π
οΈ Nov 13 2019
If two vegans are having an argument, is it still considered beef?
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Nov 05 2019
Split a steak with a friend the other night after having an argument.
He ended up still having a beef with me.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Sep 13 2019
If two vegans have an argument
Is it still called a beef?
ποΈ 14
π
οΈ Mar 10 2019
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture.
But when I got home, the tables were turned .
ποΈ 4k
π
οΈ Apr 21 2018
if 2 vegans get in a argument is it still "beef"? π€
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Jan 14 2019
If two vegans have an argument
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Mar 06 2019
An argument between two vegans is not called a beef...
Just two people with bad tempehs.
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Feb 11 2019
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