Apple Day Puns

But an apple pie a day will put his kids thru college.

Now I'm an iWitness

Keep everyone away.

But I think it’s one of granny’s myths

He has trouble introducing himself in France.

The iRoll

Edit: thank you kind strangers for the awards! I told my wife we've struck gold and she immediately upgraded to the newest iRoll v2 software!!!

At least it does if you throw it hard enough

I tried okay

Son at shops the next day: Mum, can we get that box of apples? Mum now pretty confused: why honey? Son: I kinda kicked my football through the doctors window

"... is seven apples a week."

"No Siri Bob"

A little boy had a crush on his teacher, but she was dating a doctor.
So the boy brought his teacher an apple everyday.

Yes, but only if you throw it really hard and aim well.

If a doctors kid eats an apple everyday, would he ever see his dad?

but dad jokes for 7 days makes one weak.

But if you want to find inner peace, you need a Daily Llama

Keeps everyone away

But only if you throw it hard enough

will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough

I guess that makes me an iWitness.

If you throw it hard enough...

But in my experience, so does an air rifle

Can keep anyone away, if thrown hard enough

IF YOU THROW IT HARD ENOUGH!

Can keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.