Append Puns

Thanks, but I was looking for a treatment, not a compliment.

I replied “That doesn’t sound very cute to ME, doc...”

Doc: “Have you had any surgeries?”

F2M: “Yes. I had appendicitis.”

Doc: “Ah. Appendectomy. How can I help you today?”

F2M: “Addadicktome.”

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said.

Sorry, had to mow the lawn.'

Him: "I've had appendicitis." Me: "so, you don't have an appendix?" Him: "nope!" Me:"... Well do you still have an epilogue." Him: (blank stare)

I laughed so her I had to leave the room.

Grandma was keeping score as usual, and she was getting frustrated as her pen was running out of ink when my dad says: "It must have Appendicitis".