A mailman starts his first day on the job in Amsterdam.

He has to get to the other side of the canal but can't seem to find a bridge. On the other side he sees someone walking his dog. How do I get to the opposite side? He shouts. You already are the man responds.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Lorenboy2001
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 07 2021
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How do you steer a boat in Amsterdam?

With a Dutch rudder

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ajac91
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 16 2020
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I posted a photo from Amsterdam...

Got 420 likes

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/dubaidadjokes
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 03 2020
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I always thought that organizing the Amsterdam Light Festival would be a heavy task

But it turns out to be quite light

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/GijsHuisman
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 28 2019
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What currency is in Amsterdam?

Amsterdimes

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Codeah
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 04 2019
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Why people in Amsterdam are so tall?

Because they are high

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/gimel182
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 16 2019
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Elon Musk launches two rockets from Amsterdam...Netherlands.
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/unlucky_genius
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 23 2018
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Amsterdam will be one of the first major cities to be wiped out by sea level rise due to climate change

I guess it will be Amsterdamned.

That's quite ironic, isn't it supposed to serve as a dam?

source: http://geology.com/sea-level-rise/

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bary3000
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 03 2017
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Visiting Amsterdam is like watching the Tour de France.

A lot of people on bikes and drugs.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 20 2018
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Why do eggs-benedict taste better in Amsterdam?

The Holland-daze

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 23
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ultra-saurus
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 21 2015
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A group of sea-birds flew over Amsterdam. No tern was left unstoned.
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/atomicmarc
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 11 2017
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I would like to go to Holland some day

Wooden shoe?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 1k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Niyi_M
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 07 2020
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When the moon hits your eye, Like a big pizza pie, That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 686
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ComeAbout
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 30 2020
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Where do hamsters go to drink water?

Amsterdam.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/EveryAnswerIsCheese
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 01 2020
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Extreme Pun Combo

Don't wanna be Obama self. I'm just China to make you happy. Yes, my pun Israel. Norway I'm lying, Syria stuff. You guys Ghana have to Czech these puns. Okay, I think I will Finnish now. I think Alaska guy to help me out because Iโ€™m Havana hard time. You have no India how long it took me to make these puns, but I hope they'll help Sweden your day because I Canada think of one anymore. Oman, I think Iran out of ideas Irish I can think of Samoa. I think my Bahrain canโ€™t think of one anymore but Taiwan this to continue. I want Tibet that there are better things to do now. I Belize itโ€™s time to put an end to these puns because Iโ€™m Oslo getting Bordeaux this. African hate these puns I want Togo because I Amsterdam tired. Iโ€™m Sudan with puns now.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SpareDestruction
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 31 2014
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Is this considered a dadjoke?

My sister and I are watching the Australia-Netherlands WC game and she suddenly asks,

Sister: What's the capital of Netherlands? Me: Amsterdam. Sister: Hungary? Me: Starving.

It's half past one and my sleepy self is so proud of myself.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 31
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Other_Vader
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 18 2014
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