My wife is part of the Italian military and was declared "missing in action". I don't know how to tell my kid so I just said
Why do old action figures always know what to do?
They are just following their dust-in-knee
Why do frogs like action movies?
If napkin-makers ever take collective action against their employers, the resulting organizing structure should be called “the serviette union.”
How did the one injured stunt double greet another injured stunt double on the set of the live action Lion King?
Sylvester Stallone was hosting his annual 80s Action Heroes get-together.
Stallone said, “I’m making a movie about famous composers and I’m playing Beethoven.”
Van Damme quickly chimed in, “I’ll play Mozart.”
Schwarzenegger said, “Stop is guys. I’m not saying it.”
My son informed me that the lightbulb in his bathroom went out. I told him to go get his Star Wars action figures.
Like I explained: "Mini Hans make light work."
Father of six here… my kids love dad jokes at the dinner table. Mom is less enthusiastic. Today, my eleven year old decided to get in on the action: “what are twins favorite fruits?”
Pears… And then he proceeded to fall out of his chair laughing. Meanwhile mom wants to know how she could’ve tested for this before getting in too deep.
what is a dog's favorite action movie?
Indiana Bones: Raiders of the Lost Bark (source: Google joke of the day)
Who is every woodland creature's favorite action movie actor?
If spaghetti made an action movie what would it be called?
What did Mario say when he found out his mom was missing in action?
Mama MIA! (credit to u/_fashionablyLate - Fashionably Late Comics.)
Perfect for non-start action
Here's an old one I still chuckle at: There's an upcoming Hollywood action film about classical musicians...
The cast, made up of high-profile action stars, were choosing their roles.
Sylvester Stallone went "I want to be Mozart!". Bruce Willis said "Then I'll be Beethoven!" and Jean
-Claude Van Damme, "I'll go with Tchaikovsky".
After a moment of silence, Arnold Schwarzenegger stood up, looked at everyone in the room, and said "I'll be Bach".
Say what you will about Will Smith's action
But you got to admit it was a bald move
I'm filing a class action lawsuit against the major diaper companies.
Their products don't hold anywhere near the 22-37 pounds advertised on the package.
My wife said she really wanted to become a Live Action Role Player…
I said that sounds great just change your name to Cindy Larper
The right hair style will get you lots of action.
It's quite the afro disiac.
Who is the action star that is made of machine?
Did you see the class action lawsuit against that company that makes decorative pillow covers?
My friend and I are working on a tight deadline in our Dracula action figure business.
I have to make every second Count.
I had a little fling with a lady I had recently met, and I couldn’t help but notice something interesting on her bedside table. It was a support structure that helped keep a little armor-clad action figure standing upright.
I guess it was my one-night stand’s nightstand’s knight stand.
Where do toy stores keep their Terminator action figures?
Got a email today from a 'Bored Housewife, 32, looking for some action."
I've sent her my ironing. That'll keep her busy.
My friends say I make too many action movie puns.......
I told them I can't help it, old habits DIE HARD.
Voting is democracy in action. Not voting is democracy inaction.
I bought my kids Avengers action figures for Christmas so I don’t have to sit and build.
They were already assembled.
Which car is most like a Star Wars action figure?
I’ve started turning puns into homemade action figures.
My friend got me an action figure of a birdman with an abacus for Christmas
I didn’t really want it but it’s the Thoth that counts
When I was in charge of editing an action movie, I noticed an unnecessary scene that was only slowing down the plot.
So I decided to just cut to the chase.
I watched a film about a goverment loan. There was a lot of action.
My daughter asked me for a recommendation for a good book. I told her I had the perfect book in my collection for her to read. It has drama, romance, betrayal, excitement, action, love, loss, heroes, villians, mystery and puzzles. Pretty much everything really. Excitedly she asked me for it.
I handed her the dictionary.
I finally see why people don’t like the live action DC films!
Because they don’t do the heroes justice
Hugh Jackman is making a live action Frosty movie where he joins the circus!
It’s called The Greatest Snowman.
Here we see two birds of prey in full action
Or nuns as they are more commonly clawed
Which musical instrument is most likely to take legal action against the others?
What do action heroes do when they die?
They drop kick the bucket.
My brother and I are working on a tight deadline in making Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make a bunch of Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
My brother and I make Dracula action figures for a living, and we are on a really tight deadline.
I have to make every second Count.
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
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