I know I sound like a conspiracy theorists but I just discovered the government has already designed the Pi variant
They will unleash it March 14 at exactly 1:59 AM.
A mathematician, an accountant and a sound engineer walk into a restaurant, how many seats at the table do they need?
GF ordered a toy that makes animal sounds for her nephew. I picked up the package, and couldn't resist.
imgur.com/dscSsqO
The last thing my grandfather told me was “It’s worth spending money on good speakers.” That was some sound advice.
What sound does a street sweeper make when you step on the gas?
If you play guitar and want to know the secret to making it sound better
I hate the word "xenophobia", it sounds so...
I bought a record at the charity shop the other day, "Sounds That Wasps Make". I took it home and it sounded nothing like Wasps.
That's when I realised I was playing the Bee side.
A man has a grandfather clock that only makes the tick sound, so he hires a German clockmaker to make repairs
When the clockmaker arrives he pulls out his tool bag and spreads it out across a table. He shines a flash at the face of the clock and says “Ve have vays of making you tock”
Always liked the opera, sounds soap nice
I asked a caveman "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?"
Scientists have recently recorded the sound of two helium atoms laughing.
Did you know that most Egyptian Pharaohs had the same characteristic sound to their flatulence?
They all had their toot in common.
Did you hear about the bad sound engineer?
He had too much treble with the knobs.
Then there was the Egyptian Army General who got his brigade to sound like a flock a crows at the same time every day.
He ordered them, “At 2:10, caw, men!”
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
I was looking for the sound track to Mortal Kombat
but all I could find was a bunch of Finnish Hymns.
What sound does an aircraft make when it hits the ground?
If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?
Yes! It’s a decrescendo!
(My grandpa pulled this one on me at random over Skype. Total facepalm)
What sound do you make when you swept the floor too fast?
Downloaded film Titanic for the family to watch this evening. Annoyingly Video and Sound has come across in separate files.
The sound from a musician on stage bounces off the auditorium walls to surround the audience
The sound from a pigeon on stage does not do this because of a coo sticks.
My friend makes a living off of being the sound of a clock.
Her actual words were, "I'm a tiktoker," but I knew what she meant.
What's the sound an England drum set makes?
My sister has been reading game of thrones and she really liked the line "the sound of steel on steel"
So she decided to steel it
I made a joke about the song Staying Alive and how it sounds like women singing. Apparently many of you didn’t like it.
Hereby my sincere apolobeegies!
What did the sound engineer say on his last day of work?
Have you ever heard the sound of horses running?
It's too good too good too good too good.
My favorite sound is the smoke detector...
‘cause that’s how I know supper is almost ready.
When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.
It's called Parking Son's disease.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.
Auditoriums are specially designed so that sound will bounce around the walls and ceiling in order to be projected to the audience. However, if you place a pigeon on the stage, the coo of said pigeon will not bounce.
This is because of a-coo-sticks.
What sound did the piano make when it was thrown off the barracks roof?
My favorite part of the morning is the sound of pouring coffee into my metal thermos
It’s the little tings in life, ya know?
Did you know that auditoriums are designed to have sound bounce around to the audience?
This doesn’t happen with pigeons, though. This is because a coo sticks
This year, my friend decided to play his string instrument with a neck and a deep round back enclosing a hollow cavity, with a sound hole in the body at the voting booths...
He was arrested for ear poll-lute-tion.
How do we know that a tree makes a sound if it falls in the forest?
Because it will dialogue.
I like the sound of “fiancé”
My 3yo is in a phase where he makes up words a lot, and today I heard him singing "Crotch-ohs, crotch-ohs" over and over. I told my wife, "That sounds like the worst breakfast cereal ever..."
"But at least it's made with whole groins."
My dad was an organ player at basketball games, one time something got stuck on the organ and it made such a loud sound he sadly died.
The death was listed as “organ failure”
If a judge loves the sound of his own voice,
If you play guitar and want to know the secret to making it sound better...
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
Scientists record the sound of two helium atoms laughing.
Got a vinyl album the other day on wasp sounds. Played it, didn't sound anything like wasps!
Turns out I was playing the bee side
Scientists have recently recorded the sounds of two helium atoms laughing
The sound from a musician on stage bounces off an auditoriums walls to surround the audience, however
The sound from a pigeon does not, because a coo sticks.
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