I just told a dad joke so shit my wife shouted at me and stormed off (not a joke)

She said I wish you would put as much effort into life as you do your shitty jokes. It wasnt even that bad.

The man on the news said "...in the run up to christmas stores are already announcing record sales" I said "thats not news HMV* announces record sales everyday".

*HMV is a music shop.

👍︎ 11
💬︎
👤︎ u/mitcheg3k
📅︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Duvet

This year I'm releasing a Christmas record called Duvet Know it's Christmas?

It's a cover.

👍︎ 53
💬︎
👤︎ u/Mickglfc1
📅︎ Dec 20 2016
🚨︎ report
My son broke my record this Christmas...

I loved that Dean Martin Christmas Record.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/McRead-it
📅︎ Dec 25 2013
🚨︎ report
Driving past Christmas lights

We drive past a house with Christmas lights still on (January 12)

Dad- "That's a new record for earliest Christmas lights! Can you believe they already have them up?"

👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 13 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.