My imterviewer asked me why I put A, C, D, E, I, M, N, O, R, and T on my application.
I told him they were the letters of recommendation.
π︎ 160
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
What's a knight's favorite type of e-mail?
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jul 24 2020
E-flat walks into a bar. The bar tender looks up and says,
βIβm sorry. We donβt serve minors.β
π︎ 32
π
︎ Jun 02 2020
What do you call a person who steals e-cigarettes?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 26 2020
I had a friend in high school who was a foreign exchange student, and he always took mine and my friendβs e-cigarettes
We called him the international juul thief
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 22 2020
E is not in a lot of things though
π︎ 81
π
︎ Apr 17 2020
A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?
Because they're all not 'C's.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Dec 11 2019
E minor is a really spooky chord.
It just gives me the E B G B's
π︎ 18
π
︎ Apr 28 2020
Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?
Because he had a vowel movement.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jul 02 2020
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were not-E.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Dec 24 2019
Why are the horse stalls at a racetrack labelled A, B, D, E, and F?
Because no one would bet on a seahorse.
π︎ 210
π
︎ Apr 18 2020
Dad: Years ago I had the opportunity to meet R.E.M., and we even took a picture together with my buddies.
Son: Where are you in the photo?
Dad: That's me in the corner.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jun 05 2020
S h a m e
π︎ 628
π
︎ Feb 13 2020
All my baby says is A E I O U...
I have no idea where he picked up this vowel language.
π︎ 44
π
︎ May 15 2020
C, E-flat and G walk in to a bar.
The bartenders says sorry we don't allow minors in here
π︎ 24
π
︎ Apr 11 2020
How do you know E.T. Is a Liverpool fan?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 30 2020
Teacher: βJohnny, can you spell weather?β Johnny: βW...E...V...V...Aβ ...
Teacher: βWell that is the worst spell of weather weβve had in a while!β
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 22 2020
If a girl thinks long and hard enough about becoming an e-girl, does that make her thotful?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 29 2020
Any idea why they keep saying the letter E is a man?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
Tonight is a sad night... our robotic vacuum cleaner, Wall-E, killed our bathroom spider, Al Gore.
Why was our bathroom spider named Al Gore? Simple. He created the web.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 05 2020
Can I play World War Z without having played World War A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X and Y before?
/r/ShouldIbuythisgame/comβ¦
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 27 2020
A neighbour of mine is always in A&E with concussion,
lives just a stone's throw from me
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 18 2020
Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel in 1939 called "Gadsby", which completely avoids use of the letter "E".
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 04 2020
Today I did a study on e. coli
I made a pretty shitty report
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 28 2020
βͺMy mate gets really angry if you say a e i o or u in front of him β¬
He has irritable vowel syndrome
π︎ 29
π
︎ Oct 31 2019
What do you call a fight between E.T. and a nerd with no social life?
π︎ 73
π
︎ Oct 19 2019
When I eat alphabet soup I only eat the A E I O U (and sometimes Y) out of it
So later I can have a nice big vowel movement.
π
Affectionately,
Dad
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 05 2019
What a S(HAM)E
π︎ 49
π
︎ Jul 26 2019
I get upset whenever I hear a, e, i, o, or u.
Turns out I have Irritable Vowel Syndrome.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jul 11 2019
If a jet plane loaded with e-cigarette smokers flies overhead, you'll see the vaper trail.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 04 2019
**T H E R E I S N O E S C A P E**
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 31 2019
So a vowel saves another vowel's life. The other vowel says, "Aye E! I owe you!"
π︎ 19
π
︎ Oct 21 2019
If you buy a Ford Mustang Mach-E in brown, do they badge in Mach-E-ato?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 24 2019
Asked my French roommate the English vowels except e,a.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 22 2019
A little girls teacher asks her what starts with E but you're really bad at?
The girl responds, Spelling!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 19 2019
We all think that e-commerce is such a new concept, but babies have always been delivered.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 02 2019
I was in A&E with a bad cut. I asked the nurse if I could do my own stitches. She said βsuture selfβ.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Sep 05 2019
s i l v e r w a r e
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jun 04 2019
Smiling like a fool, lifting her veil, looking longingly into my beloved's eyes, I whispered, "A...E...I...O...U...and sometimes Y."
The priest then turned to her.
"And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels?"
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 13 2019
Must be a shit-talk-e mushroom.
π︎ 57
π
︎ Aug 23 2018
Did you hear about the social media app the D.E.A made?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 03 2019
V E G A N D A D
A girl came up to me and said she recognized me from a vegetarian restaurant.
I was a bit confused.
I'd never seen herbivore.
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 28 2019
Ζ(x)=e^x and Ζ(x)=ln(x) walk into a party.
ln(x) chats it up and has a great time, but e^x stands against a wall.
βWhat's the matter?β ln(x) asks e^x.
βI'm nervous about integrating,β replies e^x, shyly covering its face.
βOh, that's simple,β ln(x) replies. βJust be yourself.β
lol calculus
π︎ 327
π
︎ Mar 23 2017
A buddy of minp e said he would help me out on some repairs to a house.
He asked to borrow my cordless drill.When I handed it to him I said,"be gentle with him."He said"I will" I said,"I wasn't talking to you."
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 23 2019
E.T. Come home. Thereβs a curfew.
π︎ 126
π
︎ Sep 02 2018
What do e^Οi and a pessimistic anesthetist have in common?
They are both negative numbers
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 20 2018
Dad: How do you type a capital e?
Me: You hold shift, then press e.
Dad: I dunno...
Me: What? What's wrong?
Dad: Sounds pretty shift-e to me.
π︎ 43
π
︎ Dec 27 2018
Itβs a little snow-e
π︎ 88
π
︎ Dec 09 2017
A patient ran into the E.R.
And told the Dr.
βDR. DR. I ONLY HAVE 58 SECONDS LEFT TO LIVE!β
And the Dr. Replied,
βIβll be with you in a minute.β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 07 2019
Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?
Because he had a vowel movement.
I'm 28 and came up with this myself, not a dad yet!
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jun 08 2014
An onion is a tier-e fruit
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 28 2018
Does E. Honda from Street Fighter 2 have a Korean cousin named...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 05 2018
I was called out to clear a ventilation blockage. Vents were labelled A-Z. Most of them were blocked, but in any E vent things worked out OK.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 02 2018
An English E meets a French Γ
and says 'That's acute accent.'
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 16 2018
A thought of a car(e)less person
Do tires ever get tired? Or they just roll it?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 07 2018
What do you call a deaf person who can't sign the letter 'e'?
π︎ 32
π
︎ Jan 19 2018
Air Force dad joke: Why did the E-4 with a line number go to the hospital?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 23 2018
I heard that A, E, I , O, and U are vowels...
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 07 2018
Someone e-mailed me a picture of their genitalia...
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 06 2017
Why was the A an E when he walked out of the restroom?
He just had a vowel movement.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 23 2018
Whatever you do, don't take a, s, r, d and add them to i, r, s, t, and e, and then stir...
That's a recipe for disaster.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 07 2016
Did you know the U.A.E donβt have access to the flinstones?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 07 2017
My dad just e-mailed me a list of definitions:
-
ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds
-
AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do
-
BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage
-
BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with
-
CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate
-
COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
-
ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living
-
EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist
-
HEROES: What a guy in a boat does
-
LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money
-
MISTY: How golfers create divots
-
PARADOX: Two physicians
-
PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
-
PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm
-
POLARIZE: What penguins see with
-
PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV
-
RELIEF: What trees do in the spring
-
RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife
-
SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does
-
SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official
π︎ 52
π
︎ Aug 17 2013
What is it called when the letter E runs a race?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 06 2016
A Cafe had the letters C A F E ad a display within reach.
I rearranged them so they said F A C E. My friend put them back in order, so I said "Hey that's vandalism!"
She said "I fixed it!"
I replied "No, you defaced it!"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 30 2016
A discussion I had with a woman over E-mail, Ripe with dad jokes.
Me:That's one of my specialties! Yesterday when one of my coworkers playfully hit me with curtains I threatened to have her arrested for assault with a thread-ly weapon.
Her: That's so cheesy, but so gouda.
M: Hearing you say that makes me feel grate!
H: Course! I couldn't just let it brie without returning with a different pun. :)
M: I'm so glad we curd share this moment, it keeps me from feeling bleu.
H: Are you stilton going on about this? It could be seen as a provelone.
M: No Whey! Really? I accepted Cheeses into my life a long time ago.
H: Well, I believe that there is more out there than Cheeses, with your Parmesan I could continue. Too bad I am bread tired, and wish to be loafing around. Good night and sweet dreams
M: Well, early to Bread early to Rise, as they say. You have sweet dreams. Oh, and don't ask Rye if I'm in them
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 02 2016
Anybody want a brown e?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 23 2013
Why did the 'A' go to the bathroom and come out an 'E'?
π︎ 982
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were
not-E.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 25 2019
A B πΏ E F G
π︎ 18
π
︎ Oct 19 2019
I have updated the alphabet for festive period. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 11 2019
Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?
Because he had a vowel movement.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 07 2019
Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?
Because he had a vowel movement.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 18 2019
Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?
Because he had a vowel movement.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Oct 31 2019
Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?
Because he had a vowel movement.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 06 2019
Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?
Because he had a vowel movement.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 18 2019
E flat walks into a bar!
The bartender says... Sorry, we don't serve minors!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 23 2019
I really hate it when people say βaβ, βeβ, βiβ, βoβ, or βuβ
Doctor says I have irritable vowel syndrome.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 27 2019
A went to the bathroom and came out as E!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 25 2019
Why did the βAβ go into the bathroom and come out an βEβ?
π︎ 139
π
︎ Jan 11 2019
Why did the A go into the bathroom and come out as an E?
They had a vowel movement
π︎ 20
π
︎ Mar 09 2019
Do you know why the horse stalls at a racetrack are labelled A, B, D, E, and F?
Because no one would bet on a seahorse.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Mar 06 2016
C, E-flat and G walk into a bar.
The bartender shows them the door and says, βsorry we donβt serve minors.β
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jun 27 2018
Did you hear about the A who went to the bathroom and came out E?
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Oct 03 2015
Why did the 'A' go to the bathroom and come out as the 'E'?
Because he had a vowel movement.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 05 2018
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
