What do you call a bunch of racist red necks storming the Capitol Building?
What do you say to The President Of The United States when he leaves abruptly?
What do you call a bee that is from the United States
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?
I once debated a flat earther. He got so mad he stormed off saying he would walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
Now that Donald Trump is no longer President, the United States is experiencing post-nut clarity.
Donald Trump is currently organizing pigeons against the united states government.
Watt is the unit of power?
News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...
To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.
What state in the US drinks the smallest cans of soda?
Our coach came storming into the bank.
He said he wanted his quarter back.
TIL The 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry, one of three such regiments raised in 1898 for the Spanish–American War, had dogs to go with them...
The were The Ruff Riders.
What was the 16th president of the United States told before the dinner party?
Missouri has the most bordering states (8, tied with tennessee) out of any of the 50 United States of America. You know what they say, Missouri loves company.
My friend tried to ride his horse from Maine to the Southwestern United States for a type of bean but was hit by an older Ford...
The Argyle Sweater for the weekend of 4/17/2021-4/18/2021
AH FRICK THEY'RE STORMING THE BAKERY
The United States Postal Service got jokes
I hear the United States is well stocked for a bird-of-prey flu epidemic...
There are plenty of ill eagle drugs for just such emergency.
What unit of measure do pirates use?
What's the opposite of Manchester United?
The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...
Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know I’m getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beer….
EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! ❤️
We need to add three more states to the United States of America
53 states would make it a prime number; One nation, indivisible.
What kind of pants do storm clouds have
My 8 year old sons joke today. What’s a girls favorite unit of measurement?
“Capitol Razing” audiobook ignited the January 6th Capitol Riots
My office space is a cubicle, president of the United States has an oval.
Someone has been cutting corners.
If the United States annexed all of Canada and multiplied it’s area by two, what would you get?
What’s the difference between the police response to Black Lives Matter protests and their response to the Capitol Hill riots?
Well, it’s black and white.
What do you call a detective dog's party held in the United Arab Emirates?
Last week, a freshman secret service officer stopped an assassination attempt on the president of the United States by screaming “Mickey Mouse”!
When his superior congratulated him for the arrest, he asked “Why did you scream Mickey Mouse?” And the secret serviceman said “I was trying to say Donald Duck!”
Which branch of military is the most patriotic in the United States?
The Air Force, because they're US AF.
My 8 year old has created a new unit of measument...
She just picked up the squeeze ketchup and said, "I only need one fart of ketchup." She gives the bottle a single squeeze and gets her "one fart."
What's the difference between the United States and United Kingdom
Good thing there are just the two doors to the US Capitol building
Cause attempted sedan doesn’t have the same ring to it
Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...
"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"
Why did the sushi chef go to the capitol riots?
To protest the Unagi Ration.
What was the 16th president of the United States told before a dinner party?
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around, eventually.
Which branch of the United States military is the most patriotic?
The Air Force; they're US AF
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