Why didn't the pro golfer wear his golf shoes during the round? (Compliments of my stylist)
Because he's got a hole in one.
Life Pro Tip ~ Don't ever put ducks in a cement mixer because…
You'll get quacks in the pavement!
Pro tip: If you are looking for a cheap way to work out at home, consider using milk jugs as weights.
But be sure to use almond or soy milk, I’ve heard they’re the healthier alternatives.
While you're making your decision, here are some pros and cons:
Pros: Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Tom Brady
Cons: Al Capone, Frank Abagnale, Ted Bundy
Did you hear about the pro wrestler who came up with a method to remove hemorrhoids by hammering them?
He called it the Pile Driver.
If Pro is the opposite of Con, what is the opposite of progress?
And don't forget constitution.
I quit my job as the Pro at the local Miniature Golf course...
... I found the work oft-putting.
I used to be a pro at washing my hands.
But now I'm all washed up.
How do you get the mafia out of pro sports?
Gotta start early if I wanna be a pro dad someday
Sometimes I fumble when switching between chords on a guitar, but it’s just A Minor inconvenience.
My brother, the pro baseball pitcher, told me about the time he intentionally walked every player on the opposing team as a protest against unfairness in life...
That took a lot of balls.
Pro Tip: If you have a gashed wound, it is cheaper to go to a comedy club than the emergency room.
You just pay the cover charge and they'll have you in stitches.
Reviewers weren’t very kind to the new Surface Pro X.
Why should you never date a tennis pro?
Because love means nothing to them.
A cheesy pun about new Mac Pro
What are the Pros and Cons of having a Switch?
A Pro controller and Joy Cons.
Someone asked me if I'm pro-life, and I said
"Nah, I'm only amateur life. I need to reincarnate a few more times before I can go pro."
Why didn't the pro shop manager require another golfer to the trio looking for a tee time?
He didn't want to foursome.
If the opposite of pros are cons, then the opposite of progress is...
Pro tip: wait until next year to get lasik or other corrective eye surgery
so you can have 2020 vision
If you can say quid pro quo five times fast you get the job
I wanted to buy the new Apple Pro Display but I only have $4999...
I could never appreciate children between the ages of 13 and 19. Then, I added macro-nutrients made of amino acids to my diet. Now, I am pro-teen!
A dad joke original from my dad!!!
U2's lawyers work pro bono.
Apple just announced a $999 Mac Pro Stand!
Just a little extra and it could be a grand stand!
Pros and Cons of Pine Trees
https://preview.redd.it/l1bw02kr5k131.png?width=799&format=png&auto=webp&s=3e9d827518b2c69da1d87c1815a47a208a906c7a
I know a few dentists who are pros.
You could say they are experteeths.
Unethical Life Pro Tip: Put nicotine in your fishing bait
Once you catch a fish, it'll be hooked.
PRO TIP: The biggest myth about travel is "packing light" - don't bother! Light is available from the sun and artificial sources worldwide.
Marriage has its pros and cons..
On one hand you get to wear a ring. On the other hand, you don’t.
If pro is the opposite of con,
is progress the opposite of congress?
Pros and Cons of making food
If the opposite of “pro” is “con”,
Then the opposite of “progress” is “Congress”
(Dads can be woke too)
If con is the opposite of pro, then
Is Congress the opposite of progress?
Since con is the opposite of pro...
it must mean Congress is the opposite of progress?!
If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?
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