Prosthetic Leg Puns

It's just a stocking filler

It was just a stocking filler

Perfect stocking filler.

When I went to pick them up, the doctor gave me a right arm and right leg instead.

Me: Hey doc! You gave me the wrong limbs!

Doctor: Nah, you're all right.

I wanted to ask about it but figured it was a faux paw.

They're a bunch of faux-knees.

Not as a main gift though, just as a stocking filler.

Kneedless to say, he didn't get the job after that mis-step.

They were counterfeet.

He didn't have a leg to stand on.

He was hopping mad

"No, I'm trying to get a leg up."

(my actual amputee father)

It was time for the prom at Klondike High School and Tim's friends were desperately trying to convince him to go. He considered it, but was very self-conscious of the fact that he had had an accident as a young child that caused him to lose his eye, and the best his family could afford was to buy him a wooden eye. After several days of goading, Tim finally decides to go.

Sally was in a similar situation. Her friends desperately wanted her to go prom with them, but she was recently in a car accident and lost her right leg. She had a prosthetic, but it was very uncomfortable, so she had a hard time walking. Reluctantly, she agreed to go.

It was the night of the prom and both Tim and Sally were getting all gussied up with their friends. They both make it to the prom, but when they arrive, they are both too nervous to dance. Tim's friends notice Sally sitting on the wall and say to him, "Look over there! There's a cute girl who's all alone and needs a partner to dance with. Why don't you go over there and ask her to dance?" After some further convincing, Tim sheepishly begins to walk over to Sally to ask her. As he approaches her, he getes nervous, and awkwardly stands in front of her for a few seconds before saying, "Wuh...wuh...would you like to dance with me?"

Excitedly, Sally exclaims, "Would I? Would I?"

Tim responds angrily, "PEG LEG! PEG LEG!"

I asked her if she needed any help?

She said she was looking for her right prosthetic leg.

I said I’ve only got the wrong one here sorry.

Friend (who works in a research hospital): I'm building a bigger 3-D printer

Me: So what's your first project?

Friend: I should probably print something for the prosthetics department, they're always bugging me for stuff, but the small printer head takes too damn long

Me: Well, then you should charge them an arm and a leg

Friend: Seriously? Did you really just say that?

Dad overhears conversation: "... I heard he has to get prosthetics! How expensive do you think those are?"

"I bet they cost an arm and a leg."

It’s not her main present, just a stocking filler

Wife: Where’s my other present? This is just a stocking stuffer.

I wanted to ask about it but figured it was a faux paw.