"I love you from my heart to-ma-toes"
πŸ‘οΈŽ 595
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BedHeadBread
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2020
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Officer : Sir, Ma’am, I’m afraid your child was responsible for burning the building.

Dad : You mean our son?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KIT-3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2020
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Yes, Ma’am!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 244
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarahyye
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2020
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How does Yo-Yo Ma greet his neighbors in the morning?

Chello!

Alternatively:

What is Yo-Yo Ma's favorite dairy dessert?

Chello pudding!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2020
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Which one stole your broom ma’am? Can you pick her out of a line up?

No it was Witch two officer!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 06 2020
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ma milkshakes
πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thedurtyjoo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2020
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Who got the keys to ma...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/moses10960
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2019
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You wanna know what gets ma goat

El chupacabra

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kingjackal7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2020
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It's tradition in my family to always put up the Chris-mas decorations the day after Thanksgiving
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JamilliousThePaws
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2019
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So you all feel a bit less post ma-lonely
πŸ‘οΈŽ 90
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drkok69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2019
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One time I caused a massive cold outbreak in school when I lived in MA

I made Massachusetts live up to its name.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/coconutcrackin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2019
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Ouch that's gonna leave a ma-
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Skelopun
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13 2019
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When the pimp's in the crib ma
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AU55IEAri
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2018
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I've been listening to Yo Yo Ma...

... I have to say, I find his work very up and down.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MaenHoffiCoffi
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 30 2019
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Ma nek
πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ikuzuri
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28 2018
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Yo-Yo Ma goes back and forth on a string.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nemo_sum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2018
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[Request] A x-mas themed pun about slag/smelting

Context: My brother made a forge this summer and mom kept the slag from his first firing. She's using it in a x-mas ornament present for him and we can't think of anything witty to write on it. If anyone can think of a good one, we'd love to hear it!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Xattle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2017
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I bought my wife a wooden leg for Christ mas.

It wasn't her main present, just a stocking filler!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/profpimm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2018
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A lesbian threesome is just a ma'am sandwich.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ChaosWolf1982
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2014
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The founder of SpaceX is releasing a new fragrance line this X-mas season.

It's the upper-echelon Musk collection.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/all_three_bolth
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2017
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Did you hear about the Yo-Yo Ma cover of the Coldplay album?

It was all cello.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VikingofRock
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2016
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My dad got my ma earlier.

Ma: "cake must of got a bit squashed walking around town earlier." Dad: "What's a cake doing walking around town?"

He then proceeded to walk away laughing to himself while we all sighed .

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Maou201
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2015
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In Salem, MA doing a Witch Tour and Dad pulls this one...

Guide: I love questions, so at any point on the tour feel free to ask!

Me: Witches are part of the Wicca religion, correct? (Having little knowledge of it)

Dad: Don't ask the guide, look it up on....wiccapedia. Get it?

Tour guide laughs and I facepalm.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AttentionMagnificent
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2013
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My dad and I were talking about what we got my ma for Christmas..

Me: "I got her bath salt for the tub"

Dad: "Oh you got her bath salt? Good, that will go nicely with the bath pepper I got her"

I started to say "what's bath pepper" but stopped myself and just started laughing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chornu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2014
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a-ma.zing

My daughter is going to an adventure in a cornfield. I said, "you're going to a maize maze." She said, "corny."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/popdozer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2015
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