A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and it's been confirmed the problem was not Bird Flu.
The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts, however, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws.
By analysing this paint residue, it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with lorries, while only 2% were killed by cars.
Ornithological Behaviourists wondered if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of lorry kills versus car kills. They quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the look-out crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Lorry".
It's a bit of a puzzle...
100% of the people in the tent were upset.
Scuba stands for self contained underwater breathing apparatus. And tuba stands for terrible underwater breathing apparatus.
To celebrate, we invited all the family and friends we could to my parents' house and then made the big announcement. Everyone was ecstatic and my father in particular was driven to tears. At a certain point during the night he pulled me aside and led me into his study, which I had never really been inside until this point. He opened a safe and produced cigars a bottle of whiskey and a large, beautifully bound book.
"I could never have asked for a better son," my father said, lighting the cigars and pouring the whiskey. "I hope you think I was a good enough father to deserve you."
“Of course, Dad," I said, "You were all I could've asked for and I wish my son admires me even half as much as I admire you."
“Now I've shared with you nearly everything I know," he said, "But not this one thing. This is the Big Book of Dad Jokes. There are many like it but this one is special. My father gave it to me when your mother and I first found out she was pregnant with you, and I studied it and studied it, learning all the dad jokes I could and mastering book's secrets. I hope it serves you as well as it served me in being a father... No... I know it will serve you well. I love you, my son."
“Dad... I don't know what to say... I'm honoured..."
“Hi Honoured, I'm Dad."
I can’t say I blame her; I feel so ashamed…
I wouldn’t be surprised if she never plays Scrabble with me again.
Unfortunately, all the league records were destroyed in a fire.
Thus, we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
It only looked good on the Surface.
It's due to the roaming charges.
Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
I said, "No, that's the last thing I want!"
Noise cancelling fists
It was really in tents!
They think he was Pharaoh Rocher.
Apparently it was ill eagle
"That's terrible," she replied, "Are they moving?"
"I'm not sure, to be honest" mate said, "But if they were that would explain the suitcase"
The plot thickens.
She swiped left on me!
As he stopped to wait at the traffic lights, a woman next to him couldn't help but notice the large bulge in his trouser pocket."Tennis ball" the man said."Oh, that must be painful,” she replied. “I had tennis elbow once!"
It's my sixth sense.
That's a niece on alt AMA.
It’s called wiki-wiki-wiki-wiki-pedia
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The news came out of the yellow
I guess he was just barn, this way.
Turns out It was a wheel of fortune
Someone garnished my wages.
Because if they went forward, they'd fall into the boat.
Now I can’t even look at myself in the mirror.
But the details just didn't add up.
He said, "You should never press your luck."
Turns out my computer had been doing screen shots all night.
Nah that's not mine. My ear had a pencil behind it
I don’t know why I just found this humerus
It was a social media moment.
I just looked at her and said, "Well, that's unfortunate."
But he never made it as a wise man
No whey!
And now he’s taking chemo
if she was having a change of heart. She was.
My son and I found this cheesy riddle online. Why is it easier to count cows than sheep? Because you can use a cowculator.
After much derisive snorting, I said “But I could also use a spreadsheep.”
That's terrible," she replied, "Are they moving?”
“I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "but if they were that would explain the suitcase.”
To celebrate, we invited all the family and friends we could to my parents' house and then made the big announcement. Everyone was ecstatic and my father in particular was driven to tears. At a certain point during the night he pulled me aside and led me into his study, which I had never really been inside until this point. He opened a safe and produced cigars a bottle of whiskey and a large, beautifully bound book.
"I could never have asked for a better son," my father said, lighting the cigars and pouring the whiskey. "I hope you think I was a good enough father to deserve you."
“Of course, Dad," I said, "You were all I could've asked for and I wish my son admires me even half as much as I admire you."
“Now I've shared with you nearly everything I know," he said, "But not this one thing. This is the Big Book of Dad Jokes. There are many like it but this one is special. My father gave it to me when your mother and I first found out she was pregnant with you, and I studied it and studied it, learning all the dad jokes I could and mastering book's secrets. I hope it serves you as well as it served me in being a father... No... I know it will serve you well. I love you, my son."
“Dad... I don't know what to say... I'm honoured..."
“Hi Honoured, I'm Dad."
