Breaking News: In the Atlantic Ocean a ship carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying purple paint
It’s believed both crews have been marooned
*Sad Red Blood Cell Noises*
Almost all garden gnomes have red hats
Errors are red, screen is blue, i think i deleted, system 32.
How do you measure how heavy a red hot chili pepper is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now...
What happened when the red boat crashed into the blue boat?
The bass player of Red Hot Chili Peppers opened a second hand store
They're calling it the Flea Market
What's red and bad for your teeth?
What's red and smells like blue paint?
What is it called when you can’t identify a red bird?
What did the blue sheep say to the red sheep?
Voting third party is a waste.
Two snails pulled up next to me at a red light.
When the light turned green they sped away.
I looked to my friend and said, “look at that S car go!”
So I wanted to buy my wife a nice yellow orchid for her birthday, but then I swapped it for a red rose in the last second...
You could say it was a quick change of plants
Roses are red, violets are blue
Why did yellow divorce red?
Why did the bear turn red?
Because he was em-bear-ssed
A red-haired man got hired at a bakery...
...I guess that makes him a gingerbread man
I recently found out that it’s mandatory for all nurses to carry a red crayon with them.
Just in case they have to draw blood
Me: *arriving at the office after lunch in a nice red dress.*
My boss: Why are you dressed as a woman?!
Me: What do you mean? You asked me if i could join the meeting with the Chinese as a trans later?
Want to know why nurses like red crayons
Sometimes they have to draw blood.
What's red and kills people?
A brick, I don't know why everyone answers communism.
What do you get if you swim in the red sea?
Why did the elephant paint its toenails red?
So it could hide in a cherry tree. Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree? It works.
What do you call something that is red and shaped like a bucket?
To the scumbag that stole 300 cans of Red Bull from my store,
I don't know how you can sleep at night.
My wife gets mad whenever I mess with her red wine.
So I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she's sangria than ever
As a colorblind man, i thought i saw red for the first time
Turns out it was only a pigment of my imagination
Why do elephants wear red slippers?
To hide in strawberry patches.
What, don't get it? Come on, have YOU ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch?
No?
Then I guess those slippers are doing a pretty good job, huh?
My house got broken into last night and they stole over 100 cans of red bull..
I don’t know how they sleep at night
corvidae red-billed chough
What’s green and turns red when you push a button?
If you dunk a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?
What happens when you drop a red hat in a blue ocean?
Why do ocean fish have red eyes?
My post is so hot, it’s red
What's black and white and red all over?
Roses are Red,Violets are Blue
Why did the snail paint a big red S on the side of his race car?
Because he wanted to hear everyone say "Look at that S car go!".
The colours red, white and blue are the colours of freedom.
Until they are flashing behind you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue
What is red, green and eats rocks?
>!The red-green rock eater!<
What do I have if I have 8 red LEGO bricks in one hand and 16 blue LEGO bricks in the other hand?
A French guy started a charitable foundation that symbolizes the coexistence between faiths; combining "Red Cross" and "Red Crescent". What did he call it?
I decided to try something new and get my wife a box of red hot chili peppers for Valentines
she told me "give it away, give it away, give it away NOW" !
Why did the traffic light go red?
Because it saw a pretty car.
It is purple/red and makes a nibbling sound when you squat in the grass
TIL the color magenta doesn't exist, it is your brain trying to make sense of your red and blue cones activating while the green is inactive.
Turns out, it's a pigment of your imagination
I once saw a little guy with a red pointy hat riding the D.C. subway, listening to some music, tapping his toes perfectly in time with the beat
He was the greatest Metro Gnome ever.
At what age do you start loving red wine?
A famous viking of the red clan came home one day and told his wife it's gonna rain tomorrow. She asked him how he knows. He told her:
Rudolf the red knows rain, dear!
My son and I were walking down the street and he was saying he didn't know which girl to ask to prom and whether he should get a pink or red corsage. I stopped and said, "you might not even have prom due to coronavirus! You gotta look at the big picture, son."
And we both admired the new mural.
Did you hear about the guy that stopped at a red light?
How rude. I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
whats the difference between red and purple?
What is yellow, but tastes like red paint
I just saw a AAA battery-delivery truck run a red light. Hope he doesn't get charged.
I've trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine.
If a red house is made of red bricks and a blue house is made of blue bricks, then what is a green house made of?
Did you hear about Tom, the guy who lost two of his toes in an accident with red acidic fruit?
They call him Tom eight toes
"Did you hear about the guy who kept stealing cans of red paint?"
"Yeah! I heard he got caught red handed!"
How do you measure a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh, now.
What red and bad for your teeth?
What's blue and smells like red paint?
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
What's red and smells like blue paint
I found out why nurses carry red crayons -
In case they have to draw blood.
How do you know how heavy a red hot chili pepper is?
You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
What's red and bad for your teeth ?
What's red and smells like blue paint?
What's red and bad for your teeth?
Roses are red. Violets are blue
What is red and smells like blue paint?
I found out why nurses carry red crayons
In case they have to draw blood.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine.
Recently I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she's sangria than ever.
What happened when the red ship and the blue ship crashed
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A red ship and a blue ship crashed
The survivors were left marooned
What's red and smells like blue paint?
Why do nurses need red crayons?
Because sometimes they have to draw blood.
How heavy is a red hot chili pepper
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
How do you measure how heavy a red hot chilli is ?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
What’s red and bad for you’re teeth?
I finally found out why Nurses Cary red crayons
Incase they have to Draw blood.
What is red and is bad for your teeth?
What’s red and smells like blue paint?
What's red and bad for your teeth?
Why are red crayons a nurse’s favorite?
Because sometimes, they have to draw blood.
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