Æneid Puns

I hate Vergil (probably because his traditional place in the British public private school was in detention—to the point that "Georgic" and "detention" are synonyms!) Regardless, I was looking for a quote, and when I saw this, I pretty much shot out of my chair. Not a simple acrostichon, nor a double one, but a double one in reverse boustrophedon.

>Arma virumque cano, Troiae qui primus ab oriS
Italiam, fato profugus, Laviniaque veniT
Litora, multum ille et terris iactatus et altO
Vi superum saevae memorem Iunonis ob iraM;

«A stilo M. V.»... get it? (Stilo isn't spelled right IMHO... should be with a Y not an I, but it's not like Virgil studied Latin at uni or anything)

>Mos erat Hesperio in Latio, quem protinus urbes
Albanae coluere sacrum, nunc maxima rerum
Roma colit, cum prima movent in proelia Martem,
Sive Getis inferre manu lacrimabile bellum

That one's blindingly obvious, but here's the fun part: it works in English if you're clever about it:—

>Men had a custom in Latium’s Hesperian days, which the later
Alban cities adopted and hallowed. It now is the practice in mighty
Rome’s great empire, when men rouse Mars for a new set of battles:
Say, for example, they’re planning to bring war’s tears to the Getæ

or:—

>When they began to wage war in Latium, there was a custom which
Alban cities observed and now is closely followed by
Rome, the greatest of cities, whether preparing war on the Getæ

Moving on to the Eclogues now, where we get an anagrammatic acrostichon:

>Pierides, sunt et mihi carmina, me quoque dicunt
Vatem pastores; sed non ego credulus illis.
Nam neque adhuc Vario videor nec
Dicere Cinna digna, sed argutos inter strepere anser olores.

>
>Id quidem ago et tacitus, Lycida, mecum ipse voluto,
Si valeam meminisse; neque est ignobile carmen.
“Huc ades, o Galatea; quis est nam ludus in undis?

It's a smidge sophistic, because you have to ignore the break in characters talking, and read the V as a U or vice versa, but that's common practice anyway.

I also seem to get the sense Ovid was a lover more than a fighter. Freud would've got a kick out of him, said he had a one-track mind. Amores, Ars Amatoria, Remedia Amoris, Metamorphoses… Christ on a bloody trike, mate, it's only a zero score in tennis!

And just in case yo

When I read Virgil's Æneid, I role-played it as if it was taking place in the AC universe. So basically, it would start with the Trojan Horse and the sacking of Troy. Similar to the beginning of ACB, after celebrating a victory, the protagonist, Æneis, wakes up to an attack on his home city, loss of family members, loss of equipment, and the subsequent exodus from said city. One risk involved is that the story never takes place in one place for very long, rather throughout the entire Mediterranean Sea. Another risk is that The Æneid is very mythology and "magic" heavy so I feel like it would have to rely heavily on First Civilization technology. I think this setting would be very mystical and mysterious, and Ubisoft could really have fun and experiment with it. idk, What do you guys think?

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Buenosdillas

Nothing, it just waved

Why

Bob

Just to clarify, 12345678

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

"That's what they're fighting about."

free

Because his Visa didn’t work.

Because the audience only responds in a low ha