A list of puns related to "Your Song"
DJ vu
The song dynasty...
You have a one-track mind.
a Frap
Tesla/Edison is that a band? -Yeah AC/DC
β’ you suddenly know all the words to every Eagles song.
β’ you get up early on a Saturday morning to make sure youβll be tired enough for a couch nap that afternoon.
β’ you change your carβs oil exactly every 2,000 miles.
β’ mowing the lawn is no longer a chore, but a privilege.
β’ you can actually tell old John Wayne movies apart.
β’ your idea of fun is aimlessly wandering around the home improvement section of any store.
I am looking for some sort or plant/gardening puns from famous song lyrics for a class assignment such as:
You can grow your own way
-or-
Don't grow so close to me
Any help?
Me: βPandemic song? Beatles? Huh?β
Son: βYou know... We All Live In a Yellow Quarantine...β
Me: βGAAAAAA!!!!β
Iβve never been more proud. The student has become the teacher.
Oh, and good luck getting that out of your head.
He asks βHey, you got any grapes?β The bartender replies βNo we donβt, this is a bar sir.β The duck goes home. He comes back the next day and asks βHey, you got any grapes?β The bartender yells at him and says βNo we donβt, and if you ask me again, Iβm gonna nail your feet to the floor!β The duck goes home and comes back the next day. He asks βHey...you got any nails?β βNo, we donβt have any nails.β ... βYou got any grapes?β
This is in honor of my dad, who says this to me all the time. He doesnβt even know what the duck song is.
Me: You got the goods?
Dealer: I have an alloy of iron and carbon for only $1.
Me: My, what a steel!
Guy: Hey, wanna hear my joke?
Boxer: I dunno, man. People always say I ruin their punchline.
Teacher: What are the four components of DNA?
Student: Actually, there are five: Adenine, cytosine, guanine, thymine--
Teacher: Oh? And the fifth one?
Student: I got I got I got I got...
Me (metric): Why does America use the imperial system? It's stupid.
Friend (imperial): Actually, other places use the imperial system.
Me: Which other places?
Friend: The Galactic Empire.
Guy: I hate spam.
Me: I like sushi.
Me: I like sushi.
Me: I like sushi.
...
Someone: Son of a gun...
Someone Else: Now you've just pistoled me off!
Okay, I know these are not the greatest puns ever, but this is my first post in this subreddit. Anyway, now here are the explanations:
Joke 1 - An alloy of carbon and iron is popularly referred to as steel, and stainless steel costs $2.41, in which the item receives a 58.51% reduction in cost, which is a mighty bargain, also known as a steal.
Joke 2 - Boxing is a sport in which your only goal is to knock your opponent out through a series of punches. The ending or twist of a joke is commonly referred to as the punchline of said joke.
Joke 3 - Check out Kendrick Lamar's DNA song.
Joke 4 - Troops and personnel of the Galactic Empire from Star Wars are commonly referred to as the Imperials.
Joke 5 - Spam musubi, or just spam, is a type of sushi. On the internet, spam is referred to as the repetition of a specific message, especially when emailing, to annoy or advertise a product/website to someone.
Joke 6 - The phrase, "Son of a gun", is a friendlier alternative to the phrase, "Son of a bitch!" Also, when you annoy someone, that means that you pissed them off, which sounds a bit like "pistoled".
I had a little mishap with a pruning saw in the yard and asked my wife to patch my finger up. She's a nurse, so I figured she'd dress my wound better than I could. She started off with cleaning up the cut with a betadine swab.
Wife: "This might sting a little bit."
Me: Yup. Yup that stings.
Wife: Sing a song. It'll take your mind off of it.
Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to put on the red light,
Those days are over you don't have to sell your body to the night..."
Wife: sideways look
Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight,
Walk the streets for money you don't care if it's wrong or if it's right..."
Wife: sideways look
Me: "You know who sings that, right?"
Wife: "Yeah, the Police."
Me: "Who and the Police?"
Wife: "Sting?"
Me: "Yes it does."
I will now take suggestions on how to be more sensitive to deaf people. I'm all ears!
Whenever the Alice in Chains song King of the Kats comes on I tell my son that I'm the king of the cats. It drives him crazy. He's made it his personal mission to tell me I'm not the king of the cats and preempts me with a "Dad, you're not the king of the cats!" Whenever it comes on. This has been going on a couple of months.
Fast forward to present day. We're driving and the infamous song gets shuffled on.
He says, "You're not the king of the cats."
I reply, "Then why does every cat we meet call me your majesty?"
He drops this gem, "They don't say that, and if they did, they'd say your meowjesty."
I couldn't be more proud.
In Wal-mart, looking for my girlfriend, and trying to practice my spanish
I look around and say "donde estan, donde estan, donde estan", kind of thinking about this song I heard years ago.
She goes, what does "donde estan mean?"
I say, well it sort of means "where are you, or where are they? I'm looking for your mom and your sister."
Her reply was "I donde estahnd what your saying"
"How Bizarre" by OMC was playing
Her: I swear I hear this song every time we're here.
Me: How bizarre.
Her: Just cause you're a dad now doesn't mean you can use your dad jokes on me.
So every night for the past almost 6 years I sing her the Sunshine Song
You know, "you are my Sunshine, my only sunshine."
And after a few years I got tired of it and would start songs from the nightmare before Christmas (because I'm a big elfman nerd) and Part of your world (because I'm completely obsessed with singing out of key chick verses and the little mermaid is dope af) but she would SCREAM anytime I started anything that wasn't the Sunshine song, I love this, so I go on for a couple bars while she's screaming then calm her down and sing the right song. To be fair, she likes the I'm On The Outside by boingo, so I belt that too. Although it's only acceptable in the car.
Now here I want to add that in the description of the event I will place a * where she interrupts me and the words immediately after that * will be her words.
Ok, so she's in bed just now and I said What song do you want me to sing?
Obvs sunshine dude.
So I start with the "look at this stuff, isn't it neat?"
And she's not screaming, she has a smile on her face so my mind is like "did she become ok with this, can I finally sing a different song than sunshine and eponas song?" So I keep going thinking that I finally won.
I get to the line, "Fliiping your fins, you won't get too **fart!"
I'm fucking dead this kid played me like a fiddle.
Someone call 911 I'm ded
Why didnβt the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
Whats green and smells like bacon? Β Kermit the Frogβs finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Β Kevin Bacon
If you canβt get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, youβre bacon my heart melt.
What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.
First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trumpβs cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.
Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.
If Kevin Bacon doesnβt whisper βHere comes the Baconatorβ before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost
Iβll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge thatβs not bacon
If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?
This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.
If we donβt build a wall on our northern border, theyβll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.
I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.
My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaverβ¦because Iβm Canadian.
When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know youβre getting extr
... keep reading on reddit β‘So recently there's some news of a student taking food from the community fridge that doesn't belong to them. I'm in charge of making a parody of Iggy's Azeala's song "Fancy". I want to make a joke that uses both things.
The best I can come up with is What does your food in the community fridge and the parody video have in common? It's gonna be as cool as if you found your food in the fridge.
I'm sure there's something better.
I was driving my dad to his physical therapy and Shakiras song "my hips don't lie" song came on
My dad: Son, do your hips lie?
Me: UHHH no?
My dad: Mine do, they're prosthetics
Me: "You know what bothers me? We (Canadians) can't sing the "Canada In Our Pockets" song anymore because we can't say the lines "-A penny and a nickle and a quarter and a dime." We don't have pennies anymore :(
Him: Hmm, I guess your right. That just doesn't make any cents.
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
So the new George ezra song according to the gf has a casino bit in it so one night in bed it came on...
Her: Oh I like him he can push my buttons...
Me: Oh is he like your casionova
Every year on Christmas we'll have Nat King Cole playing through the house and eventually "The Christmas Song" comes on. Without fail, Dad belts...
"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost nosing at your nips."
Every year.
Talking about a song that was playing.
Me: That's "Your Song by Elton John".
Sister: He didn't make a song for me.
Me: Shocked by how quick she was, groaned, and chuckled.
I want to get a dog that I'm going to name Feliz. That way, whenever he piddles on the floor, I can sing, "Feliz, Naughty Dog".
(Now try to get that song out of your head for the rest of the evening.)
What happens you* when play a country song backwards?
You get your wife back, your dog back, your truck back, your kids back, your house back....
Just randomly thought of this joke my dad told me when I was a kid and thought I'd share.
*oops
Daughter: I can't get these Frozen songs out of my head. (continues singing)...
Me: Stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth... that will help.
...daughter tells me I'm "the asshole of dadjokes" :/
I was barbacking one night and the entertainment (two guys that are awesome at Beatles covers with piano and guitar/singing) were killing it that night especially..with a solid group of roughly 25yo's singing along and drinking with em between breaks. An older couple was on the other side of the bar all the while they played. So when they finish their last song and everyone claps the old gentleman gets up and says:
"Thanks for coming tonight guys, made it a real good time...If you guys need any help packing that stuff in your car...these young men will be more that willing to help you"
Had us all laughing.
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