He's such a little brat.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
.....and that’s when I drew the line.
providing context cause it caught me off guard which made it more funny.
Bro: If Pinocchio said his nose is about to grow, would it grow or would it not grow?
Me: I don’t know, you’ve created a paradox.
Bro: I created two doctors?
Himyouroelbow
Thankfully, she was a happy medium between the two.
"So we'll have a dalmatian plantain, son."
He replied that it was getting better.
"Glad to see that you're alr-eye-ght" I said.
He asked if I had any more bad puns to make.
"I do, but the rest are just cornea".
"It's El Normal."
...Nice.
My brother and I both caught some nice fish at almost the same time. My dad exclaimed "My two seamen!" and clapped us on the back and started laughing to himself.
So we were at Home Depot waiting for someone to come cut some wood, when my brother points at the price for the plastic trim behind me.
Brother: It costs 914 dollars?!
Me: No.
Brother: They should really make that clear then.
Me: But then you couldn't see it.
I walk into the room and my Dad says, "There's an Alzheimer's patient in his game. His name is Charlie, and he keeps getting lost."
Me: "but the door only moves side-to-side!"
When getting ready to leave the house:
"Dad can you put my shoes on?"
"They won't fit me"
And upon picking them up from school:
"How was Doris today"
"Dad, there is no one at school called Doris"
"Oh was she sick today?"
